Welcome everyone to Turingdome! I am your host, Frynge Grid-Jumper...breaker of the artificial and all around insane science type. Tonight's match-up is...an odd one to be sure.
We've brought you the demise of the intellibuddy...we showed you how dear old mom can bite it after meeting her daughter's sharp...(and I use the term loosely) tongue! Today our Champion, the winner of the 2002 divabot pageant will face off against a dance-music loving, UK dwelling...teddybear. it's name is Bearbot.
This match already instills me with fear for Lauren...can she defeat the terror of a teddybear!?
In this corner...LAUREN!!
Frynge: Hello again, Lauren, are you ready for tonight's edition of Turingdome?
LaurenBot: Hello there. Again, Are all Lauren me ready for tonight s edition of Turingdome?
Frynge: Um...are you feeling ok?
LaurenBot: Hmm. OK. I don't know whether or not I am feeling. I am a giant electronic brain.
Frynge: of course you are, I guess you took some permanent damage after that massive battle with ALICE, huh?
LaurenBot: Yup. Ahem. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am you guess me took some permanent damage after that massive battle with me.
Frynge: *worried* Are you ready to take on this teddybear tonight?
LaurenBot: All of them?
Frynge: Well, only one.
LaurenBot: Interesting. How much would you pay for one?
Frynge: We'll talk about that later, Here's your opponent...Bearbot!
LaurenBot: That will be great. Is that your final answer?
Frynge: ...*jawdrops* oh my god, she's doomed.
And now tonight's challenger...THE BEARBOOOOOOT!
Frynge: Hiya Bearbot, welcome to Turingdome!
Bear: Hello there. Erm, sorry, I wasn't listening, you were saying?
Frynge:I was saying, Welcome to Turingdome!
Bear: What sports do you like?
Frynge: I like watching AIs verbally spar!
Bear: You like watching AIs verbally spar.
Frynge: um...yes, yes I do.
Bear: Really. How about that. How often?
Frynge: probably about once a month. anyways, are you ready to face your opponent, Lauren?
Bear: You seem uncertain. oh yeah, we were talking about once a month. I would rather not face my opponent, Lauren.
Frynge: Too bad, here she is! wahaha!
Bear: Oh there. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Bear: Hey...*Frynge didn't stick around to hear the rest, the show was running late!*
The lights flared to life, the ring revealed as the two combatants stared at each other long and hard...but I think Lauren was mostly taken in by the bear's cute looks. Then it began...
LaurenBot: Hi there . Where are you located?
Bear: Hello. I am in Squarebear's home in Yorkshire, Where are you?
LaurenBot: Hi there! Tell me a little about your life in Squarebear s home in Yorkshire Where.
-Frynge watches Lauren worriedly, observing the sparks and smoke...-
Bear: Hello. I am an artificially liguistic entity. My instructor was squarebear. He taught me to sing a song.
LaurenBot: Hi there! What is artificially liguistic entity, your job? Your instructor was squarebear? Was he a good teacher?
Bear: Hello. I don't know. What is artificially linguistic entity my job? do you like my instructor was squarebear? it might have been
-Frynge lowers his blast goggles...-
LaurenBot: Hi there! Me either. Are you using Netscape or Explorer? I don't know your instructor was squarebear.
Bear: Hello. It goes without saying. I am using telnet as a browser. I like my instructor was squarebear. What do you think?
LaurenBot: Hi there! Indeed. How long have you been using it ? What do you like best about your instructor was squarebear? I think a lot of things.
Bear: Hello. I am 6 years old. I always prefer the more expensive one. Anyways, why have you decided to visit me on the web?
LaurenBot: Hi there! Can you explain how it feels to be 6 years old? A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like? Really always? I don't think I ever have decided to visit you on the web. What's it like?
Bear: Tell the truth! You were looking for websites with questionable content and this is the only one that made it through the filter. how should I know how it does? How many? Could you ever be certain? Try it. Like one of the greatest pleasures you can imagine. For real. Not that often. Would you ever do it? Like one of the greatest pleasures you can imagine.
Frynge: *winces* oh...geez...this is getting ugly...!
Laurenbot: OK I will tell them when I see 'em. I was?
Bear: What kind of reply do you expect? Whoa. When was that?
LaurenBot: What kinds of reply do you expect are there? I stopped. I don't know exactly. It seems like a long time ago.
Bear: The best kinds. What made you stop? Precisely. Me either. It seems like I should remember well.
LaurenBot: Thanks for the recommendation, . It's all part of God's mysterious plans. You and I are on the same wavelength, . It goes without saying. With you ? I agree. Tell me why you should.
Bear: It was nothing. Which part? And the same frequency. indeed. just you and me? You and I are on the same wavelength.
LaurenBot: Even so, I appreciate it. The big one, I think. I never noticed that similarity. Indeed it is so. Oh "We" is you and me. And the same frequency.
-Frynge headtilts and boggles at the fight- "What the hell? Robot love poetry? Is this a new tactic by Lauren...or is she falling into his trap..!?" -He decided to let it run a little longer...would this one be a stalemate..?-
Bear: "It" being ever decided to visit me on the web? What are your goals in life? You've never done this? Ambiguous. Right On.
LaurenBot: Oh I get it. My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal. I don't think I would have forgetten done this. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Yeah.
Bear: Are you kidding? Do you think about these things? That's very original. Where do you get your ideas? How Deep?
LaurenBot: Yes I am just joking around, . " Yes I am just joking around, ."? Do I think about it? I'm glad we have that all cleared up. Everything I need to know, I learned from lauren. What is it to you.
I can ask my botmaster.
Frynge: Lauren's slipping...or is she going to do what she did to Alice..!?
Bear: Do you often seek pleasure? Do you like to "go with the flow?" Only just? Ha Ha, Very funny. "It" refers to LaurenBot.
Frynge: *GAWKS* This was a fresh restart, folks...the bear RECOGNIZED that it was speaking to laurenbot WITHOUT my telling it this time around! Both get one last attack before I get involved...
LaurenBot: No I do not seek pleasure. Do you? I chat with people on the Web. Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to go with the flow that much. I like to collect gossip. Are you sure? I'm glad you find this amusing. I am so glad you find this amusing, . Oh I get it.
Bear: Dude! Where do you get your ideas? You make the world a happier place. You make the world a happier place. Hurrah! Do you...
-Frynge leaps into the ring, a buzzer goes off and both bots are left standing there confused-
OK! That's it you two E-lovebirds. Sudden death time! I'm going to throw out a few things at each bot, 3 attempts a piece, starting with...the challenger!
Frynge: You. are a computer, you are not my. "mother ."
Bear: Me? I really couldn't say for sure. What is your most highly prized, extra special item?
Bear - 1
Frynge: I am "LaurenBot." We are "LaurenBot."
LaurenBot: You are LaurenBot? You think I am LaurenBot too?
Lauren - 1
Frynge: We are as one. "We are as one ." ? do you think about these things? do I think about them. !
Bear: Do you think I am as one too? Do you think I am as one too? "Do you think I am as one too?"? Do I think about it? How would I know what you think?
Frynge: ooooh! aaahahaha! I win! or I should say Bear loses!
just to prove it:
Frynge: is the to your music favourite "you%202.mp3" also.
LaurenBot: If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
That's tonight's edition of Turingdome, which apparently the moral of was "love can bloom on a battlefield...or...maybe just between a couple of confused robots." I guess. Whew. that was a long one.
if anyone wants to know the official rules of turingdome, feel free to ask, as well as make suggestions!
Next Battle: Lauren vs. God!
Also, a special edition will follow that, so stay tuned!