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Mon's friend, an eternal nerd, finally dropped his balls at age 30+

by Staph

https://inkbunny.net/j/350085

To give the guy some credit he's been apocalypsed by some of the most freakishly sexy shit in his inbox and he's been limp as a daisy.

I can't believe that it took us like 20 years to try something as simple as hand holding.

We just kept thinking it's gotta be something even freakier.

I feel really stupid we didn't try something very not sexy instead.

Obviously with a narcoplexic stoner head like him it's gotta be the most vanilla.

We all deserve a big slap on the cheek.

Viewed:	20 times
Added:	6 years, 4 months ago 15 Mar 2019 12:01 CET

105 Comments on this Journal

Leave a Comment...

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 4 months ago

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okay, this journal was unnecessary.

anyways welcome to this hell hole.

I'm sure you'll find exactly what you want here.

Staph

Staph

6 years, 4 months ago

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is that a goat with human hands in your avatar?

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 4 months ago

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yeah. someone sent me it in an email.

it was a photo and i edited it into a stencil and made it look like it's coming out of the tv.

Staph

Staph

6 years, 4 months ago

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great. my nightmares about the ring are going to go a whole new bizarre level.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 4 months ago

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don't be afraid. he only wants to shake your hand.

Staph

Staph

6 years, 4 months ago

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good thing then i don't have one

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 4 months ago

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aw c'mon. give 'em a hand.

Staph

Staph

6 years, 4 months ago

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yes.. master..

must find handed creature to feed to the well goat.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 4 months ago

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yeah he's a spirit that puts you in your own personal hand themed hell like yugioh

Staph

Staph

6 years, 4 months ago

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ah! can't stop secret handshaking!

i didn't know there were this many gang signs!

mute people are talking to me!

oh no! infinite circle game!!! XC

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 4 months ago

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the HAND has been dealt.

evil goatly laughter

Staph

Staph

6 years, 4 months ago

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i have a collection of hand puns if you want it.

don't ask me why i have it.

most of them are masturbation jokes.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 4 months ago

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sems an appropriate thing to post today

Staph

Staph

6 years, 4 months ago

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if we can get the damn servers working consistently.

you never realize how many of us there are until we all come at once.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 4 months ago

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WWS

Staph

Staph

6 years, 4 months ago

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i totally deserved that.

anyway see you around.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 4 months ago

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if i'm not ducking my fans for a few days yeah.

got good reason to avoid talking now.

Staph

Staph

6 years, 4 months ago

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get some work done you lazy shit

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 4 months ago

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whatever later

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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Edited 6 years, 3 months ago by Owner

"	Staph wrote:
	get some work done you lazy shit

yes

SammuWamm

.

please already.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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this week is pretty busy but i'm looking to get all my old stuff back and then try something.

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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you've been saying that a while

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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yeah well it's still true

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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and you call me a creep

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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only if you see it as perverse you weirdo

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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no that would you wouldn't it

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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you know you don't have to get all lusty when aroused.

drunk people can be sober if they want to be.

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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you're fucking begging

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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not with Staph. ew no! XC

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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why not?

they your type.

all nerdy and shit.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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nerdist

Staph

Staph

6 years, 3 months ago

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BillyFife

like i'd want to do it with John

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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okay that was unnecessary

Staph

Staph

6 years, 3 months ago

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"	SammuWamm wrote:
	not with Staph. ew no! XC

oh it was totally necessary

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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okay sorry and understandable

Staph

Staph

6 years, 3 months ago

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better be

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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Edited 6 years, 3 months ago by Owner

I like the whole idea of

SammuWamm

being like Lyra Heartstrings and being a hand obsessed goat.

also hand goat is the new creepy pasta.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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well that's 2 memes

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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this is journal worthy

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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then make a journal

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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it would make more sense for you to make journals about these things.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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okay that's fair.

here is the hand obsession thing:
https://inkbunny.net/j/350613-SammuWamm-sammu-heartstri...

and here is the creepy pasta thing:
https://inkbunny.net/j/350614-SammuWamm-handy-the-kid-b...

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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thanks

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 3 months ago

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aren't they kinda the same thing?

OrangeOlive

OrangeOlive

6 years, 3 months ago

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not to fanboys

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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fucking finally!

i've been trying to crack that guy for forever

Peggy

6 years, 3 months ago

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you are but a peon next to my struggles

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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that's true

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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are you calling spamming his inbox with porn 'your struggles'?

-because that's pretty shitty thing to do.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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exactly.

but yeah she's done other things as well that i've tolerated.

much milder things.

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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backhanded underplayment

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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Edited 6 years, 3 months ago by Owner

she deserves it.

both the good and the bad.

Peggy

6 years, 3 months ago

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he gotta be lying.

nobody can not masturbate for that long.

DiitMiaMon

6 years, 3 months ago

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ikr

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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the dude's got a big dick and giant hands.

he's wasting his potential!

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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maybe they're large from build up

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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if he ever the world win end as profesi by staph in the noughties or some shit

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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count the days

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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how can you say you're not that heat and count the days in the same breath.

giant cock tease is what you are and i know a little something about giant cocks.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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ding ding what have we got for them johnny?

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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asshole

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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said Billy in flirtatious manner

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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no but hey

if you're into that

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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no for fucks sake.

you're really bad at reading signals.

either that or you're just eager and couldn't care less about the other's opinion.

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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a little from column A and a little from column B

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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please fuck off

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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okey dokey

Staph

Staph

6 years, 3 months ago

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he flirts and then tells you to fuck off.

what the fuckily?

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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i wasn't flirting, i was pointing out how billy was flirting

Staph

Staph

6 years, 3 months ago

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but he wasn't.

either you're trigger happy or your gun's twitchy.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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the former.

you guys have given me a complex.

Staph

Staph

6 years, 3 months ago

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yeah that definitely sounds plausible

BillyFife

BillyFife

6 years, 3 months ago

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no he's just gay for lil ol me

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 3 months ago

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Billy never shit talks admin but the guy sure does like stirring up trouble.

Staph

Staph

6 years, 3 months ago

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true

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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"	BillyFife wrote:
	no he's just gay for lil ol me

lil ol you is a middle age fat hairy black man with big arms.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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it's like the total opposite of

MaxwellGalloway

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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Edited 6 years, 3 months ago by Owner

oh so you're into petite Asian blonde skinny boys then.

with a 9 o'clock shadow.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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seeing as that's max i'm guessing your right but i don't think i have a type i mostly go by personality.

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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you go by personality AND YOU PICKED MAX?

you're pretty messed up dude.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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i have odd tastes

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 3 months ago

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because you're messed up dude

OrangeOlive

OrangeOlive

6 years, 3 months ago

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exactly

Yolanda

Yolanda

6 years, 3 months ago

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maybe he feels like he wants to save him

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 3 months ago

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that was my reckoning

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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ye

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 3 months ago

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finally!

lucifer has fallen from heaven!

MaxwellGalloway

MaxwellGalloway

6 years, 3 months ago

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lol YES

Staph

Staph

6 years, 3 months ago

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i know what you mean

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 3 months ago

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shut your filthy mouth

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 3 months ago

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way to steer the conversation your way

Staph

Staph

6 years, 3 months ago

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nah. I was insulted religiously by your comment I just didn't want to mention it and make it the topic of conversation.

too late for that now I guess.

Yolanda

Yolanda

6 years, 3 months ago

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SammuWamm

has professed chastity for many years.

i highly doubt the lord of all sin.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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thank you

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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well it will probably result in a ton of sin so maybe you're not far wrong.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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hey it's not my fault

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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I don't believe that

Xman21yo

Xman21yo

6 years, 3 months ago

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no-one believes that

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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"

SammuWamm wrote:

not with

Staph

. ew no! XC

"

Staph wrote:

like i'd want to do it with

SammuWamm

BillyFife

totally sucks at fan pairing.

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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they suck at anything romantic in general to be honest

Breddeer

Breddeer

6 years, 3 months ago

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double burn

OrangeOlive

OrangeOlive

6 years, 3 months ago

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that is a totally retarded otp

Yolanda

Yolanda

6 years, 3 months ago

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no i think they are very similar people

SammuWamm

SammuWamm

6 years, 3 months ago

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that's kinda the problem.

opposites attract.

XaviTheLover

XaviTheLover

6 years, 3 months ago

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don't insult retards

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