So, first let me get it out of the way that I don't think I can take on commissions with a clear conscience at this point. I don't want to have a list of unfinished/owed art when I'm not sure I'll have the ability to work on it soon. Not that many people seemed interested at the new prices anyway, which I totally understand. I'll obviously be finishing up anything that I still owe, hopefully this week, and I plan to do some more "funded sketch" (SAP) type stuff to at least have money for food in the short term. I should have been done with owed art a while ago but instead spent the last month in very seriously bad mental and physical health, struggling to even with doing vital day-to-day stuff, which I guess leads into the update on my current situation...
In a month or maybe two at most, I'll probably be homeless. I've spent weeks trying to figure something out, hoping something might change, weighing my options... but it just seems like no matter what I try, there's just no way for me to improve my situation. My physical and mental health are at lows I have never experienced before, which makes anything I do try extremely difficult. I have very few people left in my life, and none are in a situation to help me. Even with help, I'm just not sure what would even fix my issues at this point. The job market is not exactly brimming with opportunities for someone in my condition and lack of skills, and it doesn't seem like things are going to get better on a country-wide level anytime soon. Part of why my physical health is so awful is from past shitty jobs screwing up my back, and I simply lack the ability to do any heavy lifting now, which is required for most jobs. Even cashiers are expected to also do stock jobs at most places I've worked, and if you can't do that they're not interested in hiring you.
So unless someone out there needs a live-in cook or something, I probably won't be around much after this month. I'd like to say it's been fun being an artist in this community, but in all honesty I'm just a failure. I feel like never reached my full potential, was never consistent, didn't make a lot of friends, and never managed to make more than enough money to barely scrape by. The only consolation I have is that some people do seem to enjoy my art for whatever reason, so thank you to everyone who's stuck with me even through all my bullshit. Thank you for all the support and kindness over the last 15+ years on here that I certainly didn't deserve. I'm sorry I couldn't be a better person, a better artist, and a better friend.
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1 month, 3 weeks ago
13 Mar 2025 17:39 CET
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