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AlexReynard
AlexReynard's Scraps (29)

Bad Boys II: A Point-By-Point Review

POINTLESS GOD PUN
badboys2.txt
Keywords male 631281, human 45848, shit 1902, movie 1401, review 142, offensive 13, michael bay 5, bad boys ii 1, bad boys 2 1
My thoughts while watching BAD BOYS II
by Alex Reynard



*Oh, noo! Henry Rollins!? Peter Stormare!? Who was blackmailing you two!?

*Right from the start, we have a problem: How can you have a narc movie where the drug is Ecstasy? I mean, that's not exactly the most lethal thing out there. I have a feeling everything that's about to happen wouldn't have if the police weren't restricting people's freedoms.

*It takes Michael Bay to make me feel sorry for KKK members.

*Once again, I find myself staring at the comedy and going, 'Huh?' These jokes are so obviously filler.

*Once again, Will keeps his cool and manages to not have the shittiness of the movie stick to him. [Edit: I will revise this opinion soon.]

*I rated the first Bad Boys a C. Within 20 minutes of this one, I already knew it was worse than Transformers 2. All the bad shit without the redeeming addition of robots kicking the shit out of each other.

*Mike's new car is pretty, but the Porsche 911 was way prettier.

*Oh fuck. Not the 'one partner will soon be transferring' cliche!!

*Pool jokes: not funny and don't make sense.

*Peter Stormare's accent is supposed to be Russian!?

*And then, a bunch of aborigines in muscle cars show up. With a HORN!!! WTF???

*If there's one thing Bay likes more than the military, it's LOUD, DUMB NIGGAZ.

*Ah, the infamous 'zero regard for civilian casualties or property damage' car chase I heard about in the previews. I'm only partway through, and already it really jumps out at you how these 'good guys' are indistinguishable from bad guys.

*Gabrielle Union crashes into a shitload of cars, and I guess all the other drivers disappear or just die. Really hard to tell.

*We really have no idea who these dreadlock guys are or why they're shooting the fuck out of everything. Are they like pirates or vikings!?

*Mike's car is like Megan Fox. Huge fucking shootout and chase; not a scratch on it. (Okay, never mind. I guess Bay had the same idea so he shot up the headlight and glove compartment.)

*Okay, admittedly, this car carrier chase is so unbelievably over-the-top it is rather entertaining.

*A FUCKING BOAT. [Edit: they just fucking showed Mike's car with an un-shot headlight. OF COURSE.]

*I just realized; Marcus is wearing a Michael Vick jersey. Seems oddly fitting.

*Oh good! Joe Pantoliano! Thirty-five damn minutes in...

*Wow, they are totally not mentioning how many civilians died during that car chase/shootout. It was IMPOSSIBLE for at least a few not to.

*WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS 'WOOSAA'!? When they first showed Marcus at his shrink appointment, I thought; Big Lipped Alligator Moment for sure. But then they made the most brain-melting running gag in movie history!!

*Joe says "Thank God no cops died." Am I crazy, or did they clearly show a cop getting the fuck shot out of him during the shootout?

*Joe angrily calls the drug dealers 'animals'. This reminds me of the anvilicious 'guy overdosing and dying of ecstasy in the club' bit from earlier. Shades of Reefer Madness. Gotta exaggerate that drug problem! Otherwise the audience might realize that, in real life if all this stuff were to happen, far fewer people's lives would be negatively affected if you just let people put what they want in their own goddam bodies.

*The villain's Mexican accent sounds very cartoonish, yet he looks like a white guy. Oh, and, uh, he has a fat little daughter?

*I'm also noticing Martin Lawrence got him some jowls since the first movie. I guess not all of it was padding in Big Momma's House.

*Aaaaand now they are destroying some poor person's house/shop because he won't give them information. This is, apparently, policework.

*And now they are going into the home of the aborig- I mean Haitian- who caused that whole huge shootout/car chase ...WITHOUT CALLING IN ANY BACKUP!?!?

*"THUH DEVUHH IS NAH WE'CUMM HEEEEEEEEEEEUH!!!" What the fucking goddam shit!? Does every villain in this have to have a ridiculously overpronounced accent so the audience can tell, "Oh, he's foreign, he must be the bad guy!"

*Now the camera is spinning at whiplash speed through two rooms, and I am getting carsick.

*Wait, did that Haitian guy just yip like a Pomeranian before he got shot?

*I will admit, there were parts in the shootout that got my heart pumping. Michael Bay shows occasional flashes of talent, but they really shouldn't let him direct entire movies. Just bring him in for the action sequences and otherwise keep him in a cage or something the rest of the time.

*Wow, Martin Lawrence just said the most sensible thing in the film: "Dead suspects don't say shit."

*OMFG, is that Larry from Tremors The Series!? Neato!

*Okay, the 'porn in the video store' bit is pretty funny. Partly because of personal experience.

*And, yeah, the stuff about Marcus' ass is pretty funny too. LMAO! Especially that last line from the plump mom lady!

*Oh look! A strategically placed Big Gulp cup! Just like the Giant Fucking Miller Genuine Draft Logo from earlier!

*And now cops are doing illegal wiretapping in exchange for Lakers tickets. Because FUCK the constitution! :D

*"worker rats"? "MARSUPIALS"!? And they went ahead and said RAT PUSSY. Just wow. Who wrote this?

*AND THEN THEY ACTUALLY GO AHEAD AND SHOW THE RATS FUCKING. THIS MOVIE IS FROM FUCKING _MARS_!!!

*This really is the least-subtle wiretapping job ever.

*Damn. Josef got fucked UP.

*"Now, you, listen to me you Russian, punk. I! Me! Johnny Tapia! Will sever, your head off." That might be the most awkward line of dialogue I have ever heard.

*I have never before heard the word 'beasts' pronounced like 'pissts'.

*For a second, I thought the pest control van said 'priest control'. That'd be pretty cool, actually.

*Oh fuck. The villain has a comically oblivious mom too. ARRRRGH.

*Wow, from the two sets of cops trading racial jokes, straight to the villain saying 'BLACK putas'. This movie is more concerned with race than any I've ever seen.

*Oh! Gabrielle's character pops up again! I _literally_ had completely forgotten about her!

*'Hey, fuck the fact that our wire's illegal! It only means the entire case against this guy would be thrown out in real life! ESPECIALLY since they already mentioned how this guy likes to sue cops for wrongful arrest!!'

*"just dumb as a bucket of shrimp." I actually like that.

*No... Not more KKK shit. PLEASE, MOVIE, DON'T!!!

*And they just put the KKK guy in the trunk. Gee, do you think he's going to have a BETTER or WORSE view of African Americans after this incident?

*This movie's only 1:14 in and I feel like I've been watching it for days.

*"And then she had fish. It was grouper." Wow, that dialogue slammed into the floor with a wet thud. "I had chicken." OF COURSE HE DID. HE'S A BLACK MAN IN A MICHAEL BAY MOVIE.

*Movie, please stop saying 'woosaa'.

*Oh gee. They are taking the money to the mortuary. Could it be another car chase? Gasp of surprise!

*Hey look! Michael Bay shows up in a cameo and calls a black man a freak! Gee, do you think that *means* anything?

*Oh, no. The van is full of corpses. I remember what they did with the car carrier. PLEASE DON'T, MOVIE!!!

*Having already shown their faces to the bad guys, they then tail them so close the bad guys can look through the window and ID them. Which will lead to another deadly car chase. Will Smith's character is the WORST COP EVER.

*Things I have learned: Vans can drive through concrete pillars without losing speed or sustaining significant damage.

*I just realized: In this car chase, they KNOW where the van is going! They knew where the mortuary is. Why the fuck couldn't they have jus called in backup to meet the van when it arrives there!? Oh, right. Because then we couldn't have another car chase.

*You can tell Will Smith really enjoys filming car chase scenes.

*AND HERE COME THE FLYING CORPSES. GOD DAMN YOU, MOVIE.

*THEY HAVE A CORPSE FLY RIGHT AT THE CAMERA, AND THEN THE COPS RUN IT OVER AND ITS HEAD COMES OFF. In another movie, I might find this funny. Here, I know Bay is just doing this for shock value because that's all he has.

*Let's drive right into a bank, risking the lives of citizens and only not killing any by pure luck! And remember: this is all because of that eeeeevil drug ecstasy!!

*GIGANTIC PEPSI LOGO FOR NO REASON. THIS MOVIE IS A HUMONGOUS WHORE.

*Let's have a gunfight on a crowded train car, surrounded by terrified, screaming civilians! The police are PROTECTING THEM from those HARMFUL, EVIL DRUGS!

*WOW. Bad guy not only gets squished by train, but ELECTROCUTED first. Oh, and his corpse stops the train. Like how those concrete pillars stopped the van earlier. WHAT!? BTW, someone's going to have to hose corpse off of train wheels now.

*All of that property damage and death, and they get neither the drugs (or whatever was in that coffin) or any suspects. And I'll bet their boss yells at them sternly for this!

*Called it. He is sternly yelling at them, and the words he is using are not, "YOU'RE FIRED AND CHARGED WITH RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT."

*STOP WITH THE WOOSAA!!!

*I'm actually amazed they remembered to let KKK guy out of the trunk.

*With every completely valid criticism Marcus makes against Mike, I like him more. I AM LIKING A MARTIN LAWRENCE CHARACTER. BECAUSE HE IS BEING CALM AND LOGICAL. WHAT THE HELL PLANET AM I ON!?

*OVEREXAGGERATEDLY GOOFY YEARBOOK PHOTO CLICHE ALERT!!!

*Will, could you please stop calling that fifteen year old kid a nigger?

*Wow. That whole 'threatening Reggie' scene was one of the most awkwardly horrible anti-comedy moments I've ever sat through. And probably a BLAM, too. [Edit: called it.]

*WHY DID TERRORIZING A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD SUDDENLY MAKE THEM BEST FRIENDS AGAIN!? WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT!?!?!?!?

*Can't just call the latino guy a 'fuck'. No, they have to call him a 'latin fuck'. LET'S BRING UP RACE EVERY TWENTY SECONDS!!!

*Um, why are they setting up the tiny cameras where anyone walking by would see them instantly?

*Pepto Bismol mention! Rack up them product placements!

*Why are all the corpses fat white people? It's just kinda weird.

*Oh, I take it back. Now they have "bigass dead titties". NECROPHILIA, MOVIE? REALLY!?

*Gratuitous top-of-head-falling-off. Now, if this were a horror film, I wouldn't mind. But NOBODY who paid to see this movie expected THIS level of corpse-fucking-around-with.

*NO, MOVIE!! DO _NOT_ HAVE MARTIN LAWRENCE ACCIDENTALLY TAKE TWO ECSTASY TABLETS AND TURN INTO A RETARDED LUNATIC!!! I FORBID IT!!!

*Marcus hides under a sheet with the dead chick. And Mike TELLS HIM it's not smart. <facepalm>

*Oh, wait... No. They wouldn't. He just took two ecstasy pills and is under a sheet with the chick with the bigass dead titties. NO, MOVIE, NO!!!!!!!!

*I never thought I would see a movie where a cop was insisting that some other cops drive an ambulance into a mortuary. Michael Bay is so transparently a ten-year-old kid playing with cars in a sandbox.

*Aaaaand they actually drive the ambulance right through the building. DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY'D SAID EARLIER IF THIS WAS ANYTHING OTHER THAN A CLEAN B&E, THE SUSPECT WOULD WALK. [Edit: there are no repercussions to this action whatsoever.]

*WHEW!!! Astonishingly, they did not sink as far as I was sure they would and have Marcus make out with the dead chick. BUT JUDGING BY THE EDITING, WHAT DO YOU WANNA BET IT WAS EITHER IN THE SCRIPT OR THEY FILMED IT AND IT WAS CUT?

*Also, at 1:40, that car is incredibly gorgeous. But where the hell did it come from!?

*On the other hand, they did go with the cliche of the ecstasy completely destroying Marcus' sense of self and his intelligence. Thanks, movie. If he kisses Joe Pantoliano, I will throw things.

*THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL ECSTASY MAKES PEOPLE ACT LIKE THIS.

*I don't want to see Martin Lawrence's titty.

*ECSTASY DOES NOT MAKE YOU DRINK FLOWER VASE WATER, GODDAMMIT.

*The villain's mom actually asks in front of Gabrielle, "Is she a negro?" GODDAMMIT, MOVIE!!!

*Oh, there's Peter Stormare. I was wondering if his character had just vanished.

*Okay, the cops raid the mortuary and the corpses are gone. When before, they went on a retarded car chase, now they're doing exactly what I said they should do and calling in other cops to follow the van. Why Didn't They Do This The First Time!? Come on, it's not like it's really hard to write a motivation for a car chase scene.

*DAMN IT!!! The cops shot Peter Stormare. I was all geared up for him to go on a serious rampage and fuck up all of the villain's goons. Damn it!! It's like they completely forgot about his character, so they had to kind of shoehorn him in.

*A bunch of shots of helicopters flying around a speedboat. Not as exciting as Bay thinks it is.

*Also, what the hell happened to Henry Rollins? He literally disappeared after the first ten minutes or so. WTF?

*The guy in the boat had a gun, so Mike pulls back pursuit. Seriously, after all his insane, reckless shit, all of a sudden he becomes an intelligent cop and lets backup do the work it's supposed to!? I don't buy it.

*How exactly did that little boat have at least three coffins in it?

*Oh no! The villain has Marcus' sister/Mike's love interest kidnapped on a plane! (After somehow managing to escape from a house completely _surrounded_ by cops!) Will this lead to an action sequence?

*Oh, goddammit. The 360 degree pan "Shit just got real" scene. Really? The line itself isn't that bad, but you actually expect me to believe that's what he'd say after hearing his sister's been kidnapped? Show a little fucking emotion!!

*Oh, hey! There's Henry Rollins! ...From the back! ...For three seconds!

*Oh look! The wimpy skinny white guys are advocating diplomacy to handle the hostage situation! But the tough, manly black men will have none of that! SO ORIGINAL!!!

*Jesus... Is Martin Lawrence actually ACTING in this scene? Where he's on the desk looking like he's holding in tears!? THIS MOVIE HAS INVERTED THE UNIVERSE.

*Oh, and look! All the cops are banding together in support! With heroic music! Because the police (and the military) always know best!

*Aaaaaand here come some military guys. Okay, technically they're CIA. But Bay just can't stop himself from sucking the cock of anything in a fuckin' uniform.

*I feel like I have been watching this movie for years.

*So wait... There's this huge off-the-books military-aided rescue operation for Gabrielle, plus presumably to take out the villain, and they're collaborating with anti-Castro rebels... Isn't this amazingly illegal? I mean, usually when they have the good guys go outside the law to save the day, they do it on their own so it's a little more plausible.

*The villain has a huge portrait of himself as Jesus at the last supper. BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT. [Edit: called it.]

*Really, this movie has completely switched genres from buddy cop film to military-dick-suck-fest.

*Wait, did he just say "a bag of cats and iguanas"!?!? Yes, apparently he did. Apparently throwing cats and iguanas is an integral part of their plan. I mean, it does make sense to confuse the motion detectors. But iguanas don't move much! This is some severely surreal shit.

*Dammit, I know they're inevitably going to kill the villain guy. Why did they have to give him a daughter to make me feel bad about that?

*That pushcart just pooped out Wheelie from ROTF, I swear.

*The whole thing with the RC car with the cameras on it is just weird and implausible and video-gamey. Do they really expect someone five feet away to not HEAR that distinctive RC car sound!? (Oh, okay, it's a bomb. Still, it drove right past a fat guy without him seeing or hearing it.)

*And where the hell are Mike and Marcus? Isn't this their movie? It's all been military guy stuff for the past five minutes or so.

*Okay, the charmingly racist granny has a shotgun. And what if she didn't? Wouldn't the audience react a little harshly to the cop punching her in the face then? Wanna make it okay to hit someone in a movie? Have them act against character and make them a villain!

*He just shot that fat guy's legs out in front of that little girl. MICHAEL BAY, WHY IS SHE EVEN IN THIS MOVIE!?

*Was that Henry Rollins for literally less than a second? I couldn't tell.

*Man, this movie went from goofily over-the-top to dead fuckin' serious. It was not a comfortable transition.

*And now they're killing Cuban soldiers. Soldiers who are doing their duty to repel an unprovoked attack on their soil. Wow. Fuck you, movie.

*There's a giant gatling gun that is shot directly at Mike, Marcus and Gabrielle, missing all three completely. I know it happens in all action movies, but it's still stupid.

*So they blow up the villain's house. Did that little girl just die? And how many Cuban soldiers did too? Isn't this going to cause an international incident!?

*'Let's have a Hummer drive around through the house! SMASHY SMASHY HURR HURR HURR.'

*So their plan is to drive to an American naval base. And what? The Americans will just tell the Cuban soldiers to go home and forget about the Americans who attacked a private home on their soil? Yes, I know he's a drug dealer, but this movie has about as much respect for the spirit of the law as Nixon did. [Edit: AND FOR NO APPARENT REASON, THE CUBAN SOLDIERS WHO WERE CHASING THEM COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR AT THE CLIMAX!!!]

*Man, movie, you are just awful. You have them drive through village shacks, but it's okay because you had the script say they're making cocaine in there! "Look! Up ahead there's some property we might accidentally damage!" "It's okay, they're bad!"

*It's a good thing these are shacks where they make eeevil cocaine, because otherwise I'd worry that, driving straight through flimsy houses like that, they might be crushing innocent human beings.

*OH, AND THEY COMPLETELY STOLE THIS SCENE FROM A JACKIE CHAN MOVIE, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

*How strange! I see clotheslines and other signs of habitation. And people running away! Is it possible that they might have added that line about the cocaine shacks after realizing, "Oh wait, they're terrorizing innocent civilians on foreign soil." BUT IT'S OKAY!!! BECAUSE WE'RE SASSY BLACK AMERICANS!!!

*Oh my fucking god. They actually added angry villagers chasing the Hummer that just destroyed their village And I swear I saw a kid with a basketball. FUCK YOU, MOVIE. THE PROTAGONISTS ARE NOW OFFICIALLY SUPERVILLAINS.

*Their guns all ran out of bullets. And if it wasn't a dramatic plot point, it never would have happened.

*Also, did Tito just get shot in the hip ...while riding in the back seat of an SUV? I mean, the only way hm getting shot could make sense is if it happened before they got in the Hummer, which it didn't. WHAT!?

*Um, wouldn't the American soldiers have BLOWN THEM THE FUCK UP when they crashed through the gates at Guantanamo? It's not like they have terrorism suspects in there, which would lead to some pretty high security measures, I think.

*TWO GUYS WITH GUNS DRAWN GET OUT OF A HUMMER THAT JUST CRASHED THROUGH THE GATES OF A MILITARY BASE!!! WHY HAVEN'T THE SOLDIERS *WASTED* MIKE AND MARCUS BY NOW!?!?

*Now the Cubans are waving guns around. Why the fuck aren't the soldiers shooting anyone!?!?

*You know, that climax was so stupid, I'm actually pissed off the villain didn't win. AND YES, NOW HIS DAUGHTER HAS NO FATHER. THANKS, MOVIE!!!

*IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO KILL THE POOR BASTARD, THEY HAVE TO BLOW UP HIS CORPSE TOO!?!? WHAT THE FUUUUUCK!?

*Also, Will is standing right near him when the mine goes off, and he's fine? He doesn't even get showered with blood?

*<huge sigh> It's over. Oh, no, wait. It's still running even during the credits. Fuuuuuuuuck.

*I saw it coming just before it happened and i was like, 'No. Do not have the damn dog destroy this pool too. It's retarded. Pools are better made than that.' AND THEN THEY FUCKIN' DO IT ANYWAY!!!

*THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR THEM TO BE SINGING 'BAD BOYS' RIGHT NOW.

*There are not enough words in the English language to say all the bad things that deserve to be said about this movie. I regard Transformers and Transformers 2 as a single movie, so for something to be worse than them it has to be worse than over four hours of the shittiest filmmaking ever. THIS MOVIE IS WORSE. THIS IS THE MOST AWFUL, LEAST REDEEMING, SOULLESS, POINTLESSLY OFFENSIVE, PAINFULLY DUMB, FRIDGE-LOGIC-O-RAMA THAT HAS EVER BEEN MADE OR COULD EVER *BE* MADE. EEEEEEYAAAAAAAHHH!!!

*I just filled eight pages worth of nitpicks. ON A NINE-POINT FONT. <cries>

*Fuck the numbers: this movie has the longest running time of any movie ever made because it *feels* that way.

*Online, there are actually people who defend this movie and say they love it. Every single one of them should be deported. I am serious.

*OMFG, I just realized: Peter Stormare's character had a wife and a little son too. So that's TWO children crying because their daddies are dead. GODDAMMIT, MOVIE! DO NOT GIVE VILLAINS FAMILIAL ATTACHMENTS!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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First in pool
"I Love Having My Beliefs Challenged"
In my Transformers Dark Of The Moon review, I mentioned that Bad Boys 2 is the worst movie ever made. And you people didn't believe me. So you have only yourselves to blame for this.

Last year I watched this film and took notes as various thoughts and criticisms occurred to me. This is the record of my descent into the deepest pits of inhuman torment imaginable.


BTW, in case any of you don't know what a Big Lipped Alligator Moment is...

Keywords
male 631,281, human 45,848, shit 1,902, movie 1,401, review 142, offensive 13, michael bay 5, bad boys ii 1, bad boys 2 1
Details
Type: Writing - Document
Published: 7 years, 3 months ago
Rating: General

MD5 Hash for Page 1... Show Find Identical Posts [?]
Stats
264 views
4 favorites
86 comments

BBCode Tags Show [?]
 
Humbug
7 years, 3 months ago
i like the part were u go crzy

But yeah. Sounds like a blast. I think everyone should go out and buy it, giving Michael Bay lots of money. :)
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
Humbug
7 years, 3 months ago
Excellent! :D
ProjectDemise
7 years, 3 months ago
Makes the movie sound godawful.  Glad I don't watch many.  Based on your descriptions I'd never watch a movie again afterward...
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
Actually, it made me want to watch good movies immediately, to get the taste out of my mouth.
ProjectDemise
7 years, 3 months ago
Talking like that makes me want to throw Demolition Man in.  It's not a great movie, but it's pretty funny.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
Agreed! That one's fun as heck. I love the bit where he swears to get toilet paper.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
I just had to watch that little bit again, and youtube to the rescue!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz4HEEiJuGo
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
Gawd, I need to see that movie again. I always forget how not-dumb it turned out to be, in that a lot of the ultra-wimpy, prudish, nanny-state bullshit we see on the news now could have come straight out of this movie.

"Ah, smoking is not good for you, and it's been deemed that anything not good for you is bad; hence, illegal. Alcohol, caffeine, contact sports, meat... bad language, chocolate, gasoline, uneducational toys and anything spicy. Abortion is also illegal, but then again so is pregnancy if you don't have a licence."

That's... genuinely frightening.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>Gawd, I need to see that movie again. I always forget how not-dumb it turned out to be, in that a lot of the ultra-wimpy, prudish, nanny-state bullshit we see on the news now could have come straight out of this movie.

"Ah, smoking is not good for you, and it's been deemed that anything not good for you is bad; hence, illegal. Alcohol, caffeine, contact sports, meat... bad language, chocolate, gasoline, uneducational toys and anything spicy. Abortion is also illegal, but then again so is pregnancy if you don't have a licence."

That's... genuinely frightening.

How close that is to being believable? Yeah, that's more than a little worrisome there how close it seems society is sometimes to considering anything that is, or even could be bad for you as wrong, as though taking risks, even on purpose, was always a bad thing.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>as though taking risks, even on purpose, was always a bad thing.

Oh gawd, you nailed it. Right there. That is the attitude, perfectly summarized.

I can't express how much I hate that attitude. As if risk isn't involved in every aspect of life. As if perfect safety is an attainable goal. I understand why some people prefer safety over freedom or experience, but I'd sooner die than be like that.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>I can't express how much I hate that attitude. As if risk isn't involved in every aspect of life. As if perfect safety is an attainable goal. I understand why some people prefer safety over freedom or experience, but I'd sooner die than be like that.

Yeah, I'd have to agree there, 'perfect safety' isn't just something that won't ever happen, what you'd have to trade(freedoms of all
sorts) in return for even getting close would make it something I, and any rational person, wouldn't even consider wanting.

And for a not-so-serious reason, even if you could attain perfect safety like that without loosing a ton of freedoms, think of how utterly boring a life like that would be. That alone would make it a no-go for me, even without the bigger reasons.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>Yeah, I'd have to agree there, 'perfect safety' isn't just something that won't ever happen, what you'd have to trade(freedoms of all sorts) in return for even getting close would make it something I, and any rational person, wouldn't even consider wanting.

Not to mention that many people's idea of 'safety' includes freedom from insults or conflicting beliefs. So you'd basically never have a chance to get any smarter.

>And for a not-so-serious reason, even if you could attain perfect safety like that without loosing a ton of freedoms, think of how utterly boring a life like that would be. That alone would make it a no-go for me, even without the bigger reasons.

I dunno; Bartleby's Hell is technically perfect safety, in the sense that you don't have to worry about any permanent damage. But pain still exists, physical and mental, to keep things from getting stagnant.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>Not to mention that many people's idea of 'safety' includes freedom from insults or conflicting beliefs. So you'd basically never have a chance to get any smarter.

Perhaps, but then again, anyone who is threatened by insults or conflicting beliefs probably isn't going to get any smarter anyway...

>I dunno; Bartleby's Hell is technically perfect safety, in the sense that you don't have to worry about any permanent damage. But pain still exists, physical and mental, to keep things from getting stagnant.

Hmm, so it could happen, it just takes a very interesting world to happen in. Still, you're right in that sense, perfect safety doesn't automatically mean boring, which is a good thought to have.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>Hmm, so it could happen, it just takes a very interesting world to happen in. Still, you're right in that sense, perfect safety doesn't automatically mean boring, which is a good thought to have.

Even then, it's still not 'perfect' safety, as definied by the people who'd actually want such a thing. Hell certainly doesn't shield you from other people's kinks and viewpoints.

Actually, there's an idea to explore: areas in Hell where everyone has exactly the same views on everything. I wonder what the outcome of that would be? I'm guessing they'd eventually find something to disagree on and start beating each other up. I think, for a lot of people like this, it's not enough for them to feel like they're right, they have to prove it to everyone else.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>Actually, there's an idea to explore: areas in Hell where everyone has exactly the same views on everything. I wonder what the outcome of that would be? I'm guessing they'd eventually find something to disagree on and start beating each other up. I think, for a lot of people like this, it's not enough for them to feel like they're right, they have to prove it to everyone else.

I think you're right on that one, it probably would come down to a 'contest' as to which one was 'more pure' or 'more righteous'. I was reading an essay that had the history of a few religions in it, and it seemed that whenever they didn't have an outside thing to focus on, they almost always ended up splitting/fighting over a difference in opinion on who had the 'correct' interpretation on their moldy holy book.

To the surprise of no one, it would seem that people like that tend to be just a tad arrogant, and arrogant people don't do well with others like them for any good period of time.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>whenever they didn't have an outside thing to focus on, they almost always ended up splitting/fighting over a difference in opinion on who had the 'correct' interpretation on their moldy holy book.

Witness the inexpressible stupidity of Irish Catholics and Protestants murdering each other over literally nothing for decades. Or all the fighting between Jews, Christians and Muslims, when their holy books are all copies of each other for fuck's sakes!!

>To the surprise of no one, it would seem that people like that tend to be just a tad arrogant, and arrogant people don't do well with others like them for any good period of time.


Probably the only way they'd ever be happy is if you put them in a little bubble where they could live out a VR fantasy of them getting everything they want forever...
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>Witness the inexpressible stupidity of Irish Catholics and Protestants murdering each other over literally nothing for decades. Or all the fighting between Jews, Christians and Muslims, when their holy books are all copies of each other for fuck's sakes!!

Or how about the massive fighting over 'the holy land', where the goal seems to be to see who can kill more people in the name of their god over a chunk of dirt?! I'd say that something like that would totally piss off jesus(as in the guy they all seem to revere, and the whole reason the place is 'holy' in the first place), assuming the nuts were right and the whole apocalypse thing happened, but from what I've gathered, revelations era jesus would just be pissed that they got a head start on the killing without him...

>Probably the only way they'd ever be happy is if you put them in a little bubble where they could live out a VR fantasy of them getting everything they want forever...

Hmm, to a degree I suppose, but it seems that far too many of them actually thrive on persecution, real or imagined, treating it as though people disagreeing with them validates their beliefs in some totally whacked out way. Although given how deep such a 'need' is in them, in a VR environment they'd probably end up creating someone to belittle and mock them, just to satisfy that particular urge of theirs, so I suppose that would work.
ProjectDemise
7 years, 3 months ago
I like John Spartan's battle with the Scraps outside Taco Bell, especially the part when he tells Huxley "Hurting people's not a good thing.  Well, sometimes it is..."
drakiskier
7 years, 3 months ago
i read about three pages of this review and couldnt read any more...
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
My writing or what I was describing?
drakiskier
7 years, 3 months ago
what you were describing.

you know your writing is awesome
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
Tee hee! Thanks, I just get insecure now and then. ;)
Shuyo
7 years, 3 months ago
Oh god I love you so much

You should do reviews like these more often. Even for good movies, with compliments rather than nitpicks.

...by the way, I have a dare for you that involves terrible movies.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>You should do reviews like these more often.

This totally wasn't planned. I wish now that I'd included timestamps for each comment.

>Even for good movies, with compliments rather than nitpicks.

Maybe. I usually have less to say about a good movie though, as I'm more focused on watching it than ripping on it.

>...by the way, I have a dare for you that involves terrible movies.

Lay it on me. I never back away from a trainwreck. :)
Shuyo
7 years, 3 months ago
>This totally wasn't planned. I wish now that I'd included timestamps for each comment.

It was amusing nonetheless.

>Maybe. I usually have less to say about a good movie though, as I'm more focused on watching it than ripping on it.

I see, I see.

>Lay it on me. I never back away from a trainwreck. :)

I dare you to watch all 5 "Fast and Furious" movies, back-to-back.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>I dare you to watch all 5 "Fast and Furious" movies, back-to-back.

You're a little too late for that. I actually watched three of them pretty close to each other last month.

The first one had very good direction and far more character development than a film of its kind would usually have. The last scene with the train was classic.
Saw the second one when it first came out. Don't remember it, except they crashed a car into a boat for their big finale. <yawn>
Didn't bother with the third one.
Fourth one had a crazy-as-hell opening that got me all excited, and the rest was just... There were plot developments, but I didn't care.
The fifth one was somehow perfect. It looked like they had a ton of fun making it. Action scenes were great and it was fun seeing pretty much everyone from all four movies together, plus The Rock. Fast Five is the movie that Michael Bay thinks he's making.
Shuyo
7 years, 3 months ago
I really enjoyed the last one, if only because Dwayne Johnson finally got his balls back from the Disney corporation for a bit.

Actually, I enjoyed all of them, because what self-respecting action movie fan doesn't go for a bit of car porn?
Shuyo
7 years, 3 months ago
>Saw the second one when it first came out. Don't remember it, except they crashed a car into a boat for their big finale. <yawn>

What, you don't remember EJECTO SEAT-O?
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>I really enjoyed the last one, if only because Dwayne Johnson finally got his balls back from the Disney corporation for a bit.

Yeah. I just wish his fistfight with Vin could have been a bit more epic. They did fine, but the direction didn't quite convey 'clash of the gods'.

>What, you don't remember EJECTO SEAT-O?

Nope. Actually, I do remember liking Ludacris, but Tyrese Gibson and Paul Walker are nothing without Vin.
Shuyo
7 years, 3 months ago
The bit with the socket wrench freaked me out, but I knew they wouldn't kill him off.

The thing with the bank vault blew my mind, though. I thought that was just a random garbage truck!

They did go a little Michael Bay with that final chase scene in terms of "complete disregard for civilian casualties", and the fact that they killed about 50 Brazilian police officers.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>The thing with the bank vault blew my mind, though. I thought that was just a random garbage truck!

YES. That was a masterpiece of misdirection. I was completely fooled. Golly, I love it when I underestimate a movie's intelligence and it ends up surprising me!

>They did go a little Michael Bay with that final chase scene in terms of "complete disregard for civilian casualties", and the fact that they killed about 50 Brazilian police officers.

True, although Dom and his crew are criminals, not cops. With criminals, such behavior is expected. Cops should know better.

Also:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, George looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
Shuyo
7 years, 3 months ago
>YES. That was a masterpiece of misdirection. I was completely fooled. Golly, I love it when I underestimate a movie's intelligence and it ends up surprising me!

I also liked how this one didn't have so many THINGS EXPLODING FOR NO REASON as the previous ones.

>True, although Dom and his crew are criminals, not cops. With criminals, such behavior is expected. Cops should know better.

Although they seem to be the type of criminals that have some type of average decency when it comes to civilians.


Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, George looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"


So old, but still, so funny.

Hmm...

Oh, by the way - if you're looking for something to watch in your down-time, I'd suggest Salt. It's your standard 'betrayed spy' action flick, but hohmahgawd, I didn't see any of the plot twists coming at all. Also Angelina Jolie doesn't look like a meth-head for once.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>I also liked how this one didn't have so many THINGS EXPLODING FOR NO REASON as the previous ones.

The opening scene of the fourth one has one of my all-time favorite "NO FUCKING WAY" moments; Dom driving under a rolling, flaming gas truck. That deserves to be up there with nuking the fridge.

>Oh, by the way - if you're looking for something to watch in your down-time, I'd suggest Salt. It's your standard 'betrayed spy' action flick, but hohmahgawd, I didn't see any of the plot twists coming at all. Also Angelina Jolie doesn't look like a meth-head for once.

I heard a lot of conflicting stuff about that one, but I might give it a try. Source Code was stunningly smart with a lot of mindfuckery. Hanna was also extremely good; an average script elevated to amazing levels by directing, acting and soundtrack.
Shuyo
7 years, 3 months ago
>That deserves to be up there with nuking the fridge.

Is that the new "jumping the shark"?

>I heard a lot of conflicting stuff about that one, but I might give it a try. Source Code was stunningly smart with a lot of mindfuckery. Hanna was also extremely good; an average script elevated to amazing levels by directing, acting and soundtrack.

Haven't seen Hanna yet. What was it about? And did you see Sucker Punch?

On a completely unrelated note, why is it that there's always one incredibly hot girl in every 80's teen movie?

I mean...Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club. *drool*
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>Is that the new "jumping the shark"?

Sort of.

>Haven't seen Hanna yet. What was it about?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanna_%28film%29

>And did you see Sucker Punch?

Not until the director's cut version comes out. I heard he was forced to neuter it into a PG13.

>On a completely unrelated note, why is it that there's always one incredibly hot girl in every 80's teen movie?

I thought 80s movies were usually stocked with nothing but hot girls. And the occasional ugly one for comedic purposes.
Shuyo
7 years, 3 months ago
>I thought 80s movies were usually stocked with nothing but hot girls. And the occasional ugly one for comedic purposes.

Hah. Well, Marcia Gay Harden wasn't exactly pretty, but she wasn't exactly ugly.

Also, her name is sort of an oxymoron. Gay Harden, but she's a woman? Teehee.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
<eyeroll, then chuckle>
ZephonTsol
7 years, 3 months ago
F&F3 was...decent. Had an interesting story that had *absolutely* nothing to do with Paul Walker or Vin Diesel. VD shows up right at the end in his sweet Camaro for a bit of a drag race with the protagonist, but other than that, it's a standalone movie and, as such, does pretty well on its own. Also mostly takes place in Tokyo so we get some rather interesting cultural bits if you're willing to see them. One in particular, the Japanese's longstanding attitude of Americans being cowboys, comes into play.

Also, there is a van in the shape of the Incredible Hulk, complete with muscles and purple brush hair above the windshield. It's worth seeing sheerly for that alone.

Lastly, the thing I really enjoyed about the movie was that they got away from 'Speed=Win'. The movie's mostly about drifting and there's a real sense of...intelligence needed to be able to do it right. I'd suggest it if for no other reason than it does stand alone and apart from the other "AMURICAN MUSCLE UNF UNF GO FAST" movies it came from.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>F&F3 was...decent. Had an interesting story that had *absolutely* nothing to do with Paul Walker or Vin Diesel.

Part of why I haven't seen that was knowing that one of the characters I ended up liking in 4 and 5 gets killed in 3, so that kinda sucks. :/

>VD shows up right at the end

<giggle giggle giggle>

>Also, there is a van in the shape of the Incredible Hulk, complete with muscles and purple brush hair above the windshield. It's worth seeing sheerly for that alone.

<blink> Okay, yeah, I do kinda wanna see that...

>Lastly, the thing I really enjoyed about the movie was that they got away from 'Speed=Win'. The movie's mostly about drifting and there's a real sense of...intelligence needed to be able to do it right. I'd suggest it if for no other reason than it does stand alone and apart from the other "AMURICAN MUSCLE UNF UNF GO FAST" movies it came from.

Allright, allright. You've piqued my interest. I'll put it in my queue.
Alfador
7 years, 3 months ago
Ugh... After just a few pages of this I knew I would never want to watch that movie. And then it went on. And on. AND ON. @_@
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
Yep. I swear, this movie felt like it was about eight hours long.
ZephonTsol
7 years, 3 months ago
As you were reading this, I could see where you were in the movie. And yep, it happens pretty much as you said it.

Admittedly, the only times I ever really watched it were on the FREE HBO my dorm gave me back in college...and at 3 am when I didn't really care or give a damn what I was watching...and I still tried to find something else. I really wasn't surprised Martin Lawrence did this movie, but Will Smith DID surprise me that he'd be back after the first.

Still doesn't top National Security as the worst Martin Lawrence movie ever made. It'd only be worse if Bay had made that one, but he didn't. In that one, Martin Lawrence gets to be a blight on society by being the kind of black guy who uses the phrase 'racial profiling' as an everyday term instead of with a lot of hesitation and evidence.

To wit, a singular plot point is that a cop is put behind bars in Maximum Security because on a video it looks like he beat up Lawrence's character with a flyswatter when he was trying to fend off a bee that Lawrence ASKED him to get off. But then, with his face all puffy, Lawrence makes it out to be a "white cop beats black man" sob story that everyone believes and no one checks on.

By the end of the movie, the two are best chums.

I wanted to assassinate Lawrence to get him off the face of the world. I DARE you to watch that and not hate him.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>Admittedly, the only times I ever really watched it were on the FREE HBO my dorm gave me back in college...and at 3 am when I didn't really care or give a damn what I was watching...

That'd be interesting; trying to make sense of this movie while half-asleep. I can only imagine.

>but Will Smith DID surprise me that he'd be back after the first.

Yeah. I highly doubt he'll lower himself to doing a third.

>By the end of the movie, the two are best chums.

<facepalm that echoes forever>

>I wanted to assassinate Lawrence to get him off the face of the world. I DARE you to watch that and not hate him.

I don't think I can. I'll watch terrible movies for fun, but I try to stay away from ones that will infuriate me. For instance, I can't imagine ever watching An American Carol unless I was paid a large chunk of money.
ZephonTsol
7 years, 3 months ago
Not much to imagine. You know how your brain goes slower and more...cavemanish the longer you're awake? Imagine watching this movie after being up for nearly 20 hours. Still didn't make sense and I'd have been better served getting more intellectuality from kicking a puppy.

I can't be certain, but I could swear I heard somewhere that Smith refuses to even discuss BB2. He's done bad media before but that would be saying something were that to be confirmed.

><facepalm that echoes forever>

Somehow, that's not the horrible part. The horrible part is that Lawrence's character has a humongous machine pistol that no one in their right mind would allow someone to have. Not only does he get to still keep it at the end of the movie, he's made a cop specifically so he CAN have it.

Oh, and that whole 'beating-a-black-man-misunderstanding" thing? Never cleared up or apologized for. In fact, later on, he does it again and everyone, knowing his pedigree, STILL BELIEVES HIM.

Should've just called the movie "Martin Lawrence Pees On Martin Luther King Jr's Grave For 100 Minutes". That would've been more accurate.

Oh yeah. This movie was also on HBO. Alongside other good programming, they showed this movie. I'm glad I don't watch HBO anymore. God only knows I'd probably be exposed to Justin Bieber constantly or something...
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>I can't be certain, but I could swear I heard somewhere that Smith refuses to even discuss BB2. He's done bad media before but that would be saying something were that to be confirmed.

Oooo, I wanna go bug him about it now. "What was it like repeatedly calling a terrified 15-year-old boy a word which has caused your people shame and pain for centuries, Mr. Smith? Would you let your daughter watch this movie?" Oh, I am a bastard.

>Somehow, that's not the horrible part. The horrible part is that Lawrence's character has a humongous machine pistol that no one in their right mind would allow someone to have. Not only does he get to still keep it at the end of the movie, he's made a cop specifically so he CAN have it.

...does not compute.

>Oh, and that whole 'beating-a-black-man-misunderstanding" thing? Never cleared up or apologized for. In fact, later on, he does it again and everyone, knowing his pedigree, STILL BELIEVES HIM.

That could actually be interpreted as satire on our culture's current feelings towards racism. But it's probably just stupidity.

>Should've just called the movie "Martin Lawrence Pees On Martin Luther King Jr's Grave For 100 Minutes". That would've been more accurate.

LMFAO!!!

>Oh yeah. This movie was also on HBO. Alongside other good programming, they showed this movie. I'm glad I don't watch HBO anymore. God only knows I'd probably be exposed to Justin Bieber constantly or something...

I actually saw a really impressive review of the Justin Bieber movie recently. The guy (who happens to be Colin Mochrie's son!) does a very good job of ignoring the hype and reviewing the movie for what it is. He's one of the most even-handed film critics I've ever seen, and possibly my new favorite. Plus, he totally convinced me to see My Soul To Take.
ZephonTsol
7 years, 3 months ago
Okay, this was...grating to get through, but I did watch that review of the movie. Taking a step back, yeah, the movie does it's job as a documentary. Hell, I remember my sister having a New Kids On The Block video and watching it practically every Saturday. I even kind of liked them back then. But their music doesn't hold water much now because of the changing times.

Luke starts gushing a bit during the review which really set my teeth on edge. He said Bieber was talented, which I can let him have. You have to be, really. But by no means is his pitch perfect. And yes, I've seen him play instruments *functionally*, but again, that's just being a jack-of-all-trades; good at everything, truly impressive at none. For my money's worth, give me Lars Ulrich as a drummer (AND ONLY THAT) and that's how you drum. Kirk Hammett is amazing as a guitarist, but doesn't try to sing much past backups. Bieber trying to do everything he can is not really impressive so much as it's sentimental of a little kid going 'Look what I can do!" (think MadTV's Stuart).

My hatred for Bieber is...irrational at most times because I spent JUST as much time in my childhood learning music. I've been doing it for far longer and hell fucking YES I am jealous of his sheer boggling *luck* at being pulled from the Internet to be a face for the new tweenies. I went through college AND the Army to refine my skill to perfection. With all that touring, one really wonders just how much time he really practices. Again, I wouldn't know because I just can't bring myself to watch the movie. It would hurt because it would be an unintentional "fuck you, Zephie, I'm famous because I was lucky". It would be...painful beyond any measure I can describe.

Yes he has skill. Yes he can go up on stage and perform. YES, his music is for a different generation. He is by no means equivalent to Michael Jackson. He sings what's put before him and the crap they dredge up is awful. Hell, one of his songs has been remixed nearly half a dozen times and it's still selling out more than good artists do. Luke's review comes from the eyes of someone not jaded and, well, good for him. He makes a valid point: hate Bieber for what he is, not for what he is not. But that's just it. I *do* hate him for what he is. And I have no shame in that because I'm not alone in doing it. We ALL get irrationally burned at those way more fortunate (and less skilled) than us.

He's a *functional* performer with decent singing chops and okay instrumental skill. But he's not a savant by any stretch of the term. He's got some stage presence, but is mostly just like Cena: a merch-mover. He's a face that will disappear in five years time from mainstream, just like Christina Aguilera, NSYNC, 98 Degrees, and many other performers of varying skill. However, I'll be very glad to see him go. Because he's just...too damned lucky and doesn't have nearly enough to show for it.

I'm sorry, but I had to let that out or I would've exploded into chunky bits.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>Taking a step back, yeah, the movie does it's job as a documentary.

And that's what a reviewer should do: review the movie. Not anything else but the movie. I've seen some reviews in the Metrotimes where the pretentiousness was off the scale. The critic didn't even start talking about the film itself until two-thirds in; instead padding it out with commentary on the director's oeuvre, the current state of pop culture, their personal observations, or some other shit.

>Luke starts gushing a bit during the review which really set my teeth on edge. He said Bieber was talented, which I can let him have. You have to be, really. But by no means is his pitch perfect. And yes, I've seen him play instruments *functionally*, but again, that's just being a jack-of-all-trades; good at everything, truly impressive at none.

I imagine a trained musician like you can hear things the general public can't. Plus, mediocrity has such a stranglehold on pop music that 'merely competent' sounds like 'the next fucking Mozart' to a lot of people.

>For my money's worth, give me Lars Ulrich as a drummer (AND ONLY THAT) and that's how you drum.

Frank Zappa did a concert film called Baby Snakes. In it, you can watch drummer Terry Bozzio ascend to Godhood in the solo for Disco Boy.

>Bieber trying to do everything he can is not really impressive so much as it's sentimental of a little kid going 'Look what I can do!" (think MadTV's Stuart).

LOL!! Good point. He's kind of a Dancing Bear, isn't he?

>My hatred for Bieber is...irrational at most times because I spent JUST as much time in my childhood learning music. I've been doing it for far longer and hell fucking YES I am jealous of his sheer boggling *luck* at being pulled from the Internet to be a face for the new tweenies.

But would you not agree that you don't actually hate Bieber himself? Like most people, you hate what he represents: the unfairness of "the machine" that makes musicians famous based on appearance first and musicianship second. Justin Bieber's literally a tool. He's no different than what David Cassidy was back in the 70s. There's a reason I've never said anything about him online. I don't hate him, because he's just a kid and none of his popularity has anything to do with him. He's just the latest in a neverending string of cute guys for teenage girls to scream about and throw money at. They'll always exist because they rake in cash, so there's no reason to hate Bieber any more or less than any of the rest of them.

>I'm sorry, but I had to let that out or I would've exploded into chunky bits.

Perfectly understandable. I can't even imagine how it must feel to have worked your ass off at a skill, then see someone handsomer than you with less talent get all the fame and fortune. On the other hand, you can content yourself with the knowledge that, within ten years he'll be bankrupt, in jail, on drugs, or playing state fairs for the rest of his life. ;)
ZephonTsol
7 years, 3 months ago
Exactly. He's a functional *face*, not a musician. Musicians are actual performers. Whether you love them or hate them, Hoobastank and Disturbed do good music. Metallica (when they did their Black and Re-Load albums) did good *music*. Bieber is the musical equivalent of WWE's John Cena. He sells merchandise. He sells his face. In a way, I kind of feel sorry for him...

...until I see those videos where he *encourages* his fans to keep supporting him. He's not trying to better his position of being a merch seller...and that's the thing that gets me. I don't really hate the boy himself for any other reason than because he refuses to actually be a better musician rather than being the same old tired act that we've all seen in our youths. I would feel bad about him being relegated to state fairs, but that's tempered by the fact that right now, he revels in it. Unintentionally, he rubs it in my and my musician friends' faces. I feel no pity for him unless he makes the monumental effort to better his talent past this garbage he cranks out.

And for Zel's sake, GET A GODDAMNED HAIRCUT, YOU MOPTOP. Looks like a haystack threw up on him. He'd be sooooo much more believable with shorter hair, maybe spiked a bit. That ragamuffin haircut is so fucking unprofessional to me. I think most people hate him for that alone. Silly as it is, a bad haircut can really change people's attitudes.

Once again, I hate the kid's image. Can't really hate him for anything more than his youthful ignorance of reality that will come crashing in once he stops being 'a dreamboat'.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>Whether you love them or hate them, Hoobastank and Disturbed do good music.

Disturbed I'll agree with, but Hoobastank? I tried to listen to one of their albums and everything just blended together; all I could hear was 'loud'. <shrug>

>In a way, I kind of feel sorry for him...

Same here. He's inevitably gonna fall out of fame so hard you'll hear the bones break across the continent.

Also, I listened to his mega-hit Baby. It's saccharine, of course, but it illustrates something I'm sick of seeing in music: Songs where they couldn't be bothered to write a refrain. How freakin' hard is it to write four lines that rhyme instead of just repeating the title a bunch of times!?

The worst offender might be Womanizer by Brittany Spears:
"Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer,
Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer, baby
You you you are, you you you are
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer (womanizer)"

FUCKING KILL ME NOW.

>Unintentionally, he rubs it in my and my musician friends' faces. I feel no pity for him unless he makes the monumental effort to better his talent past this garbage he cranks out.

Someone whose popularity is based mostly on luck and looks, coasting on the bare minimum of effort while grinning the whole time? Hm, sounds like George W..

>And for Zel's sake, GET A GODDAMNED HAIRCUT, YOU MOPTOP. Looks like a haystack threw up on him.

LOL. On the other hand, when you're rich enough you can flaunt your bad hair all you want. *coughTrumpcough*
KichigaiKitsune
7 years, 3 months ago
I don't want to butt into a private conversation, but I would just like to say that Bieber is merely an example of how the music industry (and many others) works. Granted, a lot of pop singers are immensely talented, but as I'm sure you know, there is a vast army of sublimely skilled musicians and such out there, making no money and having no fame.

Not a musician myself, but I know several who are genuinely skilled, but are simply ignored. It's not even because they'd be hard to market; the big boys in suits just don't want to pay any attention. As for Bieber, there are countless talented children out there, many better than he is. He wasn't even picked because his face was "marketable" or anything like that - it was simply a matter of someone feeling in the right mood at the right time and clicking the right YouTube video.

It's no joke that you need talent, hours of effort and sheer luck to get a break of any kind. Period. Even the most talented and popular singers and actors out there were lucky enough to have the contacts to achieve fame. The vast majority of people with talent are completely ignored. The ones without talent are still catapulted to fame if the producers think they look good enough.

In other words, don't feel bad. As a skilled, competent artist with absolutely no recognition or fortunes to show for it, you're in good company.

Also, Bieber is a colossal idiot on top of it all.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
Holy crap, that was almost painful to read the play-by-play, I can't believe you managed to sit through that entire movie.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but just going off the description of the movie, it sounds just a tad like the 'good guys' caused far more suffering, death and outright ruination of lives than the 'horrible drug' they were trying to get off the street Ever could. Pulling that sort of stuff for heroin, or cocaine, or some super addictive, designer drug I could buy, but all that for ecstasy?!
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>I can't believe you managed to sit through that entire movie.

I have superhuman tolerances for crap.

>Pulling that sort of stuff for heroin, or cocaine, or some super addictive, designer drug I could buy, but all that for ecstasy?!

EXACTLY. In fact, this movie is really all the argument you need for why The War On Drugs is an immoral failure. Because in real life, innocent people really do lose their lives because our government thinks it can stop people using drugs by force. This film shows just how deeply the propaganda has cemented itself in our minds: Drugs are so bad that they make murder acceptable. That's insanity.

Wanna read something that's as evil as anything that happened in the movie?
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>I have superhuman tolerances for crap.

And it serves you quite well, both in sitting through a wreck like that movie, and dealing with trolls and their kind. A very good quality to have on the internet.

>EXACTLY. In fact, this movie is really all the argument you need for why The War On Drugs is an immoral failure. Because in real life, innocent people really do lose their lives because our government thinks it can stop people using drugs by force. This film shows just how deeply the propaganda has cemented itself in our minds: Drugs are so bad that they make murder acceptable. That's insanity.

Indeed,. Why just consider, people might get addicted to them, and we can't have that, so we're just going to have to kill or jail them, that's oh so much better!(now if you'll excuse me, I'll be slamming my head against the wall to try and get the stupid out after typing that)

>Wanna read something that's as evil as anything that happened in the movie?

Jeesh, I am so freakin' jaded. I read that, and it didn't even really surprise me.
Was it absolutely abhorrent? Oh hell yes.
Was it murder on a scale that would qualify as a war crime, or whatever the peace-time equivalent is? Also hell yes.
Could I see the same people who thought that outlawing alcohol would actually stop people from drinking it, thinking that doing that would work? Sadly, also yes.

I wonder how the fatalities caused by the government would stack up against those caused by the 'bad guys/criminals' during that period? I have a feeling that that single act of the government's had to have pushed them into 'first place' in such a contest.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>And it serves you quite well, both in sitting through a wreck like that movie, and dealing with trolls and their kind. A very good quality to have on the internet.

It takes time to develop. Like a callus. :/

>Indeed,. Why just consider, people might get addicted to them, and we can't have that, so we're just going to have to kill or jail them, that's oh so much better!(now if you'll excuse me, I'll be slamming my head against the wall to try and get the stupid out after typing that)

And of course, jailtime makes so much more sense than rehab for curing drug addiction. <facepalm>
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>It takes time to develop. Like a callus. :/

Well both are natural defenses the body/mind come up with to deal with irritations, so yeah, comparing the skill to developing calluses is pretty much spot on.

>And of course, jailtime makes so much more sense than rehab for curing drug addiction. <facepalm>

Well of course it does! After all, if you throw someone in jail, you can just forget about them, they're the inmates/guards' problem now. With rehab though, there's all the meetings, and drug testing, and all that stuff. It's just far too much work, not to mention people don't care about reform, they want to see punishment for people's crimes!(I'm going to have one hell of a hole in my wall if I keep having to knock the stupidity from statements like this out...)

Yeah, when you think about it, jail time for almost any non-violent crime is seriously counter-productive at best. I mean, you're basically taking someone who was a non-violent lawbreaker, and throwing him in an environment where any form of pacifism is severely punished and unhealthy to have. If they weren't prone to violence or acts of non-socially acceptable behavior before they were thrown to the wolves like that, I can all but guarantee they will be after...

And people wonder why the recidivism rate(I think I'm using the word correctly here) for criminals is so high in the country...
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>It's just far too much work

...and that's the core of it. It's too much work to help people, and far easier to just dehumanize them and forget they exist.

God damn, I wish I was in power and could fix all this evil bullshit... <headdesk>
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>...and that's the core of it. It's too much work to help people, and far easier to just dehumanize them and forget they exist.

I really wish I could think of another possible reason for crap like that, but the only other thing that comes to mind isn't really any better, being simply 'The public would rather see people punished than reformed'. Massive stupidity in either case really...

>God damn, I wish I was in power and could fix all this evil bullshit... <headdesk>

Well if it's any consolation, I'd totally vote for you as 'Tyrant of the world' or whatever you chose your title to be. Hell the sound of countless cranial explosions brought about when people realized you wouldn't allow stupid stuff to continue on just because 'that's the way it's always been' would be well worth it on it's own.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>'The public would rather see people punished than reformed'.

That's sadly true, and not really hard to understand. Vengeance provides an instant, intense emotional reaction. Compassion, not so much. Unfortunately, humans still instinctually care more about short-term gain than long-term consequences.

>Well if it's any consolation, I'd totally vote for you as 'Tyrant of the world' or whatever you chose your title to be. Hell the sound of countless cranial explosions brought about when people realized you wouldn't allow stupid stuff to continue on just because 'that's the way it's always been' would be well worth it on it's own.

I'd have to be some sort of emperor, because yeah, there's stuff I'd do that people would instinctually oppose with all their might, but I'd do it anyway because it's good for them. Sometimes you have to force the kid to eat their damn vegetables.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>That's sadly true, and not really hard to understand. Vengeance provides an instant, intense emotional reaction. Compassion, not so much. Unfortunately, humans still instinctually care more about short-term gain than long-term consequences.

I honestly hadn't thought of it that way before, but you make a good point on why such thinking may be 'natural' to people. Still incredibly stupid, and a very good case of when people should go against their nature, but still understandable in a way.

>I'd have to be some sort of emperor, because yeah, there's stuff I'd do that people would instinctually oppose with all their might, but I'd do it anyway because it's good for them. Sometimes you have to force the kid to eat their damn vegetables.

Yeah, hence the 'tyrant' label. No one who had to answer to people like current leaders do could ever really fix things to the extent they need to be, doing even some of it would piss off way too many people.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>I honestly hadn't thought of it that way before, but you make a good point on why such thinking may be 'natural' to people. Still incredibly stupid, and a very good case of when people should go against their nature, but still understandable in a way.

I have thought, often, that we humans are at our best when we are go against our nature. Our instincts might keep us safe from saber-toothed tigers, but most of them are nothing but a hindrance to us now.

>Yeah, hence the 'tyrant' label. No one who had to answer to people like current leaders do could ever really fix things to the extent they need to be, doing even some of it would piss off way too many people.

Unfortunately, the only real progress that's possible is for the will of the majority to change over time. It's slow as hell and we're all impatient.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>I have thought, often, that we humans are at our best when we are go against our nature. Our instincts might keep us safe from saber-toothed tigers, but most of them are nothing but a hindrance to us now.

Yeah, the aggression, all out competition and fighting, among a slew of other instincts may have been great in a hunter-gatherer, or even more primitive society, but in the one we have know, they cause all sorts of problems, big and small.
 
>Unfortunately, the only real progress that's possible is for the will of the majority to change over time. It's slow as hell and we're all impatient.

Yeah, though I imagine society in general will make some serious leaps and bounds whenever people decide to shrug off, or at least lessen the impact the various religions have on it, and that just can't come soon enough.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>Yeah, though I imagine society in general will make some serious leaps and bounds whenever people decide to shrug off, or at least lessen the impact the various religions have on it, and that just can't come soon enough.

True. I think our best hope is to stop teaching kids that belief without doubt is virtuous. That right there is the root of the vast shitload of our problems. Kids need to be taught to to apply critical thinking to everything, no exceptions.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>True. I think our best hope is to stop teaching kids that belief without doubt is virtuous. That right there is the root of the vast shitload of our problems. Kids need to be taught to to apply critical thinking to everything, no exceptions.

As much as I absolutely love and agree with that idea, it would face so much opposition, from everyone who has a stake in keeping the populace mindless and obedient, that the odds of it coming to pass any time soon are seriously low sadly.

I do totally agree that thinking like that would solve so many problems, and stop even more from even popping up, so I guess I'll just hope I'm wrong and something like that does make it's way into the general thinking sometime during my lifetime.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>As much as I absolutely love and agree with that idea, it would face so much opposition, from everyone who has a stake in keeping the populace mindless and obedient, that the odds of it coming to pass any time soon are seriously low sadly.

Well, see, that's why you don't publicize it much. What we need is a small army of people capable of critical thinking to pass on their ideas to the next generation in any way they can. Not all learning happens in school.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>Well, see, that's why you don't publicize it much. What we need is a small army of people capable of critical thinking to pass on their ideas to the next generation in any way they can. Not all learning happens in school.

Arg, I feel like I just got beaned by the 2x4 of 'no duh'... All this time we're talking about something to drag people into the light of reason and self thinking, and I didn't realize that we've already got the perfect thing to do just that: the internet. In that you've got a truly massive collection of different view points, with a good portion of them being totally different, or at least diverging from each other at points.

Something like that is just perfect for people to either get some critical thinking skills as soon as possible, or learning the hard way why such skills are so needed, but in either case there's good odds that they will indeed learn them.
AlexReynard
7 years, 2 months ago
Absolutely. that's why I love the internet so much. There's never been a time in human history when more people from so many different places in the world, could communicate so freely. People will be exposed to ideas they never would have known about otherwise. And it's reaching the young, who are always the most receptive to new ideas. I genuinely believe that if anything's ever gonna shake loose religion's stranglehold on our culture, it'll be the internet.
KichigaiKitsune
7 years, 3 months ago
You know, I didn't even know the big bad drug in this movie was meant to be ecstasy. That's horribly embarrassing. At least it wasn't marijuana, though you've already mentioned Reefer Madness.
If only you had screen-caps to accompany this; it would've been fantastic. You might want to consider that, actually. It's possible.

Incidentally, being shot in the hip while in a car is certainly possible. Provided the round was powerful enough to puncture the vehicle's chassis, which is certainly possible with military grade weaponry. I've mostly repressed my memories of this movie, so I don't even recall who the guy is that got shot.
Knowing Bay, it was probably a throwback reference to the "shot in the ass" thing from earlier and not worth any mental effort whatsoever.
You know. Like the entire movie.

By the way, bloody hilarious and fave'd.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>You might want to consider that, actually. It's possible.

I don't have a program that can do that. I think...

>Incidentally, being shot in the hip while in a car is certainly possible. Provided the round was powerful enough to puncture the vehicle's chassis, which is certainly possible with military grade weaponry.

If that's true, then considering the amount of people who were shooting at the Hummer, everyone in it should be dead as swiss cheese.

>You know. Like the entire movie.

OHHHHHH SNAP!

>By the way, bloody hilarious and fave'd.

Thanks! I suffer for your entertainment! ;D
KichigaiKitsune
7 years, 3 months ago
>I don't have a program that can do that. I think...

Bleh, you might not. If you do, or you can find a way to snap screen caps, you can put them into a .doc file with your comments and make it available to download here.
I'm thinking something like this.
http://www.stardestroyer.net/Nemesis/Pictorial-1.html

Actually, you know what? You're going to enjoy that website. And the websites affiliated with it. That's if you haven't seen it already. Especially this one. http://www.creationtheory.org/
I managed to get RH Junior to link to it. I lulz'd so hard.

>If that's true, then considering the amount of people who were shooting at the Hummer, everyone in it should be dead as swiss cheese.
 
Ahh, typical action movie fare. A squidrillion bullets get farted in every direction, and the death toll is roughly the population of a small island nation. The only special thing about Bad Boys 2 is it seems half the "death toll" involves innocent civilians off-screen they never mention.
Mind you, the hummer they're in could've been bulletproofed. Except for, you know, that one magical bullet.

Most of the metal in a typical car is relatively thin and bullets will penetrate quite easily. Not necessarily through one door, the seats and upholstery, then out the other side, but through a door definitely is possible.
Cars, trains... aeroplanes... you name it. Much flimsier than you might think. Ever sat on the plane somewhere close to the window? Take a look; that's only a few inches between you and freezing, 1-mile high air, and much of it is hollow. Scary shit, eh?

>Thanks! I suffer for your entertainment! ;D

As opposed to Michael Bay, who entertains for our suffering.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>Bleh, you might not. If you do, or you can find a way to snap screen caps, you can put them into a .doc file

I CAN'T MAKE .DOC FILES. Not everyone's a PC, yannow! ;)

>I managed to get RH Junior to link to it. I lulz'd so hard.

Oh that is just glorious. :)

>A squidrillion bullets get farted in every direction,

That word made me imagine a billion Squidwards...

>The only special thing about Bad Boys 2 is it seems half the "death toll" involves innocent civilians off-screen they never mention.

I'd say most of the death toll, actually.

>Cars, trains... aeroplanes... you name it. Much flimsier than you might think. Ever sat on the plane somewhere close to the window? Take a look; that's only a few inches between you and freezing, 1-mile high air, and much of it is hollow. Scary shit, eh?

Not really. I'm apparently that rare mutant person who can be comforted by the law of probability. I don't let me scared by something that can happen if it's extremely unlikely that it ever would happen. ;)

>>Thanks! I suffer for your entertainment! ;D
>As opposed to Michael Bay, who entertains for our suffering.

Nice.
KichigaiKitsune
7 years, 3 months ago
>I CAN'T MAKE .DOC FILES. Not everyone's a PC, yannow! ;)

Oh bleh! You surely have something similar that allows image embedding! =D
Nonetheless, hope you checked out those links. I at least had plenty of fun cackling my head off about ST: Nemesis, which I personally think may exceed the stupidity of Bad Boys II.

>I'm apparently that rare mutant person who can be comforted by the law of probability. I don't let me scared by something that can happen if it's extremely unlikely that it ever would happen. ;)

Oh, absolutely. But if nothing else it's pretty fascinating. For instance, consider that due to budget cuts, airliners were using basically duct-tape to hold their wings together. Duct-tape is holding a four-hundred ton metal behemoth together.
In a way, it's like a gigantic rock balanced on a pebble.

>That word made me imagine a billion Squidwards...

The stuff of nightmares. Yeesh. :S

AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>I at least had plenty of fun cackling my head off about ST: Nemesis, which I personally think may exceed the stupidity of Bad Boys II.

I don't remember much about Nemesis, other than that it deeply pissed me off. I consider killing a beloved character off for no good reason to be one of the cardinal sins of storytelling. That was one of the sloppiest, stupidest character deaths I have ever seen in a movie. As far as I'm concerned, it didn't actually happen and Picard dreamed the whole movie after a bad bowl of chili.

>Oh, absolutely. But if nothing else it's pretty fascinating. For instance, consider that due to budget cuts, airliners were using basically duct-tape to hold their wings together. Duct-tape is holding a four-hundred ton metal behemoth together.
In a way, it's like a gigantic rock balanced on a pebble.

<narrows eyes> I'm going to have to ask you for a source on that information.
KichigaiKitsune
7 years, 3 months ago
I was pretty out of it when I watched Nemesis the first time. Honestly, you lose track of all sense of time when watching some movies, and it took ages before I asked why the fuck Shinzon was dragging things out, being unnecessarily evil and just generally being a shit bad-guy.

Source? Cool. >:3
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=arti...
Also: http://www.cracked.com/article_18884_the-7-most-horrif...
Seen that Cracked article? You might wanna pay attention to number 7 (the first one on the list). Delightful isn't it?

OK, I admit, it's probably a little stronger than duct tape and it was mostly just one airliner. (Exaggeration, my dear man!) Still, I think it's awesome.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
>why the fuck Shinzon was dragging things out, being unnecessarily evil and just generally being a shit bad-guy.

If you had the opportunity to fuck around with your clone, wouldn't you drag it out and have fun with it? ;)

>OK, I admit, it's probably a little stronger than duct tape and it was mostly just one airliner. (Exaggeration, my dear man!) Still, I think it's awesome.

Eh. I tire of news stories which are only scary because they're phrased in a scary way to people who don't read too closely. This sounds like it was more of a regulations violation than a safety violation.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>Actually, you know what? You're going to enjoy that website. And the websites affiliated with it. That's if you haven't seen it already. Especially this one. http://www.creationtheory.org/
I managed to get RH Junior to link to it. I lulz'd so hard.

To be fair to the guy, he does do pretty solid comics, as long as he can keep his religion and political views out of them, Tales of the Questor being a fairly good example. When he doesn't though... oiy, they tend to be about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the groin.

Awesome work on getting him to link to that site, I've been browsing it for the past hour or so, and he must have shit a brick when he did the same, realizing just what he'd linked his site to.
KichigaiKitsune
7 years, 3 months ago
Took someone else telling him "Mike Wong is a horrible atheist" to realize. As funny as the incident was, when I saw comments like that I simply shut down my LiveJournal and promptly forgot about the whole issue.

As for RHJ, yeah, I won't deny that. I read everything he had to offer until about a year or so ago when I honestly lost interest in every single web-comic out there. TotQ was pretty bloody fantastic.

Wong's websites, by the way, are all great reads, well written and great sources of information (which is more or less what he designed them to be).
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>Took someone else telling him "Mike Wong is a horrible atheist" to realize. As funny as the incident was, when I saw comments like that I simply shut down my LiveJournal and promptly forgot about the whole issue.

How the here would he not be able to realize that on his own though, unless he'd never visited the site he was linking to himself though? I mean, it's not like the site is in any way shape or form hiding what kind of content is on it...

As much as I'm sure it would hurt my brain to contemplate, I'd just love to hear what makes that guy a 'horrible atheist', since after browsing the site for a good while all he does is basically expose the less than shining things both in the christian 'holy book', and show how the actions of the less than noble members of the christian following are being a bit more true to their book than the 'moderate' ones are. Although maybe that's it, they call him a horrible atheist because he was so rude as to point those things out.

Gotta say though, I gotta love how the entire site of his seems to be dedicated to an idea I rather like 'The best weapon comes from your opponent's arsenal'.

>As for RHJ, yeah, I won't deny that. I read everything he had to offer until about a year or so ago when I honestly lost interest in every single web-comic out there. TotQ was pretty bloody fantastic.

Yeah, TotQ is pretty awesome, it's a pity really that he seems to have just stopped working on any of his series, other than the very rare single page update. And then of course there's the 'most expensive webcomic online' he does, where every 200 bucks people donate he throws up 3 more pages. How he expected that to actually work long term is beyond me...

>Wong's websites, by the way, are all great reads, well written and great sources of information (which is more or less what he designed them to be).

Yeah, they're certainly that. I'm actually tempted to print out some of the stuff, just to shove in the face of any religious nut who goes on about how 'moral' the bible is or some rot like that.
KichigaiKitsune
7 years, 3 months ago
Oh no, he actually linked to Stardestroyer.net, which had the links to the other sites on the homepage. Sorry, worded that terribly.

As for Mike Wong himself, fact is, to conservative Christians "atheism" is reason enough to call someone horrible, vitriolic, and/or immoral. That's really all there is to it; if anything, Wong is very outspoken and stands by his criticisms of the worst parts of Christianity.
In other words, "outspoken atheist" and "horrible" are almost interchangeable terms to some people.

You know how it is. They take the moral high ground and claim they don't attack atheists (which is a lie), while fairly putting the lie to the claim that atheists are more tolerant than they are. Therefore atheists are horrible, intolerant, bile-filled people with no moral compass.
While they, the God-fearing folk, just want to be left alone to practice their religion in peace, without those awful atheists trying to "destroy Christianity!" Until they're at the voting polls trying to make a piece of Christian morality into law for all, regardless of religion; then they wonder why us atheists get so vitriolic at them. Ugh.

Sorry, minor rant there.

>I'm actually tempted to print out some of the stuff, just to shove in the face of any religious nut who goes on about how 'moral' the bible is or some rot like that.

If nothing else, keep the URL in mind for the next time you have to suffer a debate with a religio-nut (like a pistachio nut, only twice as hard to crack and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth). Incidentally, the "Stardestroyer" website is also a lot of fun if you've got an interest in science, or science fiction - or the disparity between the two.
Just... avoid it if you're a hard-core Star Trek fan.

>And then of course there's the 'most expensive webcomic online' he does, where every 200 bucks people donate he throws up 3 more pages. How he expected that to actually work long term is beyond me...

Are you bloody serious?! I haven't been paying any attention to webcomics for the last few years, so I haven't heard of this.
chaosblackwing
7 years, 3 months ago
>Oh no, he actually linked to Stardestroyer.net, which had the links to the other sites on the homepage. Sorry, worded that terribly.

Okay, so not linked to the page directly, just to one that was done by the same person, that I suppose I can understand.

>As for Mike Wong himself, fact is, to conservative Christians "atheism" is reason enough to call someone horrible, vitriolic, and/or immoral. That's really all there is to it; if anything, Wong is very outspoken and stands by his criticisms of the worst parts of Christianity.
In other words, "outspoken atheist" and "horrible" are almost interchangeable terms to some people.

Oh it's disgusting, and childish and a slew of other similar words the way people like that act, but 'surprising' isn't one of them when you think about it. I mean, here you have a group of people absolutely convinced that they are the pinnacle of moral standing, that they know everything that people should do, and that they are totally and utterly right about everything. As such anyone who disagrees with such 'upstanding, moral citizens' must obviously be a horrible degenerate, or worse.

So given all that, it's not surprising that anyone who disagrees with them is considered with such absolute contempt. Appallingly arrogant, stupid in the extreme, and hypocritical enough to gag a moose, but hardly surprising.

>You know how it is. They take the moral high ground and claim they don't attack atheists (which is a lie), while fairly putting the lie to the claim that atheists are more tolerant than they are. Therefore atheists are horrible, intolerant, bile-filled people with no moral compass.
While they, the God-fearing folk, just want to be left alone to practice their religion in peace, without those awful atheists trying to "destroy Christianity!" Until they're at the voting polls trying to make a piece of Christian morality into law for all, regardless of religion; then they wonder why us atheists get so vitriolic at them. Ugh.

Sorry, minor rant there.

Oh no problem, I've had that crap run through my head more than a few times myself. The sheer gall some of those people show by saying that atheist, or even those of other religions are 'stifling their religious freedoms' by objecting to them shoving it down everyone's throats can be just disgusting, and hypocrisy of that level torques me off on all kinds of levels.

>If nothing else, keep the URL in mind for the next time you have to suffer a debate with a religio-nut (like a pistachio nut, only twice as hard to crack and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth). Incidentally, the "Stardestroyer" website is also a lot of fun if you've got an interest in science, or science fiction - or the disparity between the two.
Just... avoid it if you're a hard-core Star Trek fan.

Hmm, actually as crazy as it seems I think I'm going to steal a trick from the bible thumpers and just write down the passages and the general content of them, that way I can just pull those out and they can look the bloody things up themselves. Not to mention, using a trick from their book(in more ways than one) for something like that is far more satisfying.

I'll definitely check out the stardestroyer site when I can though, that sounds like quite the read, as I quite enjoy science fiction stuff.

>Are you bloody serious?! I haven't been paying any attention to webcomics for the last few years, so I haven't heard of this.

As crazy as it might seem, yeah, I'm totally serious, here's what's posted above the pages of that particular comic(listed as QQSR on the navigation bar):

'YOU DECIDE WHEN THE ACTION CONTINUES!
when the meter hits $200, the artist will post
3 NEW PAGES


It used to be 3 pages per $100, which considering they're full color, large comic pages doesn't seem to be that bad compared to commission prices these days really, but I think after he saw that people were actually going for it he just got greedy and jacked the price up.
ScottyKat
7 years, 3 months ago
damn thats a lot of bull
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
That's a bit of an understatement. ;)
ScottyKat
7 years, 3 months ago
i dont know how to properly measure the bullshit
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
For this movie? Probably in lightyears.
Rakaziel
7 years, 3 months ago
I have not seen the movie but your review is very entertaining. Most likely more funny than the movie, in fact.

From what you wrote it even seems like it could have been a great action movie - with another director and dialogue and an actual good explanation for all the car chases and switches in location. And a realistic drug, or at least a fictional one.
AlexReynard
7 years, 3 months ago
Yeah, I'll concede that. Most of the worst parts were things that were totally unessential to the story. Leave out all the corpse tampering, the racism, the 'woosaa', and the civilian-killing, and there's potential.

I really would like to see the script for Dark Of The Moon and see if it would have been a far better movie with a different director. I've already heard that the abrupt, brutal ending was COMPLETELY different in the novelization.
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