Danger Mouse sighed.
"What seem to be the problem?" asked Penfold the inoccently insolent hamster towards the white dressed uninoccently insolent mouse.
"Nothing" said DM depressedly, smoking a joint.
Only the noxious clouds of a neotropical drug-producing plant could give meaning to his life anymore.
Then a blue light appeared, and DM's heart raced. He was beginning to have a panic attack.
"Ah, there you are DM" said a blue clothes wearing caviomorph rodent, licking his pestilent postule lips, the beard full of poiconous rotten pus from the burst acne and bodily waste.
DM couldn't speak, he breathed heavily as he was on full alarm, his traumas surfacing in violent silence. Penfold, his loyal companion of ages, thought there was something wrong and worried about his captain.
"Is there something wrong DM?" asked Penfold with concern.
"N-no it's nothing!" blurted DM.
"Good" said Colonel K evilly, "You have an important mission, DM, you must attend to it."
"Oh oh can I come too?" asked Penfold.
"NO!" said Colonel K digustedly, spitting at Penfold's face, only because he was a hologram he spit pure LIGHT, which burned away Penfold's corneas.
"W-what is the m-mission?" said DM scaredly, though he knew very well where it was.
"You must attend to Headquarters "check-ups..............................in my bedroom" grinned Colonel K maniacly, his eyes bulging like in Nicholas Cage
DM whimpered, but he walked into the car nonetheless, and drove off. Colonel K winked at Pnefold evilly, before the hologram disappeared.
"I wonder what he meant by that?" asked pENFOLD curiously.
"Oh, I have tapes to show you....." said an evil and cancerous voice like the collision of falling stars.
It was...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................SQUAWKENCLOCK!!!!!!
"What tapes?" asked Penfod curiously?
"These tapes" said Squawkencock mischievieously, licking her putrid beak with dislocated rhamphothecae.
The evil chicken demon girl then grabbed a tape with her lice-infested feathered wing hands and put it on the reccorder sexily, many parasites going into the hardware. The television then showed the film, the footage all amateur and stuff. Squawkencuck moaned in anticipation like the whore of Yunnan.
"Oh dear lordie, this is aporn video!" cried Penfold sadly as he knew the truth.
"Yesssss, now you mussssst watch!" moaned Sqwakenclock evilly and sexily, she loved to see RAPE.
Pnefold cried black tears of sadness. His friend was being ARPAED, and he couldn't do anything about it. Colonel K was a powerful and riche man, he was as evil as he was dark he would corrupt the government by any means necessary to keep his scandalous ways. Unless...
"I'm going to up-load this video on the internet!" said Penfold wisely, "then people will see how evil Colonel K is.
He took out his cellphone and photographed the video, up-loading it to his Tumblr account. Then he emailed it to the UN and all the news. As he did Sclawenk giggled sinisterly.
"Now someone will come to the rescue!" said Penfold wisely, and he tuned in for news.
But to his shock instead of reporting Colonel K, it became the most popular revenge porn video on the internet! Everyone masturbated and left lewd and demaning faggot-calling comments demanding a sequel.
"Now Danger Mouse is a gay furry porn star sensation!" said the news reporter camel evilly, "Now lets email DM about how he feels about that."
The screen tuned in to DM, but it was all black and the sound of a gunshot was heard.
"It seems like Danger Faggot truly became an hero. How sad" mocked the news reporter mockingly.
Pnefold fell on his knees, overwhelmed with horror and guilt. In his attempts to save his dearest of friends, he only made him an object of LUST and drove him to suicide.
"There is nothing you can do forever!" said Squawkencluck darkly and nihilistically, "Nothing you ever do matters. Embrace the darkness of one's innermost desires."
Resigned, Pendfold did.
