I started the year off with a bang, getting one thing done that i've been meaning to for ages. A new computer desk! Yay!
...
only to fall at the first hurdle on day 1, with the fact my car couldn't fit the box. It was another 2 weeks or so of anxiety before I had it delivered, due to the ambiguous chance of getting someone else's car or trailer to do it. But, you know, that means awkward, face to face human interaction, and sometimes I seem to need a whole lot of time and energy to build up the courage to do that, and there often isn't a lot to go around when you're stuck at work all day.
To the extent that it seems to have been almost a full year since I've actually used my computer, living on my phone instead. I don't like it. I desperately need to build the table and move and set up my computer... but it's now the end of February.
I've otherwise spent a lot of time, thought and energy focussed on a warhammer project since christmas, only to fumble it and choke before the deadline of a game, overwhelmed by the amount of work left to do in getting the army ready and the impending social element of playing the game.
Maybe it's all down to a birthday early in the year, quickly followed by "oh right, it's valentine's day" yet again. Maybe it's just this time of the year, every year, that stresses me out as a result? Maybe it's not having enough time off from work, and then when you have a free weekend it all just catches up with you and you become so emotionally overwhelmed from the burnout that you just don't know where the time went or what to do about it?
Yesterday was fine. I took the day to just rest, watch some streams, chill with the cats. But today has not been fine. I may have gotten some chores done, but it hasn't improved my mood.
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1 week, 1 day ago
23 Feb 2025 04:27 CET
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