Prologue 3: Aboard the Koopa Cruiser
"Bowser better hurry," said Mario as he paced around Toadtown Square impatiently. "We should have been out of here almost an hour ago."
"Well, he can only move so fast with those stumps he calls legs," commented Luigi. "I'd be more concerned about being on an airship thousands of miles in the sky with Bowser and his minion crew? You may have an alliance with him, but he could turn on you in an opportune moment."
"With the princess in her present state, Bowser will be more focused on getting her voice back," retorted Mario. "And if he does attempt something I can handle it, but if you are worried, why not come along with us?"
"Me, go along with you on an adventure?" stuttered Luigi nervously. "It's been so long since I did something like this and someone has to stay and guard the home front."
"If that's what you want to do then," said Mario.
"I'll stick around for your departure of course," he added as Bowser's airship flew past them overhead and began its descent onto the airstrip. "Speaking of the devil, looks like he's here."
"Then time to meet up with Bowser," stated Mario as they started to run.
"Master Mario!" called out Toadsworth, Princess Peach's loyal and overprotective aide. Mario and Luigi stopped running and turned back towards him. Dragging a suitcase behind him, he ran frantically towards the Mario Bros. "It would appear that I'm just in time!"
"Oh, hi Toadsworth," replied Mario. "What are you doing here?"
"I am here to offer my support," he answered. "I have prepared a suitcase for you to take with you on your journey. I figured in your rush you wouldn't have time to properly pack any belongings."
"This will be a big help," thanked Mario.
"Say, Toadsworth," commented Luigi. "I don't remember seeing you back at the castle earlier. I would have thought you'd have been popping a worrywart with everything that has happened today."
"Unfortunately I was busy elsewhere in the castle," he explained. "I'm ashamed to say that when things got scary I panicked and hid. I know this isn't much, but I wanted to do something to help you. I've included some of the coins from the Bowser Kidnaps the Princess Fund to help you out."
"Well, if we can hurry we might be able to catch the villains before they even cross the border to the Beanbean Kingdom," said Mario. "But now it looks like we're all set to start out."
"Oh, Master Luigi, are you going to the Beanbean Kingdom as well?" asked Toadsworth.
"No," answered Luigi shaking his head. "I'm just here to see Mario off."
"A capital idea," commented Toadsworth. "I do believe I'll join you. Now then, let's be off."
At the airstrip, the Koopa Cruiser was parked. Unlike Bowser's previous airships that were crafted of wood and relied on propellers this mechanized marvel had a steel body and was modeled to resemble a turtle shell rather than a boat. The top had contained an observation deck and the front was shaped to resemble Bowser's mug poking out of the shell. There were a pair of retractable wings at the side of the ship and for power, a set of engines still hot from their previous use. The ship was held up by a pair of sturdy ski legs that reached from the front of the ship to the back. On the lower half of the ship there were countless lasers guns, bullet bill launchers, cannons, and more armed and ready to fire. The Mushroom Kingdom citizens staring at it did so with intrigue and terror.
"Bowser has something like this now?"
"Why do bad guys always get cooler gadgets and vehicles than the good guys?"
"Mommy, I want one! Please! Pretty please!"
"No, dear. You are not getting an airship."
"Is it ironic that the weapon that could have destroyed us is going to help us?"
"Yes it is."
"It looks cool, but all its guns seem to be designed for attacking things below it. That makes some sense, but won't it be completely defenseless from an attack higher up?"
"Yes it would."
"You think it is likely that such a design flaw will lead to trouble in the near future?"
"Just as likely as you are to badger a total stranger with question after question."
Bowser stomped his feet atop his mighty Koopa Cruiser grunting and snorting irritatingly. "Where is that darn Mario?" he grumbled. "The one time I need him to show up on time he decides to drag his feet." Looking over once again at Toadtown Square, he spotted Mario and company arriving. "Mario! You're late! What were you doing?"
"Waiting for you!" Mario shouted back. "What's your excuse?"
"Urg, nevermind," grumbled Bowser. "We're leaving right now! So get on board, and make it snappy!"
"Well, I'm off then," said Mario bending his legs to build up jumping power.
"Good luck, bro," replied Luigi. Making a fist he took a few swings. "When you see those bad guys pound them good."
"Do be careful," added Toadsworth. "And as you kids say whoop some fanny."
Giving a nod and thumbs up to them leapt all the way onto the top of the Koopa Cruiser beside Bowser. "So this is what you've been doing all this time since you weren't causing trouble," commented Mario.
"Gwa ha ha ha!" cackled Bowser his anger quickly vanishing and being replaced with pride. "Yes it is. So, what do you think? Incredible, isn't it? This is my newest weapon: the Koopa Cruiser!"
"Very impressive," admitted Mario. "Koopa ingenuity never ceases to amaze."
"Who wouldn't?" bragged Bowser. "I doubt you have anything this anything in the Mushroom Kingdom as awesome as this."
"Not even close," answered Mario. "And it makes me wonder why you've not once succeeded in beating me."
"Why you little!" growled Bowser gritting his teeth. "Success is hardly achieved the first time. In fact, I'd say that if it weren't for all those defeats you handed us, I wouldn't have the Koopa Cruiser today."
"Always happy to do my part," replied Mario tempted to egg on Bowser further.
"So, aside from us, let me introduce you to the crew," breathed Bowser attempting to keep his blood pressure under control. Letting out a fierce roar, he called them. "Bowser Baddies!" His voice echoed throughout the Mushroom Kingdom but time passed and no Baddies appeared. Stomping his feet and swinging his fists in frustration, Bowser looked ready to explode with anger. Gah! Where are they? Bowser Baddies assemble at once!"
"What in the world is Bowser going on about now?" asked Toadsworth.
"I'm not sure, but he looks furious," replied Luigi.
"Perhaps you should go and see what is going on," suggested Toadsworth.
"Ok, but this doesn't mean I'm going on board," stated Luigi as he ran towards the Koopa Cruiser and called up waving to Mario and Bowser. "Hey! Is everything okay up there?"
"Huh?" asked Bowser, his anger quickly replaced with curiosity as he heard Luigi shouting to him and looked down at him waving his hat to get his attention. "What in green blazes...? Hey! You! Are you signing up to join my crew of Bowser Baddies?"
"What was that?" called Luigi. "Did you say join your crew?"
"I see! I see!" exclaimed Bowser. "You want me to bring you along that badly, huh?"
Looking around, Luigi didn't seen anyone else around that Bowser could be referring to and pointed to himself and called out once again. "You mean me?"
"Yes you," said Bowser prompting Luigi to shake his head "no" and decline his offer. Seeing this only made Bower laugh. "Gwa ha har! Oh, that's rich! Don't be modest, Mr. Green! I mean, you look like a real pain, but I'll take you anyway!"
"Mr. Green? That's my brother, Luigi," stated Mario. "And I don't think that's what he's saying."
"Quiet you," snapped Bowser ignoring everything Mario just said. "I know an eager-to-be-underling when I see one and just by looking at him I can tell he's got all the qualities of a lackey, follower, minion, and stooge."
"Something tells me I better leave," whimpered Luigi. "The hairs on my mustache are telling me things aren't going to end well for me if I stay." Turning around, Luigi ran from the runway to Bowser's chargin.
"Hey, you! Stop!" shouted Bowser. "You can't refuse my awesome offer!" Ignoring Bowser's shouts, Luigi ran back towards the square only to bump into a Koopa Troopa running in the opposite direction followed by a bunch more as well as a handful of Goombas.
"Your Gnarliness!" the lead Koopa Troopa called out. "The Baddies have just arrived!"
"You were supposed to be on the ship getting ready!" growled Bowser. "Why aren't you on board?"
"Procuring snacks for the flight, sir!" he answered all the Troopas holding up chips, drinks and other junk food. "Now that we are all prepared, we shall now begin boarding the Koopa Cruiser!"
"Uh, very well then," grunted Bowser. "Come on board and we can be on our way!"
"Yes your Gnarliness!" they called out and proceeded to board, Luigi struggling to not get dragged along by them. When he slipped past the last Goomba he rushed back to Toadtown Square.
"War har har! Good!" cheered Bowser. "We can depart and with snacks and an increased headcount, too! Excellent!"
"Your Filthiness, boarding is now complete," a Koopa Troopa said over the intercom to Bowser prompting Mario to take a few steps away from the large Koopa King. "Except for one deserter."
"What?!?" roared Bowser. "Move it, you idiots! Initiate Cruiser pursuit!"
"Right away, your Girthiness," the minion stated and seconds later the engines roared to life and propelled the ship forward. Holding on tight, Mario watched the wings open as they neared the end of the runway and they took off gaining some altitude before turning towards Toadtown Square and Luigi.
"Poor Luigi," thought Mario holding tightly onto his hat, his mustache swaying against the strong wind currents. "Want to or not, looks like you're coming too."
"Is Bowser serious?" cried Luigi as he rushed through the square fearfully once he spotted the ship flying after him. "What can he do while he's all the way up there?"
"How do you even intend to grab him?" asked Mario to Bowser.
"With my hand of course," laughed Bowser as they came as close as possible to Luigi. "Initiate the grabber and prepare to pick up Mr. Green Stache!"
On Bowser's command, a apparatus with a large white gloved hand emerged from the maw of the Koopa head and maneuvered to Luigi and grabbed him. "No!" begged Luigi as he was lifted up into the air and pulled into the mouth of the Koopa Cruiser. "I don't want to go! I don't want to go!"
Soaring through the skies at an incredible speed, the Koopa Cruiser headed towards the border between the Mushroom Kingdom and the Beanbean Kingdom. Down in the loading hull the resembled Bowser's maw, Luigi sat on the ground in a feeble depression. A few feet away, Mario sat on a crate staring up at the ceiling listening as Luigi mumbled something every once in a while.
"It all happened so fast," mumbled Luigi. "I hadn't even finished folding the laundry. Oh, and the plants, I haven't even took care of watering them or spraying Piranha Plant killer to keep them from sprout out of the ground. We didn't even lock the front door. Oh, I shouldn't be here."
"I'm sure Toadsworth will make sure our home is taken care of," stated Mario. "You really don't need to be worried about that. Instead, just focus on helping me save Princess Peach's voice."
"Help?" asked Luigi. "What good would I even be? It has been ages since I last saved the day."
"Not true," countered Mario. "Remember, you saved me when I was trapped in a painting by King Boo. I'd be hanging on some creepy wall right now if it wasn't for you."
"D-don't remind me about that," shuddered Luigi. "I had to go to therapy for psychological treatment after all the frights I've seen including the mansion I obtained afterwards getting repossessed three days later. I even missed out on your little getaway to Isle Delfino for vacation."
"A vacation that started out with me being arrested and then forced to clean the entire island with just a fancy super soaker," Mario pointed out.
The room went silent for a moment then the two brothers cracked smiles and began to laugh. "We can never catch a break, can we?" laughed Luigi. "Even this time, I was snatched up by a giant hand against my will."
"Like it or not," continued Mario. "You're coming on this adventure. So, do you feel better?"
"I think so," answered Luigi laying back. "I wonder when we're going to arrive. It's been agest since we've departed and we haven't seen Bowser's mug or even heard him roaring in frustration."
"Hey you!" shouted Bowser causing Luigi to jump on in fright and look around the Koopa King. Mario pointed to where the source of the sound was coming from, an overhead speaker. "Down there in the ship's belly! Mario and... what's-yer-name! Green guy!"
"Green guy?" moaned Luigi, depression setting in again. "He still doesn't recognize me?"
"It has been a while since you helped me battle Bowser," commented Mario. "He'll know who you are soon enough I'm sure."
"Are you two hearing me down there?" shouted Bowser. "Mario! And... Mr. Green Mario Brother Guy! Look alive down there will you two? We're about to arrive in the Beanbean Kingdom! Make sure you get yourselves prepared and then meet me on the deck, pronto."
Looking in his suitcase, Mario checked the supplies that Toadsworth had provided then closed it up. "Everything seems fine," stated Mario. "Let's head to the deck."
"Mr. Green Mario Brother," repeated Luigi sadly. "Well, at least he knows my color."
Moving from one room of the hull to the next, Mario and Luigi continued to marvel at this masterpiece of Koopa ingenuity and craftsmanship. The walls were made with sturdy iron, riveted into place. The floor was made of finely polished wooden tiles that still carried a fresh pine scent and shined brilliantly. The only parts of the floor that weren't made of wood were the metal framed hatches that led to the mechanical organs of the ship in the event anything needed to be repaired. Lights were evenly spaced on the ceiling and fully lighting the ship's interior.
Koopa Troopas and Goombas were hard at work carrying large crates from one part of the ship to another seemingly hard at work, but as Mario and Luigi watched they noticed that as soon as they had finished carrying it to one spot and placed it down, they picked it up against seconds later and carried it to another spot and another till it was back where it started and did it all over again. A Goomba who saw the two watching them "work" frowned at them the said, "This ship practically flies itself, but no reason King Bowser needs to know that. So keep your mustached lips shut if you know what's good for you."
"Goombas are a bit feistier than I remember," whispered Luigi.
"They're all bark and no bite," replied Mario. "As tough as they might try and act that's all it is."
Continuing on, the Mario Bros. came upon a line of Koopa Troopas and a standing by a camera getting it adjusted as he aimed at the Koopa Troopa in front. "Now stay still," he instructed. "I'm ready to take your picture."
"Hurry up," cried the other Koopa Troopa. "I've got a bad itch on my shell that I need to scratch."
"Okay," he replied. "Taking the picture in 3... 2... 1..." He pressed the button on the camera. "There we go."
"Finally," the posing Koopa Troopa sighed as he turned his head and reached to the back of his shell to scratch. As he did, the camera flashed and the picture came out. "Wait, what?"
"Here is your new passport picture," the picture taker said as he handed it over. As the Koopa Troopa looked it over, his face was not that of a happy customer. "You took the picture too late! I'm in the middle of scratching my shell. I can't use this picture with my passport. You have to take it again."
"Sorry, no redos," the photography said. "His Photogenicness, King Bowser wants to make sure every minion aboard gets their papers in line before crossing the border. There isn't enough time to give out redos. You'll just have to make do with that. Now who's next?" Turning to the line, the Koopa Troopa then noticed Mario and Luigi walking by. "Hey, there! You two!"
"Huh?" asked Mario and he and Luigi turned back and walked towards the Koopa Troopa. "Were you calling us?"
"Yeah! I was calling you two mustached dudes," he answered. "You're about to enter the Beanbean Kingdom, so you have your passports with you, right?"
"Passports?" asked Luigi as he turned to Mario who looked equally confused. "All this happened so fast we never had a chance to even get some."
"Oh, wait!" exclaimed Mario opening the suitcase and pulling out a pair of passports from a compartment in the inner lining. One was read and the other was green. I think these are passports. My name and everything is on this one and Luigi this one is for you. Looks like Toadsworth really did make sure we had everything we needed."
"Let me see," the Koopa Troopa said as he inspected them and eyes the blank spots on each of them. "Uh, oh. These won't get you into the Beanbean Kingdom! No sir, no way, no how!"
"Wait! What?" cried Luigi. "Then we can't cross the border?"
"What's wrong with them?" cried Mario. "They looked fine to me."
"It's nothing to wig out about," the photographer Koopa told them. "They just need your passport photos. I can take your picture here no problem. Since, the Great Bowser has called you to the deck, I'll let you two cut the line." Looking at the long that stretched around the room, Mario and Luigi sighed with relief that they didn't have to wait. The line of Koopa Troopas, on the other hand, groaned that they had to wait even longer now. "Let's start with Mario. Step on the mat over there arms at your side and no funny faces. I'll count to three and snap the picture."
"Like this?" asked Mario taking position.
"Yeah, um, Mr. Green Stache, take a few steps back so you don't end up in the shot too."
"He saw my passport," mumbled Luigi moving to the side. "Mario even said my name, but he still doesn't know who I am."
"Very good," said the Koopa Troopa. "I'm taking the picture in 3... 2... 1... There we go. Come and take a look."
Walking towards the Photo Koopa and his camera, Mario was caught by surprise as the camera flashed in his face catching him by surprising and momentarily blinding him. As his vision came back into focus, Mario was handed his photo. Once again, the photo had been taken too late and as a result, it got a close up of Mario's suspenders, chin, the bottom half of his nose, and his mustache.
"Wahahahaha!" laughed Luigi as he looked over Mario's shoulder to see the picture. His laughter started a ton of laughter among the Koopa Troopas in line as well. "At least he got your good side."
"No do overs," said the photographer before Mario could ask and an embarrassed Mario walked out of range of the camera for Luigi to take his picture. "Mr. Greenie, now it is your turn. Stand on the mat and look at the camera."
"Heheh, ok," Luigi replied taking a few deep breaths and calming down before he took his position.
"Hold that pose," instructed the Koopa Troopa. "3... 2... 1... And your picture is taken." Even after he said this, Luigi kept still, waiting for the camera to flash and really take his picture. Seconds passed as Luigi focused at the camera, but still nothing. After a minute his joints were aching to move, but he held still.
"What's taking so long?" wondered Luigi not daring to look away or move, but his started to water. Quickly, Luigi blinked.
"Boo!" screamed a Boo that was suddenly right in front of Luigi's face , mouth open, tongue hanging out and staring right at Luigi.
"Wah!!!" shrieked Luigi, his jaw dropping as he raised his arms fearfully and his eyes bugged out. At that very instant, the camera flashed and a picture of Luigi scared still came out while the Boo did not show up at all.
"Heeheeheeheehee!" giggled the Boo gleefully. "That was for what you did to my friend Boorus in the mansion. It took a while, but my waiting finally paid off." Laughing more, he flew through the ship's ceiling and vanished.
"Here you go," snickered the photographer barely able to keep from exploding with laughter. The Koopa Troopas in line were another story, every last one on the ground hysterical. Taking his picture, Luigi looked at it while he approached Mario. "Just my luck, huh?"
"At least they got your, uh," Mario said trying to find the words. "I'm not sure exactly what side of yours was captured, but at the very least we're all set for the Beanbean Kingdom. Now keep going."
"I can tell you want to laugh," sighed Luigi. "Just get it over with."
"Uh, are you sure?" asked Mario, a little snicker sneaking past his mustache.
"I laughed at you so it's only fair," answered Luigi.
"If you insist," replied Mario, before he laughed so hard he fell to the ground, his face turning red as he struggled to catch his breath. Luigi waited for the laughter to die down. When it finally did, the two bros continued their way up to Bowser.
Reaching the next floor of the Koopa Cruiser, Mario and Luigi came face to face with a huge clutter of crates and barrels. "Mario! Green stache!" called Bowser on the loudspeaker again. "What's taking you two so long?!? Hurry up and get to the observation deck immediately!"
"Bowser's losing his patience," sighed Mario. "Makes me glad we don't normally team up with him."
"Yeah," agreed Luigi. "But what do we do now? We got so much cargo in our way it'll take forever to make it to the observation deck."
"It won't take very long at all," commented a Koopa Troopa as he pointed at an ! Block floating nearby. "Hitting that block there activates the Pinch Crane. I like to call it Mr. Pinch." Mario and Luigi raised an eyebrow over that tidbit of information. "Uh, don't ask me why. In case it's not really obvious, you should be able to use ol' Mr. Pinch to move that cargo and make your way up to Bowser."
"Sounds simple enough," commented Mario as he stood beneath the block and leapt up at it, punching the bottom of it with his fist. The block flashed and the crane creaked to life. Mario watched the crane move towards the boxes blocking their passage to the stairs, clamping onto them and lifting them up. It then moved them to a vacant spot on the floor that was out of the way and carefully placed them there. "Piece of pizza. Nothing in our way now. Come on, let's go Luigi."
"Just a second," said Luigi standing beneath the ! Block. I wanna give it a try."
"We don't have any time to fool any time to fool around," Mario told Luigi.
"I'll be quick," he explained. "Just one try and we can go up to see Bowser." Mario gave a nod and Luigi jumped at the block overhead. "Ok, now how do I control the crane?"
"Um, I don't really know," admitted Mario. "It just kind of did what I wanted it to do."
"Mr. Pinch clamps down accordingly to what the goal of the one who hits the block," the Koopa explained. "In your case, Mario, you wanted to clear the way to the stairs. But what did you intend to use Mr. Pinch for, Mr. Greenie?"
"I- I don't know," stuttered Luigi. "I just wanted to give it a try and then go up to the observation deck right after. What's going to happen now?" There wasn't a need for an answer as the crane came down behind Luigi and clamped down on his suspends and lifted him up by his rear. Screaming and flailing, Luigi did all he could to shake himself free, but Mr. Pinch held on tight. Mario and the Koopa Troopas in the room, watched silently as he was lifted up out of the room and through a hatch to the observation deck.
"Uh-oh," said a Koopa Troopa breaking the silence, a lot of pity in his voice. "Looks like the crane mistook him for cargo... That looked... uncomfortable."
"Can't we get him down?" suggested Mario.
"We could, but we might as well take advantage of that fact that he looks to be at a good vantage point." The Koopa Troopa opened a crate and tossed Mario a pair of binoculars. "Since he's up there, why let him be the lookout?"
"Did you hear that?" Mario called to Luigi. "Want to be the lookout?"
"No!" shouted Luigi. "Get me down from here!"
"Well I think it's a good idea," argued Bowser. "Now you hang there and be our lookout or hang there and be a pinata. So, what's it going to be?"
Luigi didn't need any time to think before answering. "Mario!" he cried. "Bring me up those binoculars! They'll help me with my job as lookout!"
