BIT Squad - Beyond the 4th Wall
Episode 10 - A Squad Christmas Carol
2BIT & BIT Squad belong to... 2BIT.
GeneX & related characters belong to 2BIT.
Sonic the Hedgehog & related characters belong to SEGA.
Mario belongs to Nintendo.
Other characters belong to their respective owners.
By now, hopefully you know BIT Squad's deal. A demigod fox named 2BIT split his being into several others in order to help him watch over the multiverse, operating out of a small dimension known as Byte Space. They keep the peace across worlds 2BIT created and worlds he didn't. They are BIT Squad.
As Christmas was approaching, Byte Space's office was decked out in festive lights and a tiny Charlie Brown style Christmas Tree that Gator had put out. A real one, shedding pine needles everywhere. Some squad members that had been in the field for a while had come home, including 10BIT, otherwise known as Dogson, a tailless brown floppy-eared dog who represented 2BIT's nostalgia, being based on the first being he ever created. "So, Rainbow named you guys? Rats, I could've used a new name..." Dogson sighed as he spoke to Vixy. "I wouldn't say these names are great..." she mumbled. Stripes, the black & white tiger, came out of his office as the Squad was relaxing on a break. "Alright, I have the work sheets for the week of December 25th..." he announced, getting a collective groan as a result. "I'm happy to work, boss, but Christmas day?" Cupie chuckled nervously. "Multiverse crime doesn't take a holiday." Stripes said. "Yes it does!" Gator shouted. 2BIT walked over to Stripes and led him back to his office. "Don't riot, guys! I'll talk to him..." he said, closing the door behind them, "You remember I'm the boss, right?" 2BIT said. Stripes nodded. "You remember you put me in charge of the office, right? So technically, I'm the boss." he grunted. 2BIT rubbed his chin. "Okay, consider me your Marley right now. You're being a bit of a jerk, even for my work ethic. So, have fun getting visited by three spirits." he said, turning to exit. Stripes crossed his arms. "Har har. That's just a bunch of movies. Isn't it? ...2BIT?" he babbled, but 2BIT didn't turn back. "...I'm not giving us the day off. You guys work, I make you work. That's what being the work ethic is all about..." he grumbled.
Stripes was napping a bit later, and awoke to find his office unusually dark. "Huh? ...Hey, there's no night in Byte Space. What gives?" he muttered. "There's night when it's narratively convenient!" came a voice. It was Dogson, who was lightly floating above Stripes' desk and holding a candle. "Guess what? I'm your Ghost of Christmas Past!" he said, "Guess that's why I was introduced in this episode. Meh." he muttered. Stripes rubbed his eyes and grunted. "Good luck with that. My past is 2BIT's past." he stated. Dogson shrugged. "We'll see about that!" he said, snapping his fingers. They emerged in a bedroom. "Christmas 1991!" Dogson announced. A small, cute-looking child 2BIT was seated in front of a TV, playing Sonic the Hedgehog on SEGA Genesis. "See?" Stripes said. "Wow... 2BIT sucked..." Dogson muttered, "And look, he quits. I guess he didn't get into Sonic until Tails showed up..." he sighed. "Wasn't this supposed to be about me? And isn't 2BIT supposed to be ageless?" Stripes asked. "All good questions! Let me fast-forward through 2BIT's life story here..." Dogson muttered, tapping the candle a bit. Eventually, they came to Stripes, asleep at his desk. "Do you ever work, work ethic?" Dogson asked. "My job doesn't take long!" Stripes protested. Dogson glanced outside his office. No one was there. "Well, you didn't use to force everyone to work on Christmas." he stated. "There wasn't as much to look after then." Stripes sighed. Dogson flipped ahead to a later Christmas. Stripes was frantically running about the office from desk to desk, inputting commands at each terminal. "8BIT tried to pull something that year. Tried to shut us down. I ran myself ragged trying to keep the lights on!" he grumbled. Dogson shrugged. "Yeesh, that's ruff... Sorry, dog pun. But why haven't you ever taken a vacay like the others? Surely 2BIT could've fixed this in the morning?" he suggested. Stripes sighed. "I'm... 2BIT's work ethic... He neglects me a lot as it is. If I can be around to do something right once in a while, I should, right?" he said glumly. Dogson blew out the candle and they were back at the present. "Don't be a downer, this is a comedy series. Well, I'm off! Enjoy the present!" Dogson said, flying right through the wall. "How do living people become ghosts and then go back to living after??" Stripes asked.
He tried to return to his nap, but he knew he'd be woken up again soon. He'd seen this movie; Several versions. That made it harder to soundly rest. And then, just as he started to drift off, an icy wind blew open his office door, and a cheerful laugh roused him as Booster the Reindeer flew in, wearing a green Santa suit and dashing around the air in his office playfully. "Hey! Merry Christmas, palsy! I'm your Ghost of Christmas Current!" he giggled. "Don't you mean present?" Stripes asked. Booster landed beside him and poked his chest, giving him a static jolt. "Yow!" he yelped. "Nope, current! Presents come to those who deserve them, so sayeth the law of the North Pole!" he chuckled. Stripes grunted and stood up. "Shouldn't you be working for Santa right now?" he grumbled. "I'm a backup reindeer. How many of us does he need?" Booster chuckled, "But we're here to talk about..." he was interrupted by Stripes. "Let me guess; Nephew Fred and Tiny Tim?" he smirked. Booster scratched his head. "Err... No. Fred Leo and Tim the Fawn are both from the future, so I guess they're not in my itinerary..." he stated to Stripes' bewilderment. "Come on! Touch my silky robe! It knows the way!" Booster stated with a grin. Stripes grabbed the scruff of his collar. "You wake me up like that again and I'll knock you into Christmas Yet-to-Come!" he warned as the scene shifted around them to show what Christmas Day would look like that year. BIT Squad was glumly watching monitors within the office, many of them looking particularly depressed as they watched celebrations in other dimensions. Sonic and their friends were out singing carols in GeneX Prime. 2BIT could see his Pokemon frolicking in Poke Pelago's islands without him. "Ingrates. Yeah, have your fun Primarina...And all you Crobats..." he muttered. And of course, Jingle the Reindeer had been to another town 2BIT had a mayorship over. "Jingle's such a showoff. Really pulls off that Santa suit..." Booster mumbled, looking at his own suit with insecurity. Stripes shrugged. "So the office is bored. So what?" he grumbled, "They're not gonna die." Stripes stated. "I'm gonna DIE if I have to watch this any longer!!" Vixy conveniently whined, crying a little. Booster looked at Stripes with his arms crossed, and Stripes sighed. "Well, why should I suffer alone?" he asked. "I don't know. Why should you? Close the office." he suggested. "But if we're not watching..." Stripes stammered. "Does the multiverse fall apart on Halloween? Yeah, Santa sees you in there. But actually, don't answer that, not a great example. Well, this is why there's three ghosts. Maybe future will give you something to think about!" he said, poking Stripes again and jolting him, which caused him to wake up in his office. "...I picked a bad day to start drinking coffee. I'm having reactions to it..." Stripes grumbled.
Of course, he realized there was one ghost left. "Alright, guys. This episode is already running long. On with it! Where's future!? Who is it? The Doomsayer? The Deathbringer? Phone it in, why don't you guys!" he shouted. Sure enough, a hooded figure appeared, holding a scythe. "I am the Ghost of Christmas Future!! I know all that ever will be...on Christmas!! The hanging of garland shall be outlawed after one too many holiday-related hangings!" the ghost's voice boomed. Stripes tried to peer into his hood. "You're not Guard, voice is different. They didn't get 8BIT for this?" he asked. The ghost tapped his scythe. "Such questions are meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Now, let's see how Christmas will look after the Sun burns out..." he stated. "Uhm... Isn't this supposed to be about me?" Stripes asked. The ghost groaned. "FINE... Like it matters when all Earths are cold lifeless balls of rock..." he grumbled, tapping the scythe again to transform the scene around them. They arrived in GeneX Prime, where they saw Booster sitting at an intersection with a windshield wiper. "I'll wash up your car for rings! Shine your shoes? Sing to your kids?" he asked a car as he flagged it down. Officer Razor crept over and cuffed him. "You've been warned about bothering people, elf!" he grunted. "I-I'm not... Okay..." he babbled. Stripes glanced at the ghost. "What are you saying? My work ethic spilled over into the worlds we care for, and none of them celebrate Christmas anymore? That's nuts." he said. "Maybe for Scrooge, but you're a demigod." the ghost stated, "Come..." he said, tapping his scythe. Next they saw Dogson, curating a small "history of Christmas" museum in a lonely corner of the Mushroom Kingdom. A few bored looking Toads shuffled about. Dogson himself looked rather glum. Gator was mopping up nearby. "You know what this place needs, doggy? Heavy metal music." he stated. Dogson sighed. "No one even gets it anymore..." he frowned. Stripes scoffed. "Laying it on a little thick, aren't you?" he asked. "All it takes is a couple years without Christmas. People decide for a moment they're happier without it. Less bills. No annoying relatives. When no one's doing it at all, they lose the point entirely..." the ghost said, tapping his scythe.
They shifted to Byte Space, which was mostly empty. A sign hung from a dark corner reading "I told you so." Stripes looked at it and frowned. "That's Dusk's work, I guess..." he muttered. He looked around and saw 2BIT, with a new monitor setup pulled right out of The Dark Knight, allowing him to closely watch and control all worlds by himself. "What, I pushed him so far he went full control freak?" Stripes asked. 2BIT shivered and tapped some keystrokes. "A time anomaly? Ohh... It's one of those pesky ghosts of Christmas. I'll get the Phantom Fighters in here to rid us of that!!" he shouted, summoning Sonic and Tails with ghost-catching packs! "Oh... Right. Demigod." the ghost babbled. Stripes jumped. "Get us out of here then! Hey, where am I? And don't say dead, that's a cliche!" he shouted. The ghost tapped his scythe and they emerged in his office...where they found the door bricked up. "Hey! What's the deal?" Stripes asked. "2BIT got fed up with you calling the shots after you made him snap. At least you get to nap all you want. And hey, you won't die until he dies. Have fun!" the ghost said, starting to walk away. "Hey!! You can't leave me like this!!" Stripes shouted, grabbing for the ghost. His hood fell to reveal...a bunny? It was a dark-blue rabbit, with a very glum looking face. "Oh, great! You ruined my whole dark-broody vibe!" he snapped. "Wait... Dusk??" Stripes stammered. He'd never actually seen Dusk, aka 6BIT. He started to chuckle. "You're a bunny?" he grinned. "I'm a hare! Stop laughing! Oh, fine. Whatevs. Not like you'll change. Merry Christmas, dude..." He raised his scythe as if to strike Stripes, and he raised his hands to block, only for everything to go black!
Stripes once again awoke in his office. The first thing he did was take his coffee mug and drop it in the trash bin. The second thing he did was go to the door, peeking his head out to see everyone working. "...Okay, stop harassing me, guys. You can have Christmas off." he announced. "But I haven't begun to harass you!" Gator stammered. 2BIT looked over at Stripes with a smile. "Thanks, man. Merry Christmas! Wanna join us on our vacation to Alola? I got you all disguises so the humans won't freak out!" he offered. Stripes shrugged. "Well... Why not... Halloween doesn't destroy the multiverse, right? Hey, did you guys know Dusk is a cuddly bunny?" he asked with a grin. "WHO TOLD YOU?!" Dusk shouted from his dark corner, "I mean...it's a lie. I'm a snake." he stated. Vixy held a flashlight to his corner and chuckled. "A cute and cuddly snake!" she giggled, seeing his rabbity form. Dusk pouted. "Humbug I say. See if I help haunt people in their dreams again..." he grunted. Booster flew across the office as everyone laughed, somehow making it snow under him. "Merry Christmas to all! And to all a Happy Random Weekday that isn't Christmas yet!" he cheered. Stripes rubbed his eyes with a nod, and retired back to his office to finish his nap. "Our office is totally nuts... I love those guys..." he sighed with a smile.
End!
Happy Holidays from 2BIT and the BIT Squad!
