In this journal entry I'm going to attempt something new. I often like to listen to music when working on my stories and very often the lyrics get interpreted through the lens of the story. My stories have "soundtracks" if you will. Bits&Bobs is no exception, and in particular, The Mischievous Mistletoe (TMM) has quite a few songs attached to it. Recently a new song has become closely associated with TMM, Coldplay's "Talk". The words fit very well with the story's events. I imagine Talk as a kind of Outro to the end of Part III of TMM (kinda like end credits until the next episode). The song nicely encapsulates Kyaw's feelings and thoughts at around this time. It captures the uncertainty he has about his relationship with Sven as well as his identity moving forward. Here I'd like to discuss the songs lyrics and there meaning within my story.
For reference, here are the complete Lyrics:
Coldplay - X&Y - Talk
INTRO
Oh, bother, I can't, I can't get through
I've been trying hard to reach you 'cause I don't know what to do
Oh, brother, I can't believe it's true
I'm so scared about the future, and I want to talk to you
Oh, I wanna to talk to you ...
REFRAIN I
You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done
FIRST VERSE
Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle?
You can't find you missing piece
Tell me, how you feel?
Well, I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me
REFRAIN II
So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done
Or do something that's never been done
BRIDGE
[Intrumental Interlude]
SECOND VERSE
So you don't know where you're going and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You tell anyone who'll listen, but you feel ignored
Nothing's really making any sense at all
Let's Talk, let's talk
Let's Talk, let's talk
Before I go into it's interpretation in the context of TMM, let me give a little background of this track, the album it comes from and the band behind it.
Coldplay is a well known band that got it's start around 2000. Their first 3 albums they consider to be tied together as a kind of spiritual trilogy of sorts, and it shows; the three albums blend seamlessly into one another forming a clear unified musical palette. As such I've come to regard these three albums as one work, their break out debut that lead to all of their future success. Each album had one particular standout track that went on to become very successful all on its own. In their very first album, Parachutes, that was Yellow. In their second album, A Rush of Blood to the Head, it was the even more successful and well known track Clocks. In their third and final album in the "trilogy", X&Y, it was the well known and popular track Talk. In short, this trilogy is a kind of distillation of their early hits, their rise to stardom, and an era for the band and music of the early 2000s.
What significance does it have to be personally? Well ... surprisingly not much. I just found it only very recently, mostly during the most active period of writing Part III of TMM. I stumbled upon it accidently, actually hearing the song Fix Me from X&Y first and wanting to find out where it came from because it sounded familiar. I realized that this band was a goldmine of music I'd heard all my life but never really paid much mind to and didn't really know where it came from. I ended up listening to all three albums on repeat as I wrote the latter half of Mistletoe III. It has this kind of pristine, nostalgic, melancholic feeling to it through out that I think goes perfectly with cold weather and bittersweet feelings, which is a pretty good description of the vibes of TMM. Although several songs from the Coldplay trilogy took on special meaning, Talk was the clear standout by the end of Part III. It just felt like the perfect send off, where we see the cracks in Sven's and Kyaw's "friendship" beginning to show.
We know that Sigmund has introduced many uncertainties and insecurities in regards to Kyaw's thinking, and this song just happens to dovetail very well with this. It also just has the right sort of "vibe". I view Mistletoe through a kind of nostalgic "lens", as if the characters were reflecting on a long forgotten childhood past, even though it's written in third person present tense most of the time. It's a kind of sad but touching looking back. This applies to Sven just as well as it does Kyaw, and there are many mixed emotions involved.
With that context in mine, let's look at the lyrics and see how they relate to the story.
There are basically 6 parts to the song, however parts 2 and 4 are essentially the same, the only difference being that the last line repeats twice the second time around. Let's go through the 6 parts and their interpretation:
INTRO
The song opens with what sounds like cold wind. A single guitar riff is heard dimly in the distance, as if barely recalled. It then breaks into full song as if we have been magically teleported back to the time only dimly remembered. The riff is beautiful but also hauntingly sad, yet it ends on a happy note suggesting that there was a time when something amazing was possible.
Oh, bother, I can't, I can't get through
I've been trying hard to reach you 'cause I don't know what to do
In Part I school has ended for the winter recess. Kyaw and Sven walk to Sven's house together. After Sven goes into the house to get his sleigh, leaving Kyaw alone and vulnerable just outside the house, Sigmund, Sven's older half-brother, shows up and tells Kyaw to stop hanging out with his brother. He also tells him he's destined to grow up and become gay and Sven doesn't need his sort around. He already has "good friends" who will "look out for him".
Kyaw runs home, and because it's the 80s has no real way to contact Sven and find out if any of this is true. There's no internet, no cellphones, only landlines. Kyaw can't even call because he doesn't know Sven's number and even if he did he'd have to get through Sven's parents and older brother to be able to speak to him.
In these first two lines, Kyaw is lamenting his inability to make contact with Sven. He "can't get through". He has been trying hard to reach him. Kyaw doesn't know what to do, because Sigmund has introduced all kinds of doubts into his mind.
Oh, brother, I can't believe it's true
I'm so scared about the future, and I want to talk to you
Oh, I wanna to talk to you ...
Kyaw can't believe that Sven doesn't want to see him again. He also doesn't want to believe that there is something wrong with him and that he's destined to grow up as something bad.
He's scared about the future, in the sense of what he will become. He wants to talk to Sven to help him sort out his feelings and because Sven is a source of comfort to him. On a deeper level he loves Sven and he doesn't want to be cut off from him. He's also scared of a future in which Sven abandons him.
REFRAIN I
You can take a picture of something you see
A picture symbolically represents holding onto memories. This is a non-literal request of Kyaw to at least have a momento for their friendship when it may be coming to an end.
In the future where will I be
This is not just a question Kyaw is asking of himself, but wants to ask of Sven. He wants to know what he actually thinks.
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Whimsical language and being able to do the impossible quite easily. Metaphorically speaking, Kyaw is saying they can do anything together. They don't have to be bound by the laws of nature.
Or write a song nobody has sung
The deeply held belief that one can do something new and transformative in the world.
Or do something that's never been done
The music changes for this last one. Specifically it ends on a musical cliff as if it's incomplete. It's a promise of the possibility without it actually happening. In Kyaw's mind, the thing that's "never been done" is for two boys to love each other and be together. Now of course, this has been done before, but from the perspective of a sheltered 6 year old stuck in a conservative backwater town it would seem like something from another world. An imaginary possibility hoped for but one even Kyaw is too afraid to speak of openly, but feels deeply. On a more philosophical level though, this line means to me, again the idea that, transformation is possible. If we see everything as mundane and ordinary that is what it will be. Every love is unique and can be something new, if we are open to experiencing it that way.
FIRST VERSE
Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle?
You can't find you missing piece
Here Kyaw is actually talking to Sven. He senses that Sven himself has doubts. That something is missing in Sven's life, but he can't figure out what it is. He feels stifled in some way that doesn't allow him to be fully himself.
Tell me, how you feel?
Well, I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me
Now it is Sven who asks the question. How does Kyaw feel?
When Kyaw responses that he feels like "they're talking in a language I don't speak" he is referring to how he doesn't understand other boys. "And they're talking it to me" also ends on a musical cliff. Kyaw is lamenting that he is forced to engage in this world of boyhood he does not understand. It holds a sadness in it that speaks to his sense of isolation and rejection.
REFRAIN II
So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done
Or do something that's never been done
The metaphors paint a picture of a transcendent (pagan?) belief in the impossible and transformative in the actual world. This second time around the last line is repeated twice and it is said with a certain wistful hope. Kyaw is lingering on that tantalizing possibility that they can be together, and not just as friends ...
BRIDGE
[Instrumental Interlude]
The song then goes into the bridge, a quiet and kind of mysterious contemplation of the numinous as we hear an electronic keyboard floating above the rest of the music. Then a short repeated pattern of notes is layered on top as if asking a question over and over again. Suddenly a loud guitar riff enters the scene as if all the pain and torment of the memory has come crashing in. Missed opportunities, mistakes, regret, that which was tantalizingly close yet just out of reach ...
SECOND VERSE
So you don't know where you're going and you wanna talk
In this final section it is now Sven who speaks. Here he reiterates what Kyaw has said.
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
This refers to Kyaw's prior rejections. Things start out nice, then problems ensue, finally he's disengaged with for being "strange" and "different".
You tell anyone who'll listen, but you feel ignored
At this point, Sven is actually talking more about himself than Kyaw. He feels ignored, like his actual feelings don't matter, but he senses that maybe just maybe, Kyaw feels this too, and if so they have something common that connects them.
Nothing's really making any sense at all
Sven finally admits that he doesn't understand any of this, what he's feeling, where this is going ...
Let's Talk, let's talk
Let's Talk, let's talk
Sven responds to Kyaw in kind. "Let's Talk" because Sven has questions too. He doesn't want to run away from feelings anymore. He wants to understand this thing he doesn't understand.
Welp, that's all I got. As far as songs matching up with my stories go, this one is pretty on the nose for the most part. Most lines have pretty clear interpretations. I swear I did not write the story based on this song. It just so happens that it fits it pretty well. Like a lot of popular music, the lyrics are intentionally vague and never actually say what needs to be talked about. This way almost anyone can relate it to anything going on in their lives. However I don't think it's a stretch to notice some homoromantic undertones to the song, intentional or not. "Let's Talk" in particular is said in a sentimental way that you wouldn't normally hear one guy say to another. It's clear these two are very close friends and this is the one person whom the main speaker feels he can talk about extremely personal experiences with, perhaps ones that wouldn't make sense to most people. This also can't be mistaken for a traditional "love song", where some guy is pinning over a girl. The opening line "Oh brother" makes that perfectly clear. Also also the lines are suggestive of something transgressive, otherwise why all the angst?
Anyway, this is just my interpretation of the song, and what it means to me and my story. I hope you enjoyed.
Signed,
Zivrshka
