Donatello moaned softly as he started to pull himself from his drug induced sleep. For a moment, he had forgotten where he was but as he noticed the unfamiliar feel of the bed along with the strange sounds and smells, he quickly remembered that he was not in his room.
Though his eyelids were heavy, Donnie managed to open them. He smiled as his brothers came into focus; as focused as Don’s eyes could get without his glasses. “Hey,” Donnie said through a dry and sticky mouth.
“Hey,” Raph replied, his face lighting up with a smile. “You feel okay?”
“I think so.” Don nodded weakly. “Where’s the doctor?”
“I’m here,” Doctor Tandum said, stepping into view.
“How’d it go?” Donnie asked, turning his full attention to her.
“I have successfully cleared out your oviducts and, to be extra sure, injected a little bit of spermicide into to them,” the doctor answered. “Which is a good thing. You had enough stored in there to last you a few more years. Now, the next time you lay eggs, they should not be fertilized.”
With Raph’s help, Don sat up a little to look at the doctor. “What did you do to prevent future fertilization.”
“I cleared out your oviducts,” she simply stated. “You no longer have any stored sperm.”
“I understand that,” Donnie said, shaking his head. “What I meant to ask is, what did you do to prevent them from being filled again?”
Doctor Tandum titled her head slightly to the side. “You know turtle anatomy. There is no safe way to tie off the path to your ovaries and still allow you to lay your eggs as you need to.”
“Then remove them,” Donnie argued as the feeling of desperation started to fill him again. “I need a guarantee that I won’t lay another fertile egg. The contraceptive I use at home is not flawless. I can’t do this anymore.” Too tired to control his emotions, hot tears streamed down his cheeks and Raph leaned in to comfort him.
“I know,” Doctor Tandum soothed, patting his leg. “I promised you that I would help and that’s what I will do. That is why I have talked to your brothers and they have all agreed to a vasectomy.”
“What?” Donnie squeaked out, not sure if his addled mind fully comprehended what she had said.
“Through a small incision, on their side, I will be able to cut their vas deferens and tie them off,” Doctor Tandum explained. “The procedure will not affect their testosterone levels in any way but it will ensure that you will never have to worry about fertilized eggs ever again.”
Donnie looked up at his brothers in disbelief. “I would never have asked you guys to do this.”
If he was honest, he would admit that it had never occurred to him. He was the one that was different. He was the one to blame. It had always been his problem to fix, his pain, his responsibility.
“After getting to know you, I figured that would be the case,” Doctor Tandum said with a sad smile. “That’s way I wanted to talk to them about it alone. I was afraid that you would try to talk them out of it, insisting on your original plan of removing your ovaries. Let your brothers do this. It is safer for them to do it and they want to do it.”
“All she had to do was mention it,” Raph stated with a smile. “We were more than happy to agree. We would do anything, if it meant an end to all of this suffering.”
“You’ve tried to carry this burden all on your own for long enough, Donnie,” Leo said. “It’s time for us to do our part.”
“Okay,” Donnie said with a nod. As hard as it was, he knew he had to let go and allow his brothers to do this.
Over the next few weeks, one of the Turtles went in for the procedure at a time. It was agreed that doing them all at once was a bad idea. If they all had tried to make their way home fresh out of surgery, they would have been at risk. This way three of the brothers would be able to protect the one that was less than one hundred percent.
Over that time two out of the three fertile eggs had died. With Donatello’s permission, Doctor Tandum carefully autopsied them. She informed Donatello that she believed that their cause of death had not been because of lack of nutrition but due to complications brought about from their mutated genes.
“It looks as though it simply wasn’t meant to be,” Doctor Tandum said as she placed the remains into the chest.
“But one had fully developed,” Donnie argued. “The only reason she died is because she… couldn’t hatch.” He had confessed everything to her, leading up to the day he had laid the eggs, going over all of his findings.
“I know. Statistically, it’s bound to happen,” the doctor explained. “For her, the mutated genes managed to form properly and create a healthy baby. But for these two, they just weren’t developing the right way. There were too many abnormalities.”
“I opened the ones that developed further. I saw that some of their yolk sacks were depleted,” Donnie pointed out. “Their cause of death had been starvation.”
Doctor Tandum nodded her head. “That’s possible. Without studying them, I cannot say for sure. It’s most likely, this is just a theory, that the ones that died early were due to the mutation and the ones that died later were due to the lack of good nutrition. These two had full yolk sacks but their bodies shut down. Their deaths were not your fault and there was nothing that could have been done to prevent it.”
“Nozomi’s death was my fault,” Donnie stated.
“You didn’t know,” Doctor Tandum soothed, placing her hand on Donnie’s shoulder. “That won’t happen again. As long as the last egg is developing well, we will get it to the point of hatching and then help it through that process.”
Donnie looked over at the last egg and he knew deep down that it wasn’t going to be much longer before it would also die. It was the last one. The last one he would ever have to mourn.
The days passed and Donnie waited for Doctor Tandum’s call to let him know that the last egg had died. He struggled to focus on anything else. Sometimes he would simply watch the phone, waiting.
Before he knew it, several weeks had passed. He and his brothers visited Doctor Tandum for a checkup to make sure that the vasectomies were successful. Despite being on edge, Donatello managed a shy giggle when Raph playfully whispered in his ear, “You wanna help me get this sample?”
Their samples were clear, or as Doctor Tandum put it, “They were free of any little swimmers,” deeming the operations a success.
Against his better judgement, Donnie visited the egg. The little monitor attached to the egg showed that there was still a heartbeat inside. The doctors had even inserted a needle into the egg that delivered more nurturance to the yolk sack. But did he dare hope?
Time continued to pass and Donnie kept waiting for the call.
It was early July when the phone finally rang. “You and your brothers need to come to my lab tonight,” the doctor told him.
As much as he wanted to go alone, he knew that his brothers would not appreciate being shut out again. So, he informed them of the doctor’s request and as soon as it was dark, they headed out together.
When they got there, Doctor Tandum greeted them with a wide smile. “We believe it’s ready to hatch,” she said as she eagerly led them to where they were keeping the egg. “It’s been making noise all day. We’ve been monitoring to make sure it didn’t shift too much.”
“Really?” Mikey said, sounding hopeful. “It’s alive?” It was then that Donnie realized that Mikey had brought the mended teddy bear with him.
“Yeah it is,” Doctor Tandum said. “You ready to meet it?”
They entered the lab and Doctor Tandum led them over to the incubator. “We thought you should be the one to help it hatch,” she stated.
With a lump in his throat, Donnie crossed the lab to touch the egg for the first time. He could hear the sounds of movement and small grunts coming from within. Was this really happening?
His vision blurred and his throat closed as he was overrun with emotion. Trembling hands moved over the smooth surface of the egg as he tried to decide the best way to break open the shell. Doctor Tandum’s hands appeared over his. “Would you like some help?” she offered.
Not trusting his voice, Donnie nodded.
She guided his hand down. “The legs are here,” she told him. “It would be the safest place to start. Just give it a few solid thumps. But not too hard.”
Donnie did as he was instructed, keeping one hand firmly on the top of the egg to keep it steady. When he thumped the shell, he could feel the baby inside jump. There was a small whimper that quickly turned into all out, muffled crying.
Spurred on by his baby’s cries, Donnie steadied his nerves and continued to work on cracking open the shell.
“Be careful of the yolk sack,” Doctor Tandum instructed after Donnie finally managed to break through.
With all the care in the world, Donnie peeled away the shell, revealing the crying baby within. And it was beautiful. It had a deep green color and long, thin limbs. Finally freed from the confines of the shell, the baby was able to draw in a deep breath and let out harsh wails in protest to its strange new environment.
“Hey, Bambi,” Donnie whispered down to the baby, almost afraid to touch it but desperately needing to pick it up.
“I know you’re eager to hold it, but let me check it, clean it, and get it wrapped up,” Doctor Tandum said, before Donnie could pick up the baby. Reluctantly, Donnie pulled his hands back and nodded.
“Bambi?” Leo whispered, stepping close behind Donnie as the doctor whisked the baby away.
“It’s Italian for ‘little child,” Donnie explained, glancing at his brother. “I don’t know the gender of the baby and the name is unisex.” He hesitated a moment. “It was also the nickname the general gave to his son when he was little. He was of Italian decent.”
Leo smiled at his brother. “Then it’s a fitting name.”
It didn’t take long for Doctor Tandum to return with the baby swaddled and warm. After looking Donnie over she gestured to a nearby chair. “You should probably sit down first. You look like you’re about to faint.”
“Is it healthy?” Donnie asked as he lowered himself into the chair.
“As far as I can tell,” Doctor Tandum replied. “I will run a few more tests later, find out the gender. For now, you can hold it and take the time to bond. If all checks out, I can’t see any reason not to let you take him tonight.” She gingerly placed the baby in Donnie’s arms. “Make sure you support the head.”
“Thank you,” Donnie said without taking his eyes off the baby.
“I’ll give you guys some time alone,” Doctor Tandum said before leaving the lab.
Donnie still couldn’t believe that this was happening. The reality of it was almost more than he could bear. He was dizzy with shock. It was a good thing the doctor insisted that he sit down. “I wish Master Splinter was here.”
“He’ll get to see the baby as soon as we take it home,” Leo said as he kneeled down next to Donnie to get a better look.
“I wonder which one of us is the father,” Mikey said, leaning over Don’s shoulder.
“It doesn’t matter,” Raph replied. “Bambi has four dads.”
“I don’t think we should take Bambi home,” Donnie choked out, as he ran his finger along the baby’s cheek. It was one of the hardest things he had ever said and it felt as if his heart was being ripped from his chest.
“I don’t understand,” Leo said, looking up at Donnie.
From one of his many pockets, Donnie pulled out a small vial of the purple mutagen. “He deserves better.”
“You still have some of that stuff?” Raph asked abruptly. “And you didn’t tell us? I thought we were past this.”
Unfazed by Raph’s harsh tone, Donnie’s eyes stayed locked on Bambi. “I had extracted a few vials for testing and set them aside. Any scientist would have done the same. I kept them, just in case. With this, Bambi could have a normal life.”
“Donnie…,” Leo started to argue, but Donnie cut him off.
“I want to keep my baby, with all of my heart. I don’t want to do this but we have to. You think growing up was hard for the four of us together? Bambi will have to go through it all alone. There will be no more children. We made sure of that. And what if something happened to us? What if our enemies find our lair again? It would be selfish of us to keep Bambi.”
“Bambi doesn’t have to be alone,” Mikey argued. “Now that we have the doctors’ help, we can reverse the vasectomies and have more kids.”
Donnie shook his head. “And what happens when they are older and are driven to mate? We couldn’t resist it. They wouldn’t be able to either. There is a reason incest is frowned upon. Generations of it has… horrific outcomes. No.” Eyes filled with tears, he pulled his eyes away from the baby to look at his brother. “There cannot be any more children.” He shifted his gaze to look at Leo. “We cannot keep him.” He turned to look at Raph. “You know I’m right.”
“Mikey and I will go get father,” Leo said, standing up. “Don’t do anything until we get back.”
“Okay,” Donnie agreed, looking back down at his child. He felt numb.
Raph remained silent while they waited. Donnie spent his time memorizing every little detail of his child that he could.
When his brothers returned with Splinter, Donnie shifted the baby in his arms so their father could get a good look at it. Splinter caressed the small cheek and smiled. “This brings back memories.”
“I think everyone should have a chance to hold… him?” Donnie said as he passed the baby to Splinter.
While his brothers said their goodbyes, Donnie sought out Doctor Tandum. Handing her a slip of paper, he said, “Call this number. Tell the woman that you found and abandoned baby outside your office.”
Confused, Doctor Tandum looked at the paper and then up at Donnie. “Why?”
“I’m going to use the purple mutagen to turn the baby human,” Donnie explained.
“Are you sure?” The doctor’s eyes were filled with concern. “Do your brothers know you made this decision? Do you want to take some time to think this over?”
“I explained my reasons to my brothers and they understand why we need to do this.” Donnie shook his head. “The longer we take, the harder it will be to give him up. We need to do this today.”
“Alright,” Doctor Tandum agreed. “If you’re sure.” She turned to walk away while pulling her phone out of her pocket. “I’m gonna have to answer a lot of questions.”
“You’ll think of something,” Donnie mumbled before returning to the room.
With a heavy heart Donnie entered the room, pulling an oral syringe from his pocket. Leo held the baby while Donnie coaxed it into swallowing some of the mutagen. It took effect, almost instantaneously. The baby let out harsh cries of discomfort as its features began to shift.
Green skin took on a more olive tone as its fingers change from two to four. It took less than a minute for the change to be complete. When it was done, Leo stood holding a human baby.
“It’s done.” Taking the baby from Leo, Donnie took it over to a nearby exam table. He unswaddled it to make sure the transformation was, in fact, complete.
“It’s a boy,” he stated as he tied off the yolk sack and removed it in hopes that what remained would look like an umbilical cord.
It was hard to determine what ethnicity the baby resembled. His eyes had a slight almond shape to them and were a golden-brown color. A thick patch of dark, straight hair covered his perfectly round head. He had ten fingers and toes and a healthy set of lungs.
Donnie once again wrapped Bambi in the blanket and held him close. This is for the best, he kept reminding himself. It was getting increasingly harder to breathe.
Doctor Tandum entered the room. “She’s on her way.”
“Then I guess it’s time for us to go,” Donnie said as he walked over to hand Doctor Tandum the baby. “Remember, you found him outside.”
“I will,” she said, taking Bambi into her arms.
He was dying inside but he kept telling himself that Bambi would be happier living a normal life. It took every bit of his willpower to turn and walk away. He collected the chest, containing the two dead babies and left with his brothers.
They waited on the roof of the building and watched as a car pulled up, followed by a police car. A middle aged Asian woman stepped out of the car and knocked on the office door. The two cops stood behind her. It wasn’t long before Doctor Tandum opened the door and presented Bambi to the woman.
“Who is she?” Mikey asked, knowing that Donnie wouldn’t let just anyone take their child.
Leo looked over at Donnie. “I have a good guess.”
Donnie nodded. “Her name is Nozomi, and she was my mother in our past life. And I know she will place Bambi in a good home. She’s very good at her job.”
While Nozomi buckled Bambi into the car seat, Doctor Tandum handed over the mended teddy bear, explaining that it was found with the baby. Sadly, the bear was bagged as evidence. “He’ll get it eventually,” Donnie reassured Mikey. “It might be kept in the evidence bag and given to him when he’s older but he will get it one day.”
“It’s cool,” Mikey said with a forced shrug and the smallest hint of a squeak to his voice. “I’m sure he will get a lot of cool new toys. One dirty old teddy bear won’t mean all that much to him.”
“If he knew the story behind it, it would,” Leo insisted and then turned to Donnie. “You okay?”
“No,” Donnie answered honestly. “But I will be.”
Raph placed his hand on Donnie’s carapace. “If I know you, you will track every moment of his life.”
“That’s for sure,” Mikey agreed. “You never know. Maybe one day you will be able to reveal yourself to him.”
“Let’s go home,” Splinter suggested as Nozomi got back in her car. “There will be no practice in the morning. In the afternoon, we can lay these two to rest with their siblings and then try to find peace in all that has happened.”
Donnie watched as the car with his only surviving child drove away, taking a piece of himself with it. As it turned the corner, he blinked back tears and then turned away to return home with this brothers.
-End
