From the most holy Bureaucraticon
In the Beginning, the Great Administrator created the Colleges and the University. And the University was without form and void; and darkness was upon the face of the fields. And he said, let there be light: and the fluorescence flickered to light. And he saw the light, that it was bright and put motion sensors in all the rooms. And he called the light expensive, and the darkness he called cheap. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
And he said, let there be a plaza in the midst of the fields, and let it divide the lands from the lands. And he made the plaza, and divided the fields, which were on the left of the plaza from the fields, which were on the right of the plaza; and it was so. And he called the plaza Martin. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
And lo, a great plan dawned on him and on him a great plan dawned. To teach the world and to uphold a light of learning to the future. But then the Great Adversary did arise from within the darkness which was cheap. The Adversary was without form and dark, and to confuse and destroy this great plan, he did seek. As he saw that it him it might destroy. And the evening and the morning were the third day.
The Administrator created Admissions so that all might come to him to see this light. And the Adversary created tuition so that they might turn away. The Administrator created Registration so that they might take courses to see the light. And the Adversary created limits on the number per class and times of inconvenience to diffuse the light. And the Administrator created housing so that all might have a place to dwell when the light they did study. And housing administration he did also create to run it. Yet the Adversary gave the housing administration weak minds to torture those who came to see the light and also did live on the University. And lo, the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
And the Administrator did see his plan corrupted and saw the work of the Adversary and did seek to foil him. The Administrator did create Financial Aid to help pay the tuition of the Adversary and Student Services to aid with their problems. And the Adversary did see this and thought himself undone. He did sit down to think and think he did. And hark, an inspiration occurred to him and the Adversary did form the devastating of all creations: paperwork, red tape, and systems of rules to divide and confuse all departments in the Colleges and in the University. The Bureaucracy he did create to bring the darkness from which he was borne to reign supreme upon the face of the plaza and all that surrounds it. And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
And lo, the weekend dawned and the Adversary in his malice did offer to buy the Administrator a drink. Now the Administrator did sayeth, Hark it is but eleven thirty. And the Adversary in his cleverness did respond, Hath not heard of the martini lunch in all thine travels? And so they did both get drunk. And drunk they did get. And thus did the weekend pass. Lo, when the weekend did pass, the University could not be repaired for against the new rules of the Adversary it was. And the Bureaucracy did reign supreme.