Unfortunately couldn't use the title as an art pun. -.- This refers to my previous journal.
Holidays were a disappointment (no surprise), I don't get IRL gifts nor can I even keep track of what I'd even want, besides (complete) ways to fix my problems anyway. Got injured trying to repair old corroded water pipes (hand gashes), been getting various infections. There were a couple moments things were looking up, but problems piled up again.
Things haven't been going well. I'm not doing well.
At this point almost everything I have left is far too old to maintain, I can no longer keep up with repairing things. This is where much of my "free time" is going, then I have to recover and repeat.
Kinda urgently need help ASAP, both donations and advice.
Some larger ones too would be helpful since I've only been scrapping by, I can't repair &replace things with only a few bucks left after each months utilities bills, (and their fees have increasing, oh yay). Things will continue to get worse until I can replace enough equipment and have spare time to get medical treatment.
A new old problem is the electric supply has gotten unstable again, things that use switching-power converters (PC power supplies, TV's made after 2000, power packs for PC accessories /N64 & gamecube consoles, etc) are vulnerable to this and have been repeatedly damaged, surge suppressors didn't work, the UPS did to some degree but could only withstand so much before giving out too. As far as I can tell its frequent brief power outages, small power spikes (can hear pops in anything with audio), and times when the voltage drops well below normal seem to do it. I call to complain but they say they are still trying to upgrade the states power grid.. I am down to an old salvaged 200W power supply (in this old pc) and the newest one I bought last year. the second newest died a few weeks ago in a power outage.
And I need advice on something (affordable) that can protect against unstable 120v AC power. My only idea so far is to build a PC power supply from old heavy transformers and regulators, since they can withstand the unstable power far better (yes, I have electronics experience, though new tech is made not so repairable on purpose). I am not risking using the new PC until I know it's not going to fry too.
I know many of you are tired of hearing it, but mostly only a very few close friends have been helping, it's been enough to hang on but not enough to fix worsening problems. I wanted to keep this to myself, try to fix it myself, but even friends are saying I can't without others help too.
I need a few occasional big assists to fix things. Then I can spare the time to make more money myself.
Well, technically my whole life has been on average miserable compared to what people consider normal. But to me my childhood was tolerable compared to now. Things have been worsening for almost a decade, that's back when i had savings and money to buy things like the old gamecube and this old PC, Things have not gone well on average since, meaning haven't been able to buy anything other than occasional replacement parts, some friends and family have died over the last decade so there went half the people I liked & could count on. Then around 2012 things went from purgatory to hell, only bad things happening at increasing rates. Everything I earn goes to bills, not me. Years of this, not good for morale. I haven't felt well in years, each month is only more problems to deal with.
Well, technically my whole life has been on average miserable compared to what people consider norma
Are you in any position to move? It sounds to me like you're making more effort trying to maintain your current state of living than it would be to find somewhere else.
I also personally believe that all things happen for a reason, even if we can't understand why they are happening. Maybe the universe has something better for you elsewhere? But how would you know if you stayed.
I wish there was something I could do for you financially but I'm honestly dealing with some of my own financial burdens that I've found myself with. I've been trying to get back into taking commissions for extra money because I recently moved across the country to be with my family again cause my life was falling apart. I am broke with no income :P
Honestly though if you want someone to talk to feel free to hit me up on skype (Laskafoxx) or PM me here.
Are you in any position to move? It sounds to me like you're making more effort trying to maintain y
Moving isn't an option nor a good idea. People are having similar problems increasingly elsewhere. Medical care and utilities are a ripoff everywhere, the few places it isn't are simply next. This is my best option, house is paid off, i just have property fees (land,water&waste taxes) and utilities, so living costs is about 250/mo. Location isn't the main problem, not being in good health and not having the tools i need to do anything about it are. The few offers to move in with anyone from like online, in all cases it was good that I did not.. one was a small group that later ended up not getting along and split apart on bad terms, another...would've been like moving in with a boss at work - it was very clear early on I'd be tossed out like last years ipod or whatever. and another would be one of those afflicted with lots of issues now too, so all were lateral or worse options. Staying with relatives never went well. Even at sleepovers when I was a kid I could never sleep (treatment resistant anxiety). So me living alone most of the time bought me more time, allowed me to do my projects back when stuff worked properly. I trust my wariness for good reason, tends to be right. The things I know would help, from experience, are things people aren't offering or too rarely at best.
As for reading into "signs", It's best I don't. The way things are tell me unprivileged people are doomed to misery, we're just sheep sheered & tortured for the delight of tyrants. But I don't like the way things are, I'd prefer to be defiant. I had dreams to make happen, but I can't if I end up a vegetable. So the options are teamwork or accepting the end.
I despise needing to ask people for help, each time it makes me feel more useless. It would be easier if I could just randomly accept items I need as gifts, but that tended to backfire too.
None of the commonly used messengers work on this old PC, Skype was the last thing to go, it demands an update, but they all fail to install. I'd have to install to the new PC but I have no spare parts for it and no way to protect it from likely damage either. I don't really have the luxury of talking to people much anymore anyway. I have no positive or fun things to talk about much anymore until this changes.
Moving isn't an option nor a good idea. People are having similar problems increasingly elsewhere.
Thanks again, but it worries me to need to accept help from people having stressful times too, but it seems like I'm mostly only barely getting help from people that know what this is like.. I'm left wondering why society has gone so wrong.
Like if one of those people that can spend thousands so carefree and not be hurt by splurging actually helped by like 1k then most of my serious obstruction problems would be dealt with for a year or two, but they never do.
Thanks again, but it worries me to need to accept help from people having stressful times too, but i
It's just one of those things. Rich people want to stay rich and don't give two rats asses about anyone but themselves, and people they know. A lot of life has to do with connections and who you know. Some people with money would throw their cash at people for making art if they find it...arty enough. You know how sophisticated they can be.
I wonder if you could make cute clean cub stuff and show it to some rich guy that's totally oblivious, you could probably net a sponsor of some sort. But that's just wishful thinking. There's also the 'you need money to make money' motto, which is crap, but true.
It just makes you wonder where things in our world has gone wrong to make these kinds of things happen. I'm not one for religion, but the best I could offer for you is to go to a church and see if they could help with your plight. Maybe even talking to the debt collectors..but I see the latter not going very well.
It's just one of those things. Rich people want to stay rich and don't give two rats asses about any
I tried the sponsoring thing 2 or 3 times, a problem was unreasonable expectations and me having to focus my time on them, which just made other things worse. Well one was chased away by someone else I was also helping because that sponsor was a noob to art & plagiarized others art ideas, I was trying to get the person to rely more on their own skill which was adequate. So yeah, I can't sustain such attention until I'm not spending 90% of my time dealing with problems & getting burnt out & worn out. And the interruptions make it hard to resume things because skills and train of thought can get rusty fast.
Oh, my credit was shot long ago. Didn't help that some relatives "borrowed" a huge chunk of it and put little effort in paying it back. Though that particular credit company was bought out by one of those too-big-to-fail banks that changed my locked rate from 4% to 39%, so the rest of the credit (about 10k available) was eaten up by compounding interest in a few months. It was a dirty move, my only options were something like close the account and pay it off within 6 months (that would've been 2x what i made at the time) or accept the hiked rate. No surprise WaMu went out of business, many can't pay such a hike. If I knew they'd go so corrupt I should've looted it before they piled up the interest. My credit rating was actually pretty good before then, that's how I got the platinum locked rate upgrade. So out of all that I was only able to use about 5% of it , that went to computer accessories, a few games, and pet emergencies, the bulk was left unused intended for emergencies only.
I tried the sponsoring thing 2 or 3 times, a problem was unreasonable expectations and me having to
So nobody other than friends I take it.. I'm not surprised, most people still just accept things breaking rapidly and just buy new ones, but I can't.
Having to take precautions like frequently backing everything up and using this expendable antique pc is severely slowing me down. What more proof people need? or people just don't care about others anymore? Things are bad but I cannot believe 99.8% of 3000+ watchers are in bad shape too.
So nobody other than friends I take it.. I'm not surprised, most people still just accept things bre
