So those of you who know me well enough will remember this post here http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3814407/ Where i was temporarily barred from attending an Xmas Furry party in 2012 due to people threatening to not go because of alleged inappropriate sexual advances on my part. I also mentioned how this was done without me being able to defend myself, and how i couldnt settle things with the accuser because they wished to remain anonymous. I basically had no leg to stand on. I was emotionally hurt and distraught because it seemed like they were more just trying to get rid of me than just enforcing some rule on the books. Plus it happened right before the event anyways. No complaints after the last one or anyy other time before hand.
Anyways after that fiasco the ban WAS lifted and i got to go back to the party in 2013 and once again in 2014. I had fun, got to see and hang with friends again in a fun Christmas themed environment. And there didnt seem to be any problems with anyone with no complaints from the Staff or anyone. As a result i thought everyting had ironed out and that things were smooth sailing and i could put the past behind me......yeah. So fast forward to this year. I RSVP in august for the event thinking "Yay Furry Xmas Fun Fun" and pgetting my hotel room and all that thinking how much fun im gonna have.....until the 8th of this month. I go to check the RSVP list to see whos going and my account isnt working when i sign in getting the words "Account is not activated or its blocked". This starts sending the fear thru me and giving me deja vu. So i check my email and sure enough theres an email from the 4th reading:....
"Hello Convoy, This is the Secret Santa for 2015. I’m new and learning the policies agree to in helping with the event. We have received a complaint saying you were making inappropriate sexual physical advances and photography to a guest last year. He and his guests will not attend if you are there. I asked the originator of the event and he has mentioned you are always extremely helpful and a great guest. However the SS prior to me had mention there have been complaints in the past and you were on a warning. If this matter can’t be resolved, I have no choice but to suspend your invitation to the event for the comfort and safety of others. Can you offer any suggestions on how this matter can be resolved peacefully without canceling your invite? You are spoken very kindly of by past organizers.
Secret Santa"
This already is starting to fray my nerves and making me panic, trying to remember who was at the party, what i did, and who i did it to. All i can remember about any thing of that nature was consentual. Even the photos i took didnt have anything of that nature, the paw pics bein consentual too. And again the trats of the last email were there. Secret Santa Messenger, an unknown complainant, a vague description of myy actions, waiting till im about to attend the next event to throw a shaft into my bike spokes and me with my hands tied. I contact some of my friends and they tell me to respond back defending myself. So i did to the best of my abilities, writing back....
"To the Secret Santa of Warm and Fuzzy Xmas Party.
I am quite displeased with this news and quite dismayed as i was looking forward to spending a weekend with friends at an event held deep in my heart. I am also slightly dissapointed that the decision of banning me would be made despite positive claims from event staff and organizers against the protest of one. I for one am most definitely protesting these allegation as i had at the previous incident mention by your predecessor
This situation and the past one in 2012 (which pertained to my attendance in 2010) have both put me in a state of pure disadvantage. Like the aforementioned case I have no knowledge of the actions i have been accused of making nor am i aware of the identity of the accusing party, and nor does there seem to be any proof of any misdoings other than someone just saying that there is, so i im not exactly sure how i can resolve this issue effectively without that information. In my defense i can attest that, to my knowledge any encounters at last years event AND at the 2010 event were few and of consent. To add to that no alarm or concern was raised by the event staff to me after the event nor by the accuser, and that i was not aware of any wrong doings until i had attempted to attend the WFCP in 2012 and this one coming up.
The only suggestion i can think of is to have the accuser directly contact me so that things can be discussed and possibly negotiated and then rectified. Honestly though if what it is ive been accused of doing is enough for him to warrant not coming to the party, then i see no reason for them to stay anonymous and make these alleged one-sided allegations. Id appreciate a quick response so that the rectification process can begin.
Truly yours Convoy Wolf"
So i waited for a couple of days, even went to another furry party to take my mind off of this and stuff, trying to get into a more positive frame of mind, yet still believing that if this was anything lik last time i know i was gonna be banned whether or not i tried to defend myself. Sure enough yesterday after work i get home and check my email and i got this...
"Hello and thank you for the reply. They wish to maintain anonymity to prevent any issues of retaliation. Under normal circumstances it would be one word versus the other. However the complaint is almost identical to the complaints made in years past from different people. This would actually be the 5th complaint of sexual-harassment regarding you. Unfortunately this cannot be ignored as you are already on a warning. As of right now your membership is suspended until further notice. We have a reservation for you at the hotel however you will not be permitted to stay or enter in the private event. If you do you will be publicly removed and issue of "multiple reports of sexual harassment " would also be made public. As of now that information stays confidential. We do recommend peacefully canceling your hotel Reservation with no penalty as you will not be RSVPed for the 2015 event. Please understand that the event staff itself thinks very highly of you but unfortunately it is a relevant as these complaints cannot be ignored. I'm sure you understand and if you were put in our situation you would be forced into the same decision. I will do my best to reactivate your account for the 2016 event providing there's no retaliation against the event itself or related issues.
Yours WFCP Secret Santa"
I am literally at a loss for words. I'm pissed off, confused, sad, all kinds of emotions of that nature. I hardly had a ghost of a chance to fix this situation. I was screwed nmo matter what i did. And none of it makes any damn sense whatsoever. What burns me is that not only did they not give me any opportunity to make things right they also made this decision even though the organizers of the event even said they never heard anything bad about me.
Now i know what some of you are gonna say. "Well Convoy this shouldnt be a surprise youve had a rep for bein kind of a clingy bitch around people expecially in suit and people complain when you take pics of their fursuit feet and what not" Yeah well shit it. I know that and believe me when something like this happens i always assume it has something to do with my little social issues. I get it. Im an over affectionate very open paw loving fursuit worshipper and when im around them i get super clingy and what not. However ive been told that ive been improving in that regard and are way better to be around nowadays than others. I'm not denying i have a problem though and perhaps maybe i do need help as one friend mentioned, suggesting i seek possible psychiatric help. Maybe i do and maybe i don't. Maybe its something i can work on on my own maybe its not. I don't know.
In my defense though alot of this stuff doesnt really add up. I mean the complaint of "Innapropriate sexual and physical advances" (which already sounds worse and more like someone else i know) went from that to 5 counts of sexual harassment like this is an office party or some shit. First of all ive only been to the event 3 times so either these counts are representing an event more thn once or some were added on to worsen my apperance. Secondly ive been trying my ass off to improve my image since the first time and no one gave me any grief as later cons about my behavior at this party (I see the same people at other Florida fur events) so for me to have 5 different complaints of inappropriate behavior all of a sudden right before the next one its really suspicious whether not its true or not And honestly if such a thing as excessive hugging or whatever is enough to keep you from going to a party if im there then either your someone with your own insecurities who cant deal with things like this or you're quite a professional drama queen who seriously overreacts to shit and maybe you need to wonder if your in the right fandom.
Dont get me wrong. I know that just because personal space isnt a high priority in this fandom that doesn't mean i can go around hugging people at random willy nilly. But i can say with true confidence that i have improved from the early days of me going to cons where there was a complaint after every con or meet i went to.. Also iits not as if everyone else at this party is the pillar of innocence. I've had people do to me what im being accused of doing. To add to that i know that what ive allegedly done here PALES in comparison to some of the things ive seen at this party (hole punched into a wall, and public vomiting from a balcony onto someones car come to mind right away) Heck i got sucker punched in the gut at this past event for joking around with a fursuiter who showed up for the photo shoot late. All i said was "fashionably late i see" and pow right in the solar plexus. And before you ask, yes there was probably alcohol involved in all these instances. (It dos seem that all you need is booze and/or a fursuit with a dash of popufur and let the magic begin)
Now did i get on a high horse with a stick up my ass and threaten the event with a no show if these people came back next year? No! Why? For one, its a furry party at which this stuff should be anticipated, and two i didnt wanna be seen as a dram queen and honestly i got over it and moved on with my life, someone some people apparently cannot! And yet im sure these individuals will probably be at this party. And mind you this is not a con this is a small event at a hotel with about 20 to 30 people so anything that happens is witness by most of the attendees. And it doesn't even have to be this party i can use as an example. Seems like every con theres a couple of furs, suiters or not who fill themselves to the brim and stagger about the con or whatev doin silly stuff and are still able to come back year after year after year. And if their in suit they hardly get in trouble at all. Now tho it seems we've come to a head with RF and Oklacon.
So in conclusion, while i admit to haveing my associated short comings i believe what transpired here is nothing more than favoritism in a private party. Its either this person is a hater or someone who i guess i left a not so gret impression on in the past, who wanted to go to this event but didnt want me there and made a bunch of stuff up, or perhaps its someone who took my behavior completely out of context and completely overreacted with these complaints or whatever. And my paranoia often makes me fear that because i know alot of the people who go there often, whoever did this might be someone i know.
And so as a result of all this i have made the decision not to attend this party ever again. Its easily a display of furry eliticism and popufur where someone like myself who isnt either of thse things could be messed with like this in favor of someone else. Because lemmie tell you, if i was runnin this thing and someones threated a no show using only word of mouth against another fur id be like "Bye then. Dun let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya". Maybe once the event rolls around, MAYBe ill re attend. Till then whoever is going, have a safe fun time and stay outta Santas crosshairs. And to the fur who got me banned? Hope it was worth it.
"This would actually be the 5th complaint..." Maybe someone from 2010 you pissed off, and every year they are making the same complaint, if you tell them you've only gone to three, and if it's all from the same person every year, you can possibly say these are false claims... Best idea I got for ya. =3
Fight on Convoy!
"This would actually be the 5th complaint..." Maybe someone from 2010 you pissed off, and every year
I've never been to a FurCon. They and other convention activities would require more physical and psychic energy than I am able to come up with these days -and I talk about the 70's.
I WAS at the Rhocon in the 70's, in Washington D.C., but left the day before it was over, as it seemed poorly organized and poorly attended. (The official reports actually inflated attendance 10,000% !) . Let the record show that, tho a simiular event was advertized out west, it was cancelled and never held. Also NO further Rhocons were held.
I had the recurring daydream of having just checked in at some con, when I am threatened by guys dressed as a mad ringmaster, a robot, a dwarf and a transsexual. They threatened me twice, and so I checked OUT and never came back. I visited places in the city instead and then went home.
I've never been to a FurCon. They and other convention activities would require more physical and ps
