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bbmbbf

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Little Tails

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Thank you all for your help on the speech fix :D

Keywords

male 1,183,565, female 1,072,692, cat 211,660, panties 41,513, dress 18,261, angel 8,982, upskirt 5,324, hospital 1,076, little tails 832, littletails 461, cathy 130

Details

Type: Picture/Pinup

Published: 9 years, 2 months ago

Rating: General

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13 Comments on this Submission

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KazuhiraMiller

9 years, 2 months ago

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Hmm im first it appears

SelKitsune

9 years, 2 months ago

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@ KazuhiraMiller

well I was. I was fixing his grammar not much to change some words here and there but over all great job BBMBBF

SelKitsune

9 years, 2 months ago

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panel 1

It can't be!
not again!

panel 2

"Once we go out of this area and mix between people
it will be easier to go out without being notice"

"but why I should leave like this?"

panel 3

"because they are experimenting with (conducting experiments on) you, I don't know
who they are or who sent them, I only know that it is not
anything good"

"what?, how do you know all this?"

panel 4

"you seem to know a lot of things about me, I'm not
even sure if everything that is happening right now is real,
maybe my mind is dreaming all this.."

"oh c'mon.. I'll explain you later, I promise"

Gelnak

9 years, 2 months ago

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Edited 9 years, 2 months ago by Owner

@ SelKitsune

To adjust yours slightly, as I'd say it's mostly right in my opinion, I'd change a few things myself, in the second panel I'd just change a few words to:
"Once we go out of this area and mix between people, it'll be easier to get out without being noticed"

I'd also make some small changes to say on panel 3:
"because they are experimenting on you, I don't know who they are or who sent them, I only know that it's not good"

For panel 4 I'd make this suggestion
"You seem to know a lot about me, and I don't even know if any of this is real. Am I just imagining this right now?"

Let me know what you think

GurahkWeavile

9 years, 2 months ago

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Panel 1:
It can't be! Not again!

Panel 2:
Once we leave the room and mix with other people, it'll be easier to get out without being noticed.

But why should I escape like this anyway?

Panel 3:
Because these people are experimenting on you. I don't know who they are or who sent them. But I do know it isn't any good.

Huh? How do you know all this?

Panel 4:
You know a lot about me, and I don't even know if all of this is real. Am I just imagining things right now?

Oh c'mon! I'll explain later, I promise!

SelKitsune

9 years, 2 months ago

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Btw I like everything here the artwork is great and you always impress me GREAT WORK! *cheers with excitement :3

kingkingkolton

9 years, 2 months ago

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Edited 9 years, 2 months ago by Owner

panel 1

It can't be!
Not again!

panel 2

Once we get out of here and mix with the people, it'll be easier to go without being noticed.

But, why should I escape?

panel 3

Because they're experimenting with you; I don't know who "they" are, who who sent them, I only know that it's not anything good.

Wait, how do you know all this?

panel 4

You seem to know a lot of things about me, I'm not even sure if everything happening right now is real...Maybe my mind is making all of this up.

Oh, c'mon, I'll explain it to you later, I promise.

CuriousKit

9 years, 2 months ago

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Some refinement suggestions too:

Panel 1 (I'm trying to remember why she's suddenly alarmed):

"What? It can't be! Not again!"

Panel 2:

"Once we get out of here and mingle with the patients, it will be easier to escape unnoticed."
"But why do we need to escape like this?"

Panel 3:

"Because they are experimenting on you.  I don't know who they are or who sent them, but I know that it can't be good."
"What? How do you know all this?"

Panel 4:

"You seem to know a lot about me. I'm not even sure if everything that is happening right now is even real.  I must be imagining this..."
"Oh, come on!  I'll explain later, I promise."

(Curious Kit)

NeroTH

9 years, 2 months ago

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Edited 9 years, 2 months ago by Owner

"

panel 1

It can't be!
Not again!

panel 2

"Once we get out of here and mix into the crowd, it'll be easier to get around without being noticed."

"But why should I "leave" like this?"

panel 3

"Because they're experimenting with you. I don't know who they are or who sent them, all I know that it's not anything good."

"What? How do you know all of this?"

panel 4

"You seem to know a lot about me, I'm not even sure if everything that is happening now is real, maybe I'm just imagining all of this..."

"Oh c'mon... I'll explain it to you later, I promise!"

There you go, I also made some dialogue fixes, some small and some major, to help it flow better.