Profile
Just a queer leftist creature exploring some of the feelings I used to hide <3
Traditional artist, mostly using Posca paint pens, some of which I refill with other paints.
I like spending my time doing things and being part of a helpful community, which is part of why generative AI disgusts me, because it's antithetical to those values stemming from an appreciation for being alive and having agency in this world.
Statement:
Each piece is a self portrait from around the ages of 9 to 16, showcasing how I internalized and dealt with feelings of shame, helplessness, betrayal, jealousy, hornineess, dissociation, gender, and the psychological effects of starting to mask all the time as I needlessly did my best to not arouse the suspicion of others around me.
I gravitate towards an anime style because I watched FLCL when I was 11 and experienced such intense and profound feelings of yearning and loss in connection to my feelings of shame that I became kind of obsessed and looked for that feeling in other animes, and it strongly affected my aesthetic sense. I also like the idea of taking imagery related to Japan's moe soft power and using it in a way that's contrary to the values of conservative governments. Being materially constructive with the way I explore and kill my shame is against the capitalist Christian idealism that taught me to feel shame in the first place. The limited color palette of these works is Largely a result of adapting around my colorblindness.
Links and Contact Details
Other
https://baraag.net/@Zazazen
