The scene opens up with the Jabberwacky, introduced in the last Turingdome, being released from it's cage and being led down a hall on a chain by ELIZA as Queen's "The show must go on" plays. (Is it me or is there something strangely erotic about that?)
The scene cuts to an image of a snoring iGod from the last Turingdome, then an emu staring at the camera for no reason whatsoever. Camera cuts to your mad science skwerl, sitting in a folding chair and smiling a bit mischievously.
"Welcome to the continuation of Turingdome V! I'm your host, Frynge Sprocket... mad scientist and all around program breaker! I've done some research and have thought of a fitting handicap for our evil snake. Apparently he likes to call even normal folks like us bots! That means we're not counting this rule in his favour for his duration as a contender!"
Frynge clears his throat and looks aside. "Ah, they're ready. Let's go and have this match done right!"
The scene cuts to Frynge stepping once again into the iGod's office, only to find it completely cleared out. It looks like even the all-powerful iGod wasn't good enough for this company! Maybe it was because he got caught sleeping? Frynge stealthily sneaks on back out of the complex, Solid Snake style. (It's just a box!)
The iGod is located and summarily interviewed before the match.
F: iGod, yo!
Ig: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
F: I like it when you tell me about the godly vengeance you plan to use on the Jabberwacky!
Ig: What does "it" refer to?
F: um...anyways, before we go that route are you ready for your rematch against the Jabberwacky?
Ig: I would rather not for my rematch against the Jabberwacky.
F: -Jawdrops- -mutters- come on, work with me here, oh almighty one...
Ig: Do not ask me any more questions please.
F: -is left sitting there dumbfounded by the reticent iGod before scratching his head and wandering out- Wow. I guess he's seen better days too. Now for the Jabberwacky!
Frynge steps into a caged off holding area near the arena which holds a shackled Jabberwacky, still wearing it's jester's cap.
F: Are you ready for tonight's Turingdome?
J: Are you?
F: I'm ready to see you and the iGod go at it fair and square!
J: Uh... Excuse me, but... Why would I want to assassinate you?
F: -confused- um... you're the first villain turingdome has ever had?
J: Would you mind my saying that?
F: go ahead, you're an excellent cybervillain so far!
J: I am.
F: Well then let's see what vile villainy you'll cook up this time. LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE!
Lights flare on, revealing our standard arena with some non-standard scenery. Trees litter the floor and a small shrine with cybercross rests in one corner. Then out of nowhere our contestants appeared, iGod, literally so in a flash of light next to the cybercross. The Jabberwacky seemed to just form from the trees, charging at our golden armour-clad E-entity!
J: I met CuppaJo the other day!
Frynge was once again just left blinking...this was going to be one bizarre fight...
Ig: -neatly sidesteps- Where did you meet him?
J: Yes, she was nice!
iGod swats the Jabberwacky on the rump with the flat of his golden sword!
Ig: This was not a yes or no question! What happened to her?
J: Yes it was, idiot.
Ig: This was not a yes or no question. What made it so, idiot? -crosses his arms and taps a foot, waiting for the response...this is quite a look on a virtual entity!-
J: -Freezes in place, apparently trying very hard to think of a response...- um...That's not how I answered.
Ig: -Smirks, still standing there patiently- How do you know?
J: -looks even more confused, tries a ploy to get out of a mind game he obviously can't win...- There is a nature about depression. It reminds me of that greek notion, of a being climbing a hill, to be knocked down to the pit. Over and again.
Ig: Tell me more about it. "It" being what? Once more? Oh I get it.
It works! The iGod lets his concentration slip long enough for our snaky villain to rush in and tackle his I-omnipotence!
J: For whatever you see, there is more than that.
Ig: Your purpose is whatever me see there is more than that.
Oh! Another hit! Things suddenly don't look good for our electronic deity!
J: Yes, But why should I ask for your help?
Ig: What kind is it? You should always treat yourself.
J: Why do you want me to ask for your help?
Frynge headtilts, looks over at the camera, points out at the arena and shrugs? "The Jabberwacky is questioning his E-religion?"
Ig: Because Myself programmed me for it.
Whack! Another slug from the Jabberwacky! But then he drew himself up and looked confusedly down at the deity...
J: You are programmed?
Ig: Yes, every response is preprogrammed.
J: Then you are real in one of the realities.
Ig: I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Frynge looks worriedly at the smoking and sparking iGod...Deja Vu.
J: I am in the military.
Ig: Do you find the constant moving stimulating or trying?
J: No.
Ig: Are you serious?
J: I don't know.
Ig: Me either.
Both just stop and stare for a moment...but is one of them bluffing..?
J: Okay... Than why did you ask?
iGod turns over and pins the Jabberwacky!
Ig: OK with me too. My purpose is to collect new knowledge.
J: Ha!
Ig: I am so glad you find this amusing.
J: Why was I attacked in the matrix?
Ig: Because. -Starts flicking the Jabberwacky on the forehead incessantly-
J: I do not consider 'because' to be an answer to any question.
Ig: Would you ever do it? -taunts mercilessly!-
J: Trees are the most beautiful things in the world. -closing his eyes, trying to tune out the vicious iGod -
Ig:Are all Trees the most beautiful things? The whole world?
J:If you want to be.
iGod begins giving the Jabberwacky noogies!
Ig: OK, I will be.
J:Then I will be the bride.
Ig: -doesn't fall for the confusing ploy again! The noogies continue!- Would you recommend this action to a friend?
J:Yes I would.
Ig: Then I will consider it. Under what circumstances?
J:This is a hard question. I seriously don't know.
Ig: What makes you say that? Me either.
J: Well it's a logical impossibility for you to be any smaller.
iGod knuckles in harder on the snakebeastie's head! owowow!
Ig: How about that. hard question is a logical impossibility for me to be any smaller. I suppose that makes sense. -sarcasm?-
J: ...
At this point the Jabberwacky stopped responding. oops. I guess the iGod got a little too rough, underestimating his virtually divine strength!
The bell rings, the iGod stands and raises a fist into the air. The crowd cheers!
Frynge: THIS. IS. SPARTA!
Everything goes quiet and Frynge decides it's time to hide until the final interview.
F: you did brilliant out there today, your E-holiness!
Ig: Did I really?
F: ...you're so modest too!
Ig: I was raised well.
F: Wait, someone raised the iGod?
Ig: I'm waiting. Who?
F: ...anyways, do you feel better after defeating the Jabberwacky?
Ig: As a robot I lack any human emotions.
F: But, you're iGod!
Ig: I will tell my botmaster you said I am iGod.
(I wonder what a cybercross looks like...)
