The chief penguin, Zzyzx, walked through the halls of the Order of Pengu while looking through the mail. It was mostly ads and coupons. He noticed a buy one, get one free coupon for Burger Lord and set it aside when he finally got back to his desk.
He looked up when someone suddenly yelled, “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!” Zzyzx screamed as he saw a crazed hell phoenix charging at him, holding a scaled down claymore sword above his head. Aohd swung the sword, embedding the blade deep, into the edge of the table. Zzyzx was barely able to leap out of the way as several papers went flying into the air.
“What the hell Aohd? Do you have any idea how much that desk is going to cost to fix? What the hell are you thinking?”
Zzyzx waited for an answer while Aohd pulled the blade from the desk. He turned and stared at the penguin, his breathing rapid and pupils dilated. Zzyzx's expression changed as he realized, this wasn't the typical form of Aohd crazy.
“Well Zzyzx, I'll tell you what I'm thinking. I'm thinking, if I cut off your head I will take your power and become the leader of Pengu.”
“Yeah... Listen buddy, I don't think it works that way.”
“Well, it doesn't really matter. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!” yelled Aohd as he raised his sword to strike again. Before he could, Zzyzx held up his flippers and yelled “WAIT!” Aohd stopped to listen to what the penguin had to say.
“Look, I get it. You are really into this Highlander gag but you aren't doing it right. I mean you don't have a katana and there is no Queen playing in the background.”
Aohd lowered his sword and leaned onto it. He rubbed just under his beak as he thought about the points that Zzyzx made. He perked up when he came to some realizations.
“First off, agreed on the lack of Queen. I'll be sure to fix that next time. Second, the bad guy didn't use a katana so I'm still sorta right.”
“So you are implying you are a bad guy?”, asked Zzyzx with an annoyed expression.
“I'm not totally bad. Here, I got you a katana so you can properly defend yourself.” Aohd offered said katana to the even more confused penguin who took it.
“If you wanted me to properly defend myself you really should have given this to me before you tried to kill me.”
“Noted friend. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!”, he yelled again as he lifted his sword. Zzyzx did not hesitate as he ran away as fast as he could from the crazed phoenix.
** ** ** ** **
“So you are really going to keep this guy?” Rika asked Ajana, as she stared into the glass holding tank with the shoggoth.
“For the moment, yes. We don't know if there are anymore and have no idea what would happen if we tried to kill it.”, replied Ajana. She returned with two juice boxes and offered one to the red fox. “Besides, it's been behaving since we caught it. Hasn't tried to break out or anything.”
“That's good. You got a name for this guy?”
Before Ajana could answer, Zzyzx ran into the room and slammed the door, still carrying his katana. He panted as he tried to catch his breath. He saw Ajana and Rika stare at him, confused.
“It's Aohd! He's acting crazy!”
The two females continued to stare as if this was normal. Zzyzx sighed as he put a flipper to his chest.
“More so than his normal crazy. He's trying to cut my head off.”
They both went “Oh” in unison, as they realized the situation was serious. Before anyone could do anything, the lab door opened and Aohd stepped in.
“Really Big Z? You didn't even lock the door to try and slow me down a little?”
Zzyzx slumped his shoulders before he yelled “Noted!” and began running again. Ajana and Rika watched as both birds ran out of the research lab. Rika finished her juice box and asked “So, should we help Zzyzx?”
“Well we should, considering he is our cult leader and all. You get the tranquilizer darts and I'll get the holy water.”
** ** ** ** **
Zzyzx ran into the cults underground night club. He jumped onto the stage still holding his sheathed katana as the Order's 80's cover band started up a set. The chief penguin looked around, as random cult members were enjoying cocktails and dancing. He asked himself: “When the hell did we build this?”
He had little time to ponder answers as Aohd had entered the club as well. Zzyzx groaned as he ran off stage. Aohd pursued the fleeing fowl, his sword still drawn. He paused when his eyes met with the cover band's lead singer. The hell phoenix motioned for the mic, which the penguin handed over. Aohd brought the mic to his beak and began to sing.
“It's not in the way that you hold me. It's not in the way that you say you care. It's not in the way you've been treating my friends. It's not in the way that you've stayed till the end. It's not in the way you look or the things that you say that you'll do... Hold the line! Love isn't always on time! Woah, ooh, ooh... Hold the line! Love isn't always on time! Woah, ooh, ooh...”
The club erupted in applause and cheers for Aohd. He took a bow before handing the microphone back and continued his pursuit of Zzyzx.
** ** ** ** **
Zzyzx looked around as he caught his breath. He wondered where Aohd was as he finally unsheathed his katana. He was tired of running and ready to stand his ground. He could feel his heart racing as Aohd slowly stalked the penguin, taunting him as he did.
“Zzyzx, come out to play.”
Zzyzx groaned at the bad movie reference as he took a ready stance with his sword. He saw Aohd turn the corner as the two faced each other in the empty hallway.
“This is exactly how is should be Zzyzx. You and me, a final showdown in an empty hallway, to the death!”
Zzyzx suddenly realized that there was no one in this particular hallway.
“You're right, you crazed hell spawn. Where is everyone at?”
That doesn't matter right now! There can be only one!”, yelled Aohd as he charged at the penguin, yelling with his sword over head. Zzyzx stood firm as he knew he had one shot to win. He waited for the very last second before drawing his blade back only to thrust it forward.
Aohd's screaming suddenly stopped as he looked down to see the katana driven into his chest. Aohd looked up as he produced a confused “Hmm, didn't see that coming.” He dropped his sword, and it made a loud clang upon hitting the ground. Zzyzx pulled his sword out of Aohd's chest with a grunt as the hell phoenix's body slumped over. Zzyzx was cautious as he check Aohd for a pulse.
Ajana and Rika just turned the corner with the holy water spray bottle and a tranquilizer air gun. They stopped when they saw Zzyzx, supporting himself with his sword as he stood over Aohd. The two women slowly approached the pair of birds
“Is he...”, Ajana asked as they looked down at Zzyzx. The penguin looked up at both of them and shook his head. With a calm demeanor, Zzyzx walked over to his swords sheath and secured his weapon. He sighed and stared at Ajana and Rika.
“Aohd is dead.”
There was an eerie silence in the hallway as time seemed to stand still.