It's nice to see all the journey I've had with drawing in such a short time, and to see that today it's my main job makes me feel proud of myself in that sense, it was something I could only dream of before practically, but now it's becoming a reality and it makes me happy to see the support I get and the kindness with which people who follow my content treat me, although lately I don't do much as before, I'm trying to change that.
Because for a while now I've been feeling a bit pressured, or rather saturated, I think that's the right word, I feel saturated with things that have happened with my family and around me, I have more weight on me than I should, and by writing this I think it's a way to let off steam since this has been a safe little place since I arrived, and it feels cozy to have a little space here in this community.
The vast majority of people who talk to me are very nice and I like that a lot, and seeing that they like what I do makes me happy, it makes me want to continue doing it with love.
cuz it's both a hobby and my main job.
My mother has been in poor health for several months now, I wanted to think it wouldn't be something too serious, but all the doctors we went to said that she had to have surgery to cure it.
At the beginning it didn't worry me so much because I thought I had the support of my paternal family above all, since they were always saying that they were going to support me in whatever I needed since my father passed away, when they went abroad all those words were empty and now it seems that they are millionaires and I am a nobody because sometimes they don't even bother to answer me a message to know how they are doing.
When I asked them if they could help me with my mother's expenses so that I wouldn't have to pay for it all by myself, only one aunt helped me a little, and then she almost completely gave up, and now I'm left practically alone with those expenses because nobody else cares about what happens to us (referring to the family), as if we were the black sheep of the family just because we are not materialistic and don't go around pretending to have a social status.
It makes me sad to know that really those words of always were only false, because I don't care so much that they don't support monetarily, they don't even bother to ask about the situation and give emotional support anymore, they only bother with my mom as if she was to blame for getting sick, that made me realize that we are really alone in this and in whatever else.
That's why I apologize if I'm taking a while to deliver the pending commissions, normally I would deliver them quickly, but sometimes it's hard for me to get to work because I'm always carrying all that in my mind.
I have tried to go little by little with it because at the end of the day it is still my job so I can't leave it aside and I don't have other options that allow me to cover my expenses in order to live comfortably.
Also I guess I have a hard time answering messages because of that, I don't do it to ignore, I don't like to ignore people, but my mood sometimes is not the right one to keep a conversation going for a long time as it could be normally:(
The only thing I plan to do is to keep doing what I do, and do what I can, I try to design adoptables regularly and I am trying to make a commission sheet and see if I can put together what I need to help my mom to be able to do it on my own.
I'm originally writing this in my main language (Spanish) for convenience, maybe I'll translate it with Google translate, mostly because of the mood I'm in right now.
But I guess I was able to get a little bit off my chest with this, thank you so much for reading this if you made it this far, I really appreciate it, and I really appreciate the support you give me daily here, Thank you 🫂.
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3 months, 1 week ago
29 Apr 2025 08:09 CEST
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