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Crap + Fan = Zidane Headbutt

What a crazy week it has been. I had originally hoped to finally get back to doing some artwork and no sooner than the day after I left my house to go to Professor Awesome's house, did the shit hit the fan. Things started out okay, my 90-year-old grandma, who's been visit from North Carolina since May went back home with family after they came to pick her up. It's been a bit stressful to an extent having her here though it was nice seeing her especially considering how old she is and that I may not get to see her again. The stressful part comes from some of my family, particularly my eldest brother using her presence like a shield to do what they want and not have to worry about any retaliation from me or anyone else. It's like being blocked by a piece in chess and I didn't want to start any confrontations in front of my grandma. With her going back home, I'm finally able to call bullshit when I see it and I wouldn't be as bound to the house as I have been this month.

Or so I thought.

My mom went to the emergency room at the local hospital earlier this week due to breathing problems. She was admitted to the hospital and has been there several days now. It's been nerve wracking for the past few days for me with her in the hospital and not being able to do anything about it. Turns out she has a combination of emphysema and bronchitis. She's a big smoker though she quit a few years ago and got hooked back on it again. Of course having sixteen chickens crapping all over the basement for weeks on end isn't going to be good for anyone's lungs but it was only recently that my mom and dad reconsidered the thought of putting the chickens outside regardless of the status of the construction of the chicken coop (it still isn't finished yet for the same reasons as last year's coop).

I've been visiting my mom everyday along with my sister. She's been making a good recovery, slow but improving. She's no longer confined to isolation and can go and walk around the hospital and get food at the snack bar though she's still very weak. The doctors think she may also have a weak heart that only compounds the problems she now faces. It took some convincing to get my middle brother to go visit her as he seems to be more concerned with getting pot than visiting but he eventually showed up though he wouldn't go with me and my sister. Better than not showing up at all at least. But when it comes to my eldest brother, he hasn't visited at all despite how much my mom coddles him and pays for everything he wants. I haven't talked to him about it yet but it's yet another thing that's making me mad. On a side note, after visiting my mom today, I come home to find the front door slightly ajar and that all the chickens held a pooping party inside the house. -sigh- And what a mess it was. At first I thought that somehow maybe a dog or my cat opened it but then I found water around the toilet meaning that someone was here when I was gone and flushed the toilet. The pipes are bad and leak in a certain pattern on the floor whenever you flush and it's easy to discern. I haven't figured out just who was here yet but I'll get to the bottom of it. Whoever it was left the door open enough either for another animal to open it further or just left it open enough to let the chickens in. Either way, I'm not happy about it.

On top of my mom being in the hospital, I got hit with another bombshell. Now my mom has a month to go back to her job or she's going to be fired but I found out just last night that my dad may be in jeopardy of losing his job too around November. Well, he might not exactly "lose" it but get transferred but there is no way he could drive even father than what he already does. He drives 50 miles to work (and that's just one way!) almost everyday and there is no way he can drive even further. Of course gas prices are more than double what they used to be way back when he first got his job as a corrections officer. He's the big bread winner of my family and he has practically kept the family afloat financially for years now. He's only a few more years from retiring with a good pension too.

If worse comes to worse, my mother will still be decent but fragile health after she get's out of the hospital and possibly lose her job and my dad might lose his job, leaving my family with no income whatsoever. I still haven't been able to get any employment myself after my family sabotaged my Wal-mart janitor job back in April of 2010 so I'm still stuck being completely dependent on my parents unless I manage to land some employment by November. It's a slap in the face when I hear the stupid propaganda on the news about how employment is rising in the area I live and unemployment is going down. People like me aren't included in the mathematical gymnastic-like equation for area unemployment. People who still don't have jobs and whose unemployment benefits have finally run out aren't counted and people who have never been hired before and are trying to get employment are not counted. This one official was even saying that there are less people on food stamps around here so that must mean that unemployment has gone down, right? Wrong, the food stamp program here requires you to work at least some type of job. If you don't have a job, you don't get food stamps. Sometimes they (the government) will give you something to work but the program has been so overloaded that most people on food stamps without regular jobs may only work the job they are given once a month because of the sheer amount of people on food stamps. These jobs entail stuff like mowing grass for a few hours once a month, yes, ONCE A MONTH, on abandoned property. They really don't have employment to give out besides tiny amounts of busy work that amount to nothing. If they can't give you even the most useless hour or two long job a month, then they can't have you on the food stamp roll. But it's spun like the area is improving and jobs are coming back, just in time for election season this fall. Isn't that convenient?

I just don't know what to do. I can't seem to get any employment and if both my parents lose their jobs by November, I doubt that they will be able to find employment let alone decent enough employment to pay the bills. It's really got me worried about the future not only for myself but for my mom and dad. I don't expect much help from my siblings (with maybe the exception of my sister) if things go for the worse. I'm going to keep job hunting and applying to what I find but if my luck doesn't pick up soon, things could be looking really bad for me and my family come the end of the year.


So I had to take a break from typing this journal to deal with my eldest brother and his girlfriend showing up to the house. I haven't seen my eldest brother in a while and I had some choice words for him for not making any attempt visiting my mom in the hospital. Things got heated and I brought on my whole list of grievances of shit he has caused around the house, to me, and to the rest of my family. Well, it had an interesting conclusion to say the least.

My eldest brother headbutted me. No joke, he seriously headbutted me in the face.

I didn't fight back, I didn't throw a punch. I just stood there. It was weird, I didn't feel the pain at first but then I started to feel warm blood on my face and found I was bleeding. I have about what I think is an inch-long gash on my nose and it's a little too bloody for me to be able to measure it properly. I'm waiting right now for my dad to get back from town with some medical supplies (turns out we don't have anything here) and I think I'll take up his offer to take me down to the emergency room to get some stitches. It's been a bit and my gash doesn't look like it's going to stop bleeding anytime soon. I took some pictures of it cause I know my other siblings are going to want to see what happened.  

So I told my eldest brother to fuck off and never to show his face back here again though I know he will come back. He ALWAYS comes back but that's mainly becuase my parents let him do so regardless of any previous action even though he doesn't even live here anymore. Maybe it's about time I just say fuck it and get out of here. I'm done with dealing with my eldest brother and all the crap he causes. I've been sternest out of everyone but even then I've been pretty damn lenient with dealing with and he's had far too many extra chances to redeem himself instead of being a pain in everyone's rear end and their wallets as well.

I really don't know what I'm going to do now. I suppose first things first is to get my nose mended up at the emergency room once my dad gets back. Maybe I'll head over to my friend Professor Awesome's house for a bit and have some peace and quiet to myself and time to think.

As for artwork, if I do go over to Professor Awesome's house then maybe I might be able to work on something but my head is spinning a little too much to really plan ahead. I do want to get DD66 done sometime soon as it is ridiculously overdue but it's been really hard to get any artwork done at all. It really is just one thing after another for me to deal with and real life crap comes first. But for those of you optimists out there, there is a decent chance I may have something new to show for in the next coming days. I had talked with Professor Awesome previously about maybe doing some art detailing the currency and a map of Relma sometime but like most potential projects, I can't make any sort of guarantee on it, especially now.

Man, getting headbutted sucks. I'm surprised a pokemon didn't come out of my nose.
Viewed: 7 times
Added: 6 years, 10 months ago
6 years, 10 months ago
" Maybe it's about time I just say fuck it and get out of here.

I've never understood why you haven't done that before.
6 years, 10 months ago
It's a complicated matter. It's very difficult for me to truly leave when I can't even afford to buy my gas for my car, let alone food or anything else for that matter, without someone else's financial assistance. Until I can get employment and make my own money, I'm stuck being dependent one way or another. I need food to live and even going to someone else's house still leaves me dependent in my current situation. I don't like the notion of being a burden to others, especially those that aren't even family.
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