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How the internet started

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth.
Viewed: 11 times
Added: 7 years, 3 months ago
7 years, 3 months ago
I'm definitely getting old.  I was using the net well before the Bay of Ezekiel took over!
7 years, 3 months ago
You and me both, my first computer was a Packard Bell with the 28K modem I think it had a 512 processor in it and only 60 megs of RAM, I could definitely be wrong on the processor and RAM but I bought it new. We have come a very long way since then, I wonder if some of the little ones out there today would keep all of their hair in their head if they had to use what we had to use back then, I still remember a commercial about the Internet and slow modems where the kid is out in the driveway playing with his skateboard and calling back into the house asking if the webpage opened up yet, *giggles*
7 years, 3 months ago
When I was in college, we connected to the mainframe with a 150 baud acoustic modem. That's the kind where you manually place the phone handset on the rubber cups. By the time I graduated, some of the systems connected at 2400 baud, and we thought that was super fast.   My first personal computer had 16K of Ram, which I upgraded to 64K, then to 80K .  It required memory bank switching to access all of that. PC clones were just coming into use back then, as well as floppy drives on home systems. Before that, we used cassette tape for storage. The mainframe at the time still used 80-column punch card and paper tape readers!  The first modem I bought for myself was 2400 baud, which I believe was around 1983 or 1984. The bad part was that any systems that were good to connect with also happened to be long distance, and it wasn't fun when the phone bills came. This was back before .gif images were even invented.

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