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DanielBunny

Slut shaming

So a few days ago, a fur I had contacted brought the shame hammer down on me hard. This hasn't happened to me since I lived in Reno about.. I think 3 years ago. Those memories came flooding back and I went to bed crying that night and just didn't feel like myself the next day. I'm feeling much better now, but I started to wonder.. it's been so long since anyone has shown that level of disgust of me for casual sex. This, and other things like cub porn and the like seem to be better tolerated from what I've seen, and I'm wondering if tolerance is really becoming a thing across the entire fandom so much so that disgust and hate in the fandom seem so rare now, or if I'm just keeping better company.

To be clear though, I'm not changing who I am. It took me a long time to feel good about myself again after leaving Reno. I couldn't defend myself then, but I will not allow someone else's morals to be forced on me.

I'm a slut. Deal with it or fuck off.
Viewed: 121 times
Added: 8 years, 1 month ago
 
Izelith
8 years, 1 month ago
" I'm a slut. Deal with it or fuck off.

Here here. =3
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
^_^
Beartp
8 years, 1 month ago
  Agreed there is nothing forcing them to look at your art or other posts
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
Oh it wasn't about that. They were fine with all kinds of porn, just not non-exclusive sex
Beartp
8 years, 1 month ago
  As long as you know the risks and accept them its none of my or thier business.. DOUBLY so if they aren't one of your partners
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
I either get tested along with someone I plan to play with or condom. I get that it's not 100% risk free, but I'm always honest.
Beartp
8 years, 1 month ago
best you can do other than abstain..  I took a while trying to figure out how to respond  because as said none of my business doubly so since I am not one of those partners and therefor not affected
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
Oh I don't mind someone expressing concern for my health. It's not going to change anything. I've heard these concerns many times before, but I do appreciate the thought. I'm talking about people who wouldn't let up, shaming, harassing, bullying, I asked him to back off and he just kept going. It was intense and stressful.
Hornybunny
8 years, 1 month ago
Sluts make life worth living and being one makes like even better.
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
hehe yesh ^_^
Lapsa
8 years, 1 month ago
Some people are like that, sorry you had to deal with it. Other folks and myself have had to deal with a community within the fandom that seems to think that drawing or writing about rape makes you a rapist.
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
That's another thing that seems to be disappearing slowly.
Lapsa
8 years, 1 month ago
Hopefully. I used to put trigger warnings on my art, but I stopped because that just meant that the people would make judgements immediately rather than after jacking it to the art or story.
KevinSnowpaw
8 years, 1 month ago
lol really? thats honestly ridicules. If drawing or writing about rape makes you a wrapist then every comic book artist and writer, screen play writer or author EVER is a murderer at best =p

i guess some people cant separate fiction from nonfiction
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
Think it's happened to every artist and writer who's done it at some point or another.
KevinSnowpaw
8 years, 1 month ago
differance of opinion is all well and good but fiction is fiction.
HoppsinCottintail
8 years, 1 month ago
I am a slut to i find it fun to play safely <3 nothing worng with that enjoy  life and eother you can have play with someone and it not be a love thing so it is ment to be fun * snuggles you* Also i love cubbie stuff i always like really young cubbie stuff other's knowin that about me i am open about it i always been on the lines of if they dont like it they can go f**** off  
Hornybunny
8 years, 1 month ago
Slaps that cute little padded cubby bottom.
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
*nuzzles* by the way me and Flutterbun were just talking about you a few minutes ago
HoppsinCottintail
8 years, 1 month ago
eepp i hope it was a dirty kinky talk that is fur sure :D
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
hehe mildly ^_^
Musuko42
8 years, 1 month ago
Take happiness from knowing that you're probably getting more pleasure in your sex life than that person is. :)
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
I'd rather have less sex with people who accept it about me than more sex without the freedom I need.
MarcusKoopa
8 years, 1 month ago
waaaait... was it RL casual sex or net casual sex? Cause there are real concerns about the RL kind.. mostly diseases. If you were getting shamed for the OTHER... Holy SHIT did you need to punch that guy. Even the IRL sluttiness isn't a problem as long as you get tested regularly.
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
It's the RL stuff, and I understand if someone's worried about disease, but no, I'm talking about relentless shaming and bullying over my choices. It got pretty bad. Anyway yeah when I play unprotected, I and my partner both get tested, and if anyone wants to use a condom, I don't try to make them change their minds. My risks are my choice, but I won't pressure anyone to share that risk and I'll always be honest.
MarcusKoopa
8 years, 1 month ago
I thought we got over this entire thing decades ago. Personally, I don't care what you do with who and where as long as I don't HAVE to participate, watch, or hear about it.
AmaraMcLeod
8 years, 1 month ago
there are still hateful people in the community......I have seen quite a few that think they are better than everyone else

I think you are just keeping better company but I feel ya, never change who you are, if who you are makes you happy, then be the best you that you can be :)
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
Thanks. Having some humpings with my friends always makes me happy. hehe ^_^
AmaraMcLeod
8 years, 1 month ago
lol yeah
SpoonFox
8 years, 1 month ago
My problem is, I'm a fox and people assume I'm a slut, but IRL I'm Asexual @.@ Then they give -ME- a hard time for NOT BEING A SLUT! X_x
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
Hard to imagine someone being here on IB and asexual at the same time. Can't relate, but I hope you don't get harassed too often?
SpoonFox
8 years, 1 month ago
The fandom is more than just sex oriented stuff. I was a perv when I was younger, but I grew out of it. And IRL? I'm Asexual... And many furs don't understand 'don't touch' means DON'T TOUCH @_@
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
Hehe well I never have a "don't touch" so still can't relate, but would respect it.
Khzhak
8 years, 1 month ago
I'm familiar with RACK, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, but that sounds like not quite kink, just regular sex.  Still, if you take he proper precautions, you can play around with someone you're in lust with, and leave emotions out of it.  Or mess around, share benefits with a friend, and after working it out of your system, get back to just being regular friends.  It's possible, but a lot of people don't see it that way.
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
Never heard that one before. Yeah I'd enjoy sharing a special moment with someone I love, but the thought of it being wrong to love one person and have sex (safely of course) with others I just can't understand. Not to bash on exclusivity itself, but it's just not my thing. Honestly I think the people who are sexually exclusive would be in the minority if these superficial moral restraints were never there.
AphroditeDraco
8 years, 1 month ago
Probably insecurity on their part.  I got treated similarly a few years ago when I was in the two relationships I've been in with women, because I like porn and I like to masturbate.  Both women thought that me liking porn somehow equalled me hating them and thinking they were unattractive.  Fact is, that very same insecurity that made them do that shit to me is the main reason I left them both.  You'd be amazed at the abusive behavior someone's capable of when they're insecure like that.  What scares me more than that, though, is that I was willing to bend over backwards for those women.  I'll tell you, if people can't accept you for who or what you are, they're not worth the effort you put into trying to please them.
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
Yes I learned that lesson quite painfully. I won't make the same mistake again.
GreenReaper
8 years, 1 month ago
This sounds about right. People who are feeling secure are unlikely to have any reason to go out of their way to call you a slut. They're doing it to feel better about themselves.
DasherSlash
8 years, 1 month ago
Well fuck that person. I was in a 6-year exclusive relationship that recently became open, and then shortly after that became poly. Now I have 3 boyfriends and I fuck my long-term friends outside of that. It's all done with safety and sensitivity and openness and honesty, and I've never been happier, and I've never been a better boyfriend BECAUSE I'm happier and more patient and more forgiving.

Do what makes you happy.
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
My happiest relationship was an open one. I've never been in a polyamorous one, but I could see that working out better for me if it happened.
catprowler
8 years, 1 month ago
*Hugs a bunny*
DanielBunny
8 years, 1 month ago
*nuzzles*
catprowler
8 years, 1 month ago
*squeezes tight and gently gropes*
DanielBunny
8 years ago
meep!
catprowler
8 years ago
*hugs*   Sadly you're safe.

So just curious, what would call the opposite of a slut?
DanielBunny
8 years ago
boring? hehe j/k
catprowler
8 years ago
Inexperienced is what I've always classified myself as but that not because of not trying just because of wanting to know someone first.
PawtasticYosh
8 years ago
Hope you feel a bit better already, sorry to hear you had to deal with such stuff. :-/
DanielBunny
8 years ago
I do feel better. *nuzzles*
PawtasticYosh
8 years ago
*nuzzles* that's great to hear, keep your good mood going :3
pirohmaniac
8 years ago
*superfoxhugs*
DanielBunny
8 years ago
^_^ *nuzzles*
xCookiex
8 years ago
i love you for you bunbun
DanielBunny
8 years ago
*nuzzles*
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