Notes on pedophilia: an analysis.
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I write this document both to help myself sort out the arguments, and to discuss with
others. It is written with the express knowledge that I have an inbuilt bias towards pedophila
being favorable, while also questioning a deep cultural bias against it (which it holds despite
a lack of regard for other child's rights).
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First, notes in favor of pedophilia.
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While it is true that acts of pedophilia are strongly correlated with abuse, this is often tied up
in other problematic acts that are also abusive (due to the extreme power difference and dependency
of the child), which are further exasterbated by society's failure to treat children as people.
While one may feel defensive about protecting the illusion of a good childhood, even modern parents
range from "messed up people with too many issues to be raising kids" to "an active cancer on humanity
who will create the monsters who will destroy this world." Backwards societies have more of the latter,
but modern societies have slices of all psychoclasses.
A child does in fact have sexuality, but a child's sexuality is different from that of an adult; an
adult's sexuality is goal-oriented (the desire to have sex), while a child's sexuality is exploratory
(seeking to understand the body of oneself and others of your species). This is possibly made necessary
because society tries to make sex such a big damn secret, instead of just being another fact.
Children will naturally try to experiment with thier peers in order to make sense of it all.
(see julia sweeney's "sex ed" monolouge for an interesting insight on this)
This raises a natural complication in a pedophiliac relationship, since the sexual motives are very
different and can be hard to reciprocate.
As mentioned before, any relationship with a child (whether it be as a parent, a friend, a teacher,
or something else) is affected by an immense power difference. Not only are children lacking in almost
every area relative to an adult, but they have an inbuilt desire to please thier guardians as an
evolutionary adaptation to survive to reach adulthood themselves. As of yet, there are likely few people
who have the purity of soul (metaphorically speaking) to not take advantage of this disparity of power in
an abusive manner, but wishful thinking on my part hopes that perhaps pedophilia on its own is not
inherently harmful. It is the difference of rape vs lovemaking, but with a partner with a severe lack of
power and inbuilt motivators to do things they might not genuinely want to do, and so requiring a much
gentler and cautious approach than any adult relationship would (which is not even counting the LEGAL
aspect).
An example of this would be the facts of the types of kids that pedophiles usually go after; these are the
kids that are lonely, isolated, and have nobody to turn to, and upon meeting the pedophile, are overjoyed
to find someone who seems to actually care about them. If the kid believes he needs to "put out" to keep
his newfound friend, then that would be an example of a motivator not based on a genuine desire (and would
be something serious to watch out for if one wanted to take an ethical approach).
(as an personal example, I myself was one of these lonely isolated kids, though I don't recall any instance
of sexual abuse. It may be that the attraction is partly sympathy of knowing what it is like to be alone)
A serious argument I would point out is that despite the serious stance against what society would call
"child abuse", society is nonetheless guilty of blatant double standards on the treatment of children.
As an example, if I were to bend some adult over my knee and spank them (non-consentually), I would be
charged with assault and battery. Do it to "your" child, and it is considered by society to be good
discipline. This also lends itself to society's habit of treating children as property (aka, "don't you
DARE tell me how to raise MY child", as if having a child somehow makes them an expert in raising one,
despite the fact that most people are fucknuts who have no business having children).
The taboo on pedophilia, regardless of whether or not it is really harmful, tends to be more motivated by
unconscious knee-jerk reactions than from an actual analysis of the facts (I do emphisize though, that this
by no means proves or disproves the harmfullness of pedophilia; it only serves to demonstrate that society
is very often wrong about quite a lot of things).
Another note is that in the past, before public schools had kids seggragated into age groups, children
gained knowledge of society and the world by being exposed to people in every stage of life. As an
ancedentel note, I myself as a child by far preferred the company of teachers rather than people my own age,
and that did a considerable amount to influence my intellectual nature, as well as providing
intellegent conversational partners for complex ideas that were beyond by age groups grasp (my exploration
of libertarianism started with a kindly literature teacher who thought I might appreciate what she shared).
On the note of lonelines and isolation, in many ways having an older mentor figure would be of great benefit
to such a child (barring dishonest predatory behavior). This allows the child to gain the wisdom of adults
without being hindered by the hypocrisy of the mentor (there is a good reason why children don't
take thier parent's advice seriously).
I would seriously abjure the idea of an incestious relationship (the parents are the child's primary
caretakers; the power disparity is already too great), but I would suggest the involvement of open-minded
parents in screening the relationshop if some parents weren't already motivated to make sure their kids
get abused (it does happen; sometimes for truly petty convienience that would make you sick to hear).
On another note of loneliness and isolation, society's reactions to pedophilia and pedophiles does not help either.
It is possible that the massive media parade and panic that follows pedophilia can be at least as harmful as the
act itself. On the other side, it is not easy living convinced by society that you are a monster for feelings that
can't be helped; this is actually how catholicism controlled people in the past through the demonization of
natural drives.
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Notes against pedophilia
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Being against pedophilia is a deep seated cultural belief in modern countries, and is considered an absolute
despite it's relatively recent development. Since it is in fact inmeshed with great temptation for corrupt
behavior, any actual experiment would be extremely unethical (not enough data to make a firm enough argument
against the "what if you are wrong?" problem) and would require a pedophile of unrealistically
pure virtue. Perhaps a more ethical source of data would be from the actions of the prepared, "sex is no
big deal" parents who did not assume that the mere act of giving birth would imbue them with the knowledge
needed to raise thier child, but that is irrelevent to this section.
Some information I have collected does seem to suggest that people who have tendencies towards pedophilia
(and zoophilia, for that matter), tend to have crushingly low self esteems, and it has been suggested that
the desire for such a relationship is due to not having the confidence to seek an equal relationship (basically
that the power disparity IS the whole point of pedophilia). This is also interesting because it tends to be
the description of the kinds of kids who are targeted by pedophiles.
Ultimately, this is the fault of the parents, since all people were once children, and children are raised by
parents for the most part. Many parents will deliberately raise thier children to become this lonely and
isolated person to maintain the spirit of the mantra "what happens in the family, stays in the family."
A person who is lonely and isolated from his peers is much less likely to spill the beans to someone.
It has also been noted that children who display overly-precocious sexual knowledge or desires beyond thier
age tend to have been "sexually abused", although given the previous notes, society's definition of "sexual
abuse" can cover a wide range of things, and they could be merely experimenting with knowledge they would
not have gained from thier own age group. Others would say that they are managing what happened to them by
acting it out (which is one way to express that which you have no words to describe), but that is almost
saying the same thing.
My favorate philosopher has also noted "that which you do not get angry about and damn as evil, you will
repeat onto others, because you have not acknowledged it as wrong"
The bias of people who suffer from pedophilia to rationalize and justify thier desires is very strong and I've
noticed has a sublte encroaching nature, and
I take fully into consideration that I am talking out my ass for some desperate way to justify this wishful
thinking. This is also why I had once left InkBunny "for good" out of moral outrage; if pedophilia itself
is wrong in principle, I cannot logically enjoy cub, because I try to keep my principles consistent.
"But ancient societies practiced pedophilia, so it might be okay, right?"
This is something I'd like to debunk right now. While it is true that child abuse occurred much more in the past,
I would disagree that it was in any kind of healthy society. Peoples of the past tended to live in very insane and
rapey societies relative to what modern countries have today. If anything, the prevailance of child rape in primitive
societies and it's correlated decrease in progressively more advanced societies is an argument against pedophilia,
not in favor of it. People in the past were generally NOT more mentally healthy than modern people, and usually much
less so.
So, feel free to discuss, debate and contribute to either side of the issue. I am hoping someone can bring some more
compelling arguments for the "against pedophilia" side; I feel like I cannot effectively make that argument in my
current state of bias.
Jokes and clowning are welcome too, but insincere words of wounding (passive aggression) are not.
