I don't know if you remember my last journal entries, but worry not, this is going to be less dramatic.
------------------
[Name Change]
You may have noticed I changed my name at some point this year.
There is no big reveal or reason. I simply didn't feel like it suited me anymore ; the old username was from almost literally a lifetime ago ; this one is better fitting. I also like it better.
------------------
[Art news]
You may have guessed it but my mental state isn't exactly top notch.
The thing is, I want to draw sometimes, but considering I don't feel well, I find it hard drawing happy things*. it feels so surreal to me.
I am (probably) not the only person with mental problems (just probably the only one vocal about it) but I don't understand how others do it ; feeling bad and yet drawing porn, nsfw, or happy things. It's such opposites that it makes no sense to me and it's beyond me. I am sorry for not giving better news on that front.
*From experience, this what attracts people and what people want to see. I don't mean it as a blame or anything ; it's natural. Life sucks, you don't want people's drama on top of yours. You like cubs because it's cute and innocent, you want to get away from your problems. It's natural and also what I like and want from art (most of the time).
------------------
[New year stuff]
Goodbye 2023.
I won't miss you, but I will remember you and 2022 as the worst years of my life.
I won't miss people or family dying. I won't miss people leaving me to die. I won't miss losing a fortune (over a year of salary) in money.
I don't expect 2024 to be much better but I don't expect it to be worse (unless I literally die, it's going to be difficult, really).
Funnily, here, where I live, the weather is super shit. it's raining and cold.
I am also very sick (I've been since the 20th), and so are people of my family. I also don't get a family reunion or anything, I'm staying alone and I get up in about 5 hours from the moment i'll post this journal because of work. it's fitting to end such a bad year on a bad note.
Happy New Year to everyone reading this!
(it sounds ironic, but It actually isn't. I mean it, I do wish *you* a happy 2024!)
| Viewed: |
34 times |
| Added: |
1 year, 3 months ago
31 Dec 2023 22:15 CET
|
|
|
