Don’t look any of them in the eye… Don’t say anything… Just keep your body covered up and your face hidden… Nobody cares about your problems… Your parents don’t, so nobody here will, either… Just make yourself seem dumb so nobody pays attention to you… Don’t even say a word… You have to act like a dumb kindergartner… Otherwise, people will notice you and will try to talk to you, and you don’t want that, now do you…?
I have everything planned out for my first day of kindergarten. Everything. Nobody’s gonna pay attention to me or notice me. I know there’s bound to be people who would notice me… so I’m just gonna stay like this all day. Just looking down at the floor, protected by my hoodie. Nobody cares, and if people were to get to know me, they’d just laugh and make fun of me. Just like the kids on my street do. There’s nobody in this world that’s nice. I’ve wanted to die for a while.
I know what you’re thinking. I’m only five years old, and yet I know what death is? I learned a lot of stuff from TV I watched and books that I read. I know of words and concepts that few kids my age do. Ever since I learned of death a year ago, I’ve wanted to die. It sounds… Oh, what’s that word I learned the other day…? Oh, yeah, liberating. It sounds very liberating. But for some odd reason, I’m scared. I hate myself so much, but I’m scared of ending my own life. What a predicament, huh? I tried drowning myself a couple weeks ago and couldn’t do it. I got too scared.
Ah, well… Maybe God just hates me enough that he wants me to actually live some of this horrible life before I die. Maybe, if my parents didn’t realize I like guys, none of this would have happened. I already know it’s bad to be “gay”. It’s bad to like guys. It’s not like I can help it, though… but none of that means I can’t hide the fact that I like guys, and that’s exactly what I’ve decided to do right now. Just because my parents know doesn’t mean anyone else has to.
Anyway, I walk over to the kindergarten classroom. I really have no clue what this day is going to be like. It’s probably gonna be boring, and I’m probably not gonna get much out of it, but I guess I have to go. That’s what my parents said. I didn’t wanna go, but I have no choice.
When I walk in, I see about ten other kids playing around, which doesn’t surprise me. This is kindergarten after all. I look at one of the tables, and there’s a boy over there drawing on a piece of paper. He looks like he could be different than normal people… but I don’t want anyone to get involved in my life, so I walk over to a different table and just sit there, doing nothing. I’m gonna be bored the entire day. I just know it.
I keep my head down, folding my arms around it on the table, seeing if I can sleep at all, but I can’t. Not with all this noise. Why do little kids have to be so loud? It’s bugging me so much. I look up, and the drawing boy looks like he’s a little annoyed, too. I can see it on his face, even though it’s not so obvious. I look at what’s on his paper… and I think that’s Sonic the Hedgehog. Wow… He’s… he’s really good… I can’t stop myself from watching as he continues to draw.
I look up at the boy and study him a bit. He’s a gray wolf with soft blue eyes that are staring right at the paper he’s drawing on. He has short black hair that sits on top of his head, surrounding the bases of his ears. His pointy black-tipped ears are folded down to try to block out the sound, much like mine are. His clawed left paw works the pencil that he’s holding, making lines on a piece of paper appear as something more.
After a few more seconds, it appears his paw is becoming sore, as he sets his pencil down and repeatedly curls and uncurls his fingers. I can see that his pawpads aren’t black like mine, but rather silver. That’s interesting, to say the least… but he’s not any of my business.
He takes his focus away from his paper and looks over in my direction. Dang it! He’s looking at me! Shoot! I try to hide my face, and he giggles as I do. “Y-you don’t have to hide. I’m not gonna b-bite or anything. I-I-I’m nice. I hope.”
He can’t pay any more attention to me… He can’t… I laid my head back on the table and folded my arms around it, but I can still hear him speak as he says, “Come on. Ya don’t have to be scared. I… I’m scared of people, too, y’know. But… y-you seem different. I dunno. J-just something about you.” I look up, and he’s smiling softly at me. That… is the kindest smile I’ve ever seen… but it’s probably fake. He’s probably just putting this on.
I glare at him to try and get him to stop smiling, but he does no such thing, in fact, I think he’s smiling wider now. God, he’s persistent. Who the heck would be this persistent to talk to me? Nobody would, unless they’re planning to pull some sort of prank or play a joke on me. I wave my paw down twice to try and get him to go away as I once again put my head back on the table, but he doesn’t go away or anything. He just keeps smiling. I don’t know what he wants from me.
I look over at the drawing he was doing. For being five years old, he’s really good. I mean, he’s not amazing, but he’s way better than I could hope to be. Again, he looks over at me, but then he looks back over at the drawing for a few seconds before directing his attention right back at me. “You like it?” he asks, and I hesitantly nod. “Th-that’s good. I’ve been working on it for a while now. It’s pretty much done, too.”
He slides the drawing closer to me, and I lift my head up to get a better view of it. He really is good… My god, he’s gonna be amazing when he’s older… but I wonder why he’s showing this to me, of all people, out of everyone else in this class. I can’t seem that special… can I? I mean, yeah, I’m the only one sitting over here with him, but that shouldn’t mean anything… right…?
“Y-you don’t talk much, do you?” he asks rather naively. “Y-y-you haven’t said anything yet. Are you o-okay?” I merely nod in reply. I don’t think he understands yet. I don’t think you even realize yet. I can’t talk. At all. Even if I knew how, which I don’t, I wouldn’t be able to make a single sound. Apparently, my vocal cords won’t vibrate, so even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do anything involving my voice. It sucks, but I’ve gotten used to it.
Anyway, all he says in response is, “Okay, then.” There’s an awkward silence between us for a few seconds before he looks over at his drawing. “I-I’m pretty much done with it. I-i-if you want, you c-can have it.” And when he says that, my ears perk up, and I look straight at him, my eyes wide. “W-well?” he asks, still oblivious to the fact that I can’t talk. I don’t know what I should do, though… Should I take it or not?
I reach out and slowly grab the piece of paper, hoping this isn’t just a trick he’s trying to play on me, but instead of doing so like I expected, he smiles. “I hope ya like it… uh… What’s your name?” Shoot. He’s asking for my name, and I can’t tell him. Uh… what do I do? Wait… why am I even worrying about this?! I shouldn’t have even let him talk to me for this long! God dang it!
I just sigh and shake my head, trying to get him to leave me alone now, but I don’t think he’ll do that. “Come on, why won’t you just tell me? You haven’t said anything else…” He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, and I obviously don’t, either. “I’ll t-tell you mine. My n-n-name’s Dakota. S-so what’s yours?” I still don’t answer, and he sighs. “I just wanna know your name…” And he actually starts frowning now.
Ugh. I don’t understand why I’m actually starting to feel bad for trying to push him away. He’s just probably gonna be like everyone else. So why does it feel like he isn’t gonna be like that? I… I don’t want to tell him my name… but at the same time, I do… and I don’t want to tell him I can’t speak… but at the same time I do…
I… guess there’s no harm in this… I look around for a piece of paper and a pencil, finding one on another table before bringing it back and starting to write on it. I had to teach myself how to read and write, so my handwriting is very messy and not very good, but I hope it’s at least legible. I start to slowly write on the paper, “My name is Roland. I cannot speak.”
He looks at the paper, and he starts to say my name out loud. “R… Ro… R-Roland… Roland… Your name’s… Roland?” I nod, and he reads the second sentence slowly. “I… can… cannot… s-s… speeee… speak…” His eyes widen a little. “You… you can’t speak? N-not at all?” I shake my head, and at that point, I expect him to start making fun of me, but instead, he says, “Well… that’s okay.”
I don’t understand… I don’t understand at all… Why isn’t he making fun of me or beating me up or anything like that? Why is he being so nice? My paws are starting to shake as tears start to come out of my eyes… This is the nicest anyone has ever been, and I don’t understand… I pick up the pencil and start writing on the paper again. “Why are you being so nice?” My handwriting is even messier now… I just… I don’t understand!
He reads it over again, and it takes him a bit longer this time, but he replies, “Well… why shouldn’t I be nice? Why wouldn’t you want me to be nice?”
“People make fun of me because I can’t talk,” I scribble.
“Well… why? I don’t think it’s a big deal. You’re just different. And different is okay.” I think he notices the tears that are flowing down my cheeks. “So don’t cry. I’m not gonna make fun of you. You… you seem nice, but you make it seem like you’re mean. You’re not mean. I can tell.”
He’s right… He’s so right… I’m not mean… but I’m tempted to punch him or do something like that to fake that I am mean… I can’t bring myself to, though! Why can’t I just be mean for one second just to push him away?!
I start crying even more, and… I can feel the boy’s arms wrap around me… He’s hugging me… Why is he hugging me…? Oh, to heck with it! I don’t care if I just met him! I don’t care if he might end up being like everyone else! He’s being nice to me right now, and that’s all that freaking matters right now! I wrap my arms around him, too, and let my tears wet down his shoulder.
“You and I are gonna be good friends,” he says. “I just know it.”
Maybe… this day… wasn’t so bad after all.
![[Non-Canon] Two Dads and a Boy - Prolog](https://va.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/1806/1806202_FennecFoxee_prolog.jpg "[Non-Canon] Two Dads and a Boy - Prolog")
