Some of you may know that I have spent the last few days in the hospital again started getting sick on the first spent my whole birthday throwing up everything feeling really lousy and ended up going to the hospital that next day and just got out late yesterday afternoon.
I still feel lousy as hell, can barely swallow food I don't know if there's still something wrong or not, but if this keeps up I'm probably going back I can only take small bites of food and then have to choose them to the consistency of baby food before swallowing ( no fun intended) if not it feels like a goes down my throat and stops and then I have to struggled to swallow water to clear my throat and it is very very painful.
Also looks like I will be wearing diapers again 24/7 for a while will have to go get some this afternoon Jimmy has already been over wanting to go to the store but at the time I was still feeling really lousy my chest hurts all the time I was a little dizzy but I have to get down to get my medications filled and get some stuff for the house and for dinner I don't know if I want to cook tonight or not last night I ordered subs and wings and I couldn't even sit down and enjoying my sub because I couldn't hardly even eat it.
I appreciate everything that Jimmy does he come over here and take care of the house for me and my cats while I was laid up in the hospital and that was very cool, they said a long time ago I think I was 25 had had diabetes for 10 years it would get harder and harder to control and things will get more difficult well I guess that's starting now the two thousands were not very good years for me and the more and more I look at stuff the more drugs they want me to take, for instance I have chronic neck and back pain and shoulder pain it does not go away ever I have had it for about five years now maybe longer but I do not want to get addicted to a opiate drug and ibuprofen and stuff like that did not even do anything for relief and less you are taking about 10 to 12 of them every couple of hours.
I have been through a hell of a lot sometimes I sit back and wonder if it might be better if I just say go ahead and take me I am tired of hurting all the time people wonder why don't smile anymore or act like I'm having a good time even at places where I feel the most comfort colorable like at a furmeet or something or running around in fursuit something I love doing but don't get to do too often, it is because I am in constant pain all the time stuck at a house were I'm borrowing the neighbors Internet for the past 3 years because I can afford my own (hopefully that problem will be fixed) not being able to get into my own car and go where I want to go when I want to go there. Sorry for all the bitching I just feel miserable lousy and useless.
6 years, 5 months ago
08 Nov 2012 01:01 CET