Determination
Is there such a thing as a perfect moment? Frisk pondered as he stared upwards. Somewhere up there was Mt. Ebott. It seemed like an eternity since he had stood at the precipice and chose to jump. Who could have predicted he would survive the fall, cushioned by a bed of flowers, that seemed so out of place. And now he was lying in that bed, snuggled up with the best thing that ever happened to him. He nuzzled one of Asriel's floppy ears, placing a kiss on his head.
"Flowey couldn't fathom why you chose to spare him." Asriel said softly, his first words since Frisk's confession. "I think I know. Superficially, you did enjoy he wouldn’t understand. However, you sensed something. A piece of the puzzle, you were trying to work out. You knew, Flowey would make a new plan and you'd necessarily be a part of it. You spared him so you could use him. You used me."
"I..." was all Frisk managed to utter. It was true, he didn't know Flowey's true nature then, even though he had a hunch.
The goat shook his head softly. "I'm not upset with you; I'm just trying to point something out. You said it yourself, you couldn't care less about all those 'friends' you made. So why are you so upset and guilty about your manipulations?" He paused for emphasis. "Sure it wasn't the nice thing to do, but there is more. You want to kill Chara for manipulating me. You feel guilty about the decision to spare and use Flowey. Because Flowey turned out to be me. Even subconsciously you feel you should be punished. You did offer to kill yourself for me."
"Checkmate." Was the word that came out of Frisk's mouth, before he even got to think it through. Asriel looked back at him, looking slightly confused. "When you fell on your knees, begging me to let you win, that word came to mind. I thought it had denoted my victory. The truth is, I put myself in check. I had no possible way to fight you, and I didn't want to. I had fallen in love with you, before I even consciously realised it. My mind had probably put the pieces together…"
"That's the moment you actually started to feel guilty? Yet at that moment you also refused to die, no matter how hard I tried to kill you." Asriel said, deep in thought.
"I couldn't let you kill me. You had suffered more than anyone else. Back then I thought, since a human was responsible for all that's happened to you, a human had to bear the guilt and punishment. I blamed Chara, I still do. The truth is, I couldn't die before I could do right by you for what I had done." He felt up Asriel's head fur, playing with those cute ears, making the goat blush. "Soothe those scars of everything that happened since Chara fell down here… I wanted to give you my soul, so I could bear it with you."
"No wonder both Flowey and I lost to you. You're better at playing the game than either of us. He pulled Frisk down into an upside down kiss. After a few seconds he broke the kiss again and looked right into his lover's eyes. "I forgive you." Smiling widely, he continued. "After all, you have forgiven me. And let's be honest, I did some weird things as a flower." Both smiled as Asriel repeated those words. The goat reached up to stroke Frisk's cheek. "You notice; I haven't refused your soul. I would be happy to accept it. On one condition."
"I will do anything you ask. All I want is to make you happy. After everything that's happened, that's the least you deserve." Though the human boy was unsure what else he could give him. His own soul was the biggest gift he could ever make.
Asriel reached for the striped purple shirt and buried his muzzle in it for a moment, before handing it over. "I need you to leave."
Frisk stared blankly at his shirt. "I… can't leave, I don't want to leave you."
"You misunderstood." The goat shook his head. "I'm not telling you to leave, because I don't want you. There is something I need you to do. It would break my heart to watch you die now. I want you go to the surface with my parents and their friends. Do what I never could: Live your life, fulfil your hopes and dreams. Make a wealth of memories. Then I will accept your soul and we will be together forever. Perhaps your experiences will even help to cancel out all the suffering."
A sense of despair filled Frisk, if Asriel didn't absorb his soul now he will turn back into a flower. "If I leave now… he will come back. He can't love…"
Asriel was silent, as he got up. He helped Frisk up too before he got dressed and Frisk did the same. "No, he can't. But maybe he doesn't need to. I never lost my memories, but without emotion they became meaningless. I had no purpose. But I couldn't kill myself. This time, I'll know I will be able to feel again, once I absorb your soul. That there is a future. And you'll be there. He might try to come after you and make it happen sooner. But you're stronger than he ever was."
"I… don't know if I can do what you are asking of me. Being condemned to live as a flower. I wanted to prevent you from becoming him again at any cost… now you're telling me to not only let it happen, but to go off and enjoy myself, while I know you'll be suffering." Tears started to run down Frisk's cheeks. "Why… can't you just accept my soul now. You can go meet your parents… we can make a life together."
"Stop." Asriel's cheek fur was getting wet as well, ever the cry baby and he knew it. "I can't face any of them. The things I've done in different timelines… You may be able to forgive me; they may be able to forgive me. I'll never be able to truly forgive myself. Once I absorb your soul, we'll share our memories and you'll see, why I can't bear the though. Maybe I'm too stubborn, maybe I'm foolish, but you're the only one I feel I can be comfortable with anymore."
Frisk pulled the worn dagger from its sheath, and looked at it. Last time he had used it, he was forced to defend himself from Asgore, but that timeline was erased and with it the blood on it. He looked at the barely recognisable mirror image, showing his medium length straight brown hair and the usual blank expression. "If I killed myself right now, you would absorb my soul. But that would be rather manipulative, wouldn't it?"
Asriel didn't say anything and just looked sadly at him. Frisk couldn't bring himself to go against the sad goat's wishes. No one could be after looking at that face. If he never had to look at that sad face again, it would be soon enough. Eventually, Frisk spoke up. "If I didn't know better, I'd have to think you're manipulating me into getting your way." He wiped his own tears and smiled. "I'll allow it. You did beg me to let you win a while ago."
Without warning, Frisk made use of the dagger, cutting his own palm. Blood dripped down onto the flowers. Frisk smiled to himself though gritting teeth, knowing the goat would be rather confused. "In the human world, there exists a ritual called a blood oath." He handed the dagger to Asriel. "Two people cut their palms, then shake hands to mix their blood. It is said to have mystical powers to make a commitment that cannot be broken. I will go to the surface and do as you have asked me to…"
Asriel wasn't sure what to think about this ritual, but he understood the gesture. A commitment that cannot be broken. Perhaps that would be binding even for Flowey. Looking down at the bloody dagger, he brought it to his own palm, cutting himself. "Ngh… I suppose it should hurt, huh? Well, I will wait for you and accept your soul, when you're back. Take care of Mum and Dad for me. Even if I can't, you will be able to feel the joy of their happiness on my behalf. And remember… don't kill and don't be killed."
The two shook hands, sharing their blood. A sense of determination filling the both of them, as they shared a final passionate kiss.
"Hopes and dreams." Frisk said his final words, shortly before entering the ruins and making his way back.
Asriel whispered the words back to himself. "Hopes and dreams." He picked one of the yellow flowers, inhaling their scent deeply. Smiling widely, he looked up, hoping for and dreaming of the day Frisk would return.
