Well, this was delayed, and I don’t think that we did a May version of this, so, whoops. Time to give a bit more info, I guess.
Things have been rather interesting over the course of April and May. I’ve been up and down regarding keeping up with work. I’ve done a fair bit of it, of course, but at the same time, I ran into a whole lot of, well, life. It was one thing to do my writing work with nothing else on my plate, nothing but working and providing another source of money to my family over the course of many, many years. It’s something else entirely to do this sort of thing as a job for myself when I have another chunk of my life that I want to live. To the people that manage this day in and day out and still live a good life for themselves, you have even more of my respect than before, and I had a lot of that already.
I have yet to find that balance, but I am getting better at it. Little by little, I am experimenting, finding good things in life, enjoying them where I can. And – in a way that’s kind of good, kind of bad – I’m learning how to admit what things I don’t like, too. Which is important, because it means that I can acknowledge when my life has something in it that I don’t want, but at the same time, it’s a bit awkward because there’s that whole feeling of being a little more miserable because I’m more aware of the feeling instead of burying it.
But such is the complexity of life.
Things are a bit slow at the moment, as I’m currently in London, as was the tradition pre-COVID to visit a friend outside the country for a month or two. The plan was to come here for two months again, and that means doing things more slowly – much more slowly, but still doing things – but it’s also different this time.
In the past, all my visits to the UK were genuinely an escape from a rather dull, constrictive sort of life. I enjoyed pieces of my family, and there were things that I would occasionally miss about being with them in the UK, but I was never homesick to the same degree most people are. This time, however, I feel more…off. I miss my apartment, my roommate, my time in my own kitchen, having this feeling of living my own life, and all that.
To be clear, it’s not a *bad* feeling, but it is a huge contrast, like there’s more that I’m missing by not being home than before. Not enough to make me feel miserable here, but I am more homesick than I’ve ever been before, and it makes two months feel like a bit of a bad decision in hindsight.
But, I guess it’s all part of the learning process.
So, those are most of the updates with the ‘state of the writer’ stuff. I’ll be doing a Pride Month journal hopefully later this week, we’ll see, so I’ll yap about my thoughts on Pride, asexuality, and more.
