“Initial session with Nadir Brown: rabbit, male, twenty-six. Have you thought about hurting yourself or others?”
“No. Of course not. Well, not really.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I don't actually want to hurt anybody, or myself.”
“But?”
“Well, I'm just kinda losing interest in trying to prevent it.”
“Why is that?”
“Well, I'm a rabbit, you know, and everybody expects rabbits to be energetic breeders. It's kind of in the Rules and all.”
“But?”
“Well, I never really wanted to.”
“And you think that's a problem?”
“Well, no, but others do. They ask me how many kids I have and why I don't have any, even the non-rabbits think it's a joke and fun to pick on me about it.”
“Have you tried just ignoring them?”
“That doesn't work at work. I've even lost a job because of this.”
“Rabbits aren't supposed to...”
“It wasn't a rabbit. He was a wolf and he said he couldn't trust somebody that couldn't follow their own Rules. It didn't matter to him that I don't follow Walter Elliott. That disgusting man has caused so many problems, but there are still millions of rabbits following his rules, even non-rabbits. It's crazy.”
“You think it's crazy for people to want to have children?”
“Not that part. It's crazy that one human has so much control over so many rabbits and non-rabbits in the world.”
“Wanting to have children is being controlled by someone?”
“No, but he's got so many rabbits believing they have to make lots of bunnies to be real rabbits and non-rabbits believe it, too.”
“You think you're not a real rabbit because you don't want to make bunnies?”
“No. I am a real rabbit. You're a real rabbit, but... How many kids do you have?”
“That's not relevant.”
“Sure it is. I'm not trying to pry, just make a point. How many?”
“I have twelve, and two more on the way.”
“Already, and you're how old?”
“That's not important.”
“Humor me.”
“I'm twenty-eight.”
“I'm twenty-six, with no kids.”
“Are you sure?”
“Considering I've never had sex with another rabbit, yeah I'm pretty sure.”
“Well, I understand it can be difficult finding an available female, but you shouldn't lose hope.”
“I'm not hoping at all.”
“That's fine, too. I know plenty of rabbits that can't have children and they find other ways to contribute to the community.”
“I'm trying to.”
“One of my best friends tried for years and just couldn't get pregnant, so she became a doctor and specialized in maternity care. Now she helps other rabbits bring bunnies into the world.”
“I don't want to.”
“Have you considered donating your sperm. There are plenty of does, young and old, that don't want the relationship, but still want to have bunnies.”
“That's exactly my point. I. Don't. Want. To. Make. Bunnies.”
“We all have to do our part somehow for the community.”
“I'm starting to think this is a waste of my time.”
“I can't help you if you don't want to cooperate. This is for your own benefit.”
“You're as bad as any of them. I just can't talk to you.”
“Subject has left the session early. Initial assessments: subject is hostile and antisocial. Possible species dysphoria and childhood trauma. Medication is advisable, along with regression therapy and sexual coaching.”
