Hello!
I kind of want to talk about a subject i've been through the last few months i haven't been able to put words on before now.
In the last few months i've had feelings i cannot explain other than having body and social dysphoria, essentially due to everything i've been through this and last year it's become too much for me and my brain have been forced to distance itself from everything and i've spent the last few weeks working on resetting myself.
This reset have forced upon me to mature into an adult(yay...), though this means i have been forced to rethink everything about myself and my approach on things and on what i enjoy(ed).
At this point i don't know if i have a future in this fandom or online anymore, it's hard to explain for me but, I don't really feel any interest in doing this anymore and at this point i just want to buy a house far away from everyone that i can slowly renovate and live comfortably.
I still struggle about working things out but trust me that i am in a better state now, been away from work and not worrying if i'm able to get back to work have helped me get better.
I think the hardest thing would be to leave this fandom, i've been here for so long it would be so hard to say goodbye, to even know what i would do with my time if i stop checking this site all the time, though the hardest part is to walk away but sometimes it might be for the best.
And yes i am saying by this that being part of this fandom is an childish endeavor and a way to say anyone here refuses to grow up and move on with their lives.
I'm aware of all that and still it's hard to move on and stop being part of something i've loved for so long.
Anyway, don't really know what the point of this journal was, if you read till the end i will salute you.
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2 days, 17 hrs ago
25 Jun 2025 22:07 CEST
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