"HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE." - Allied Mastercomputer, I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream.
This monologue really resonates with me. Not because I relate to it, but more because of what it represents for me. There's a reason I don't talk about politics, and this is why. Whether you're on one side or another, people will tear you to shreds over the slightest disagreement, and then say that only they have the answer.
I'm a bit of a nihilist in that sense. I distrust all parties, and all figures. If they represent me so much, why do they vie for my approval?
It's all so tiring, and I urge everyone to take a break from politics as much as you can, every once in a while. Believe me when I say that awareness is not always a blessing, and that you can have too much of it.
In fact, I've been pondering if I'm too aware of the issues with my art too. Oftentimes, I will wake up in the morning and spot several glaring issues with my pieces, and wind up never inking or uploading them. It's paralysing, and perfectionism is a curse. I suppose that's the main reason I don't often upload - I generally only upload gift art because the giftee likes it, even if I myself see a few flaws that I'm surprised weren't mentioned. We are our own worst critic in that sense. AM's words often summarise my thoughts when looking at my art a few hours after finishing something.
I enjoy art, but perfectionism seems to be unconquerable, no matter how long of a break I take from drawing, no matter what it is I draw. Be it furry, non-furry, kinky, not kinky, fanfiction, not fanfiction.
On the plus side, I guess this is a sign I know what I need to do to improve, so I am more likely to improve faster?
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2 months, 4 weeks ago
06 Apr 2025 20:33 CEST
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