Today i held my best friend as he passed on.
Shade my Spitts lab mix. sollid black with the whitest skin you'd ever seen.
loving fathfull to a fualt loyial lerned to be what he is by watching my Shade.
To day we had to go to the vet he stopped eating on his own and was not keeping anything down.
after some blood work i found out his kidnes were gone way gone. and his liver was basickly there to.
One of the hardest things ever to do i had to do today. i had to make the desision to let him go.
With my hands on him and after over an hour of saying good by i felt his last breath and his final heartbeet.
to say im shatterd would be putting it lightly.
I keep thinking of him looking around during the ride.
he was still a little active .. would even wag after he got moving. but he was lethargic and slow to respond.
i'm crying again and cant stop.
my boy. my good boy i love you .. i dont know what i will do now.
he was my all and i was his all.
a pet is different when you have no one else in your world to truly be with you in soledarity.
he was a butifull ugly SOB all joints and elbows and warm and cuddely wouldn't leave your side.
and was one hell of an escpe artist if given half a chance.
why is it i keep thinking from his POV then mine then what i will do without him there.
my misfit of a half balled mut who almost never licked you.
Was so shy it was funny.
Would hide behind you in any situation.
And then in a split second stand there and protect you like the bravest warrior youve ever seen.
Then try to climb on you when it rained.
My Shade my boy my Dog. a pice of my soul goes with you to day.
This will be the first night i've had to sleep alone in over 10 years. your breth your head pushing up to get pets and scritches and wanting to be pet and cuddled.
Back to back warm and soft wich the acashonal jab of a random joint.
your Huffing and breathing to tell you Hay dad i needa go pee.
Walking up to your chair and slapping it with his tail to get your atintion.
Try to make him wait to long and the quiet back then the slightly louder one... untill you took him. out.
Then you find out he can actuily bark when someone knocks on the door.
The feeling of warm air comming from behind when you walk up huffing on me to you hbad so many difrerent ways to say i neda go out.
Or to lean on ya and say... i love you ... me want rubs and scritches.
now i walk into an empty room.
your not there sitting on the bed giving a wag or two and looking away in your omega way.
you never did like most dog games. wouldnt play tug. toss a ball and he'd look at you like what now.
But would thack you in the face with that thick tail and make you try to catch it all happy.
oh the day you figured out you could pick stuff up with your tows ..
you staring at your paw figuring out how to move them individualy was something else.
i love you Shade .. my good boy .. my bogeboo my bestest
my doreto ear half bald gray muzzled solid black dog with big stark white blotches.
Say hello to moka foxy gizmo kadberry and gitters for me.
and let them know i'm ok and i still think of them all the time.
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1 month, 2 weeks ago
18 Jul 2025 20:06 CEST
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