Sorry for absence..

Im sorry this account has been so quiet and I'm taking a while on things. Depression is a real pain in my ass and I just haven't had the desire to do much of anything in life lately x__X I'm really sorry to the people I owe some things to and I really do appreciate the patience.. I just don't know how to get my muse back. Its so painful to sit here and try to draw then erase because I feel it doesn't look good enough. Which causes more depression to spawn.

For those that don't know, November was a really disappointing month.. I was supposed to be put on the list for a cornea transplant but the cornea specialist I was sent to basically just belittled and taunted me for not being capable of doing sclera lens' instead(That's another long story on their own.) I basically left the hospital in a crying mess and my depression has really kept a hold over me since. I feel like a pathetic creature x__x On top of that, I got the courage to apply for a part time job with a company I worked for way back when and basically got told yes.. but no at the same time? I got "put on a waitlist" and sometimes that's just their lazy way of saying no.. and we could really use the extra income. With Christmas coming up, I keep looking at our bank account and wondering how Im going to make this work for the kids.. We don't even have a tree and I feel so awful for this..

IM SORRY FOR VENTING. Im just stressed and depressed =w= weh..

ilu guys.. Trust me when I say I'm trying to kick myself in the ass to work but.. its hard.

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Added:	5 years, 2 months ago 11 Dec 2019 17:52 CET

8 Comments on this Journal

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starlyte

5 years, 2 months ago

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Edited 5 years, 2 months ago by Owner

That doc needs lose their license. I'd report them if there's some kind of union or organization that rates em and all. It's not his job to criticize you. His job is to give you the best treatment tailored to your needs. If you can't do one then you do the other. Fuck him and goto another specialist. Hell after that you could possibly just call one and they give you the okay or something.
Also nothing pathetic about ya. We all been there at the lowest of the low. You hit that point and gotta claw your way back up. Do yall do a real or fake tree? I'd say if real just go out and get a cheaper fake tree just so you have one and keep it for times like this. Any tree better than no tree. And no worries for the vent. Sometime we just gotta let it out to help relieve some of the weight on our shoulders.
Also immediate looked into it. https://pocketsense.com/how-to-report-bad-doctors-12187...

mawmasoju

5 years, 2 months ago

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@ starlyte

For real :/ I talked to the office manager and husband and I are currently looking at reporting her to our insurance too since she literally did NOTHING my specialist sent me there for.. my specialist is pissed because she doesn't do surgeries anymore.

starlyte

5 years, 2 months ago

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Edited 5 years, 2 months ago by Owner

@ mawmasoju

Exactly. She just wasted everyones time and money, and caused you additional hardships because of it. Report the hell outta that bitch and yes goto another. Look into other states too.
Also what do you do? Real or fake tree?

mawmasoju

5 years, 2 months ago

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@ starlyte

We've changed it every year. Last year we did a real tree so if they're not too pricey we might try for one again since we already have a stand, lights, etc? But we're discussing getting a fake one. We don't care either way tbh

roninhunt0987

5 years, 2 months ago

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It's cool man oki

LilDooks

5 years, 2 months ago

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I know 100% how you feel love, I really wish I could help more than I feel like I'm able to. Please never hesitate to poke me and vent or talk or if you wanna call me you can, Idc, I will drop everything for you. I don't want you ever feeling like you would be bothering me. Cause you are incapable of bothering me. I wish I wasn't having financial issues myself I would send you a billion dollars and all the gifts for your kids ;_; you deserve the world, and your doctor can eat a dick, fuck that guy. I'll do the surgery >:V

mawmasoju

5 years, 2 months ago

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@ LilDooks

;____; see, depression tells me I bother people so I just sit here.. idk why.. I know people would help if they could cause I want to help everyone too and just can't too.. it sucks ;A;

Thankfully that cunt of a Dr isn't my normal specialist so we looking at other options I guess.