Innocence... lost? Chapter 3
“I... yeah. I've had my eye on someone.” Tails was quiet for a moment, wondering if he'd just made a mistake to admit it after so many years of secrecy. Rouge was waiting expectantly for the name of the 'someone'... he could still backpedal. He could still keep his secret... no. He didn't know why this sudden urge to tell someone about his feelings for his best friend was rising to the surface, but he would go against his normal actions, against his 'better' judgement. He leaned forward, gesturing for Rouge to do the same. She leaned in, a curious expression on her face, eager to hear who the fox could be pining after... “Sonic... it's Sonic.”
To her credit, she managed to keep her expression fairly still, only her eyes widening a little. But Tails could still see that his confession had completely caught the bat by surprise. He watched her eyes shift to the poker table that the blue hedgehog was still seated at, and then back at him, before she straightened back up.
“Wow... that has got to be, um... complicated for you...” Despite his anxiety, Tails couldn't hold back a laugh at Rouge's words.
“You... you have no idea!” He managed to say through his snickering. He settled down after a moment, getting a little bit of a somber expression on his face. “Complicated is putting it a little gently... I've... I've wanted him since back when I hit puberty.” Rouge was quiet for a moment, but then she turned away, only for a moment, grabbing a chair that was on her side of the counter, and sitting down across from Tails.
“I'm assuming that he has absolutely no idea about your feelings?” Tails shook his head.
“You're... you're the first person I've ever told... I've always just... accepted that me and Sonic would never be anything more than best friends. I never intended to tell this to anyone, ever.” Rouge gave a sympathetic nod.
“I can understand... There's always fear of having your feelings rejected ...” Rouge took a sip of her drink. “...but you're scared of more than just that, aren't you? I don't know Sonic as well as you do... but I'm gonna take a guess and say you don't know if he even swings that way do you? Not to mention the fact that he considers you to be his little brother...” Tails groaned at the mention of 'little brother' and rested his chin against the back of his hand.
“I've had eight years to practically write a book of reasons why he would reject me... and that one is right at the top...” he let out a bitter chuckle. “And as for knowing which way he swings... when I was younger, I used to engage in wishful thinking, that since he was always running away from Amy, that maybe he liked boys. But that wasn't really proof of anything... sure, he never seemed to show any interest in girls, but I never saw him showing any interest in boys either. I don't even know if he swings ANY way... and on top of all that... even if he IS into guys, I honestly doubt that he would ever... you know...” Rouge smirked a little at the blush that came over Tails' face.
“You doubt that he would want to 'do' you?” Tails' face turned a shade of red, not dissimilar to Knuckles' fur. Rouge chuckled teasingly. “Tails, who wouldn't want to jump into bed with adorable guy like you?” Tails let out a nervous chuckle, but his expression was one of mild annoyance.
“Well... you almost got that right... I, um... I'm the one who wants to... to be the one on...” Tails, his face still red, took a quick gulp of his drink. “I want to be the... the pitcher, y'know?” Rouge's eyes widened in surprise again. “I've always found him to be... rather pretty. Despite his reckless style, he has a certain gracefulness in his moves... I think he's beautiful and wild at the same time. But like you said... or rather, what you called me... adorable, right? People expect a handsome guy to be the dominant one... adorable guys are expected to be submissive and... girly...” Tails realized what he'd just implied by using the word 'girly' in a negative way, and hastily sputtered out a defensive, “N-no offense! Being girly isn't a bad thing!” Rouge burst out laughing at that.
“Fox boy... do I seem like a 'girly-girl' to you? I'm not exactly the type of gal who swoons over a handsome guy... in fact, it's usually me who's making them blush...” Rouge grinned. “And you can be sure that submissive is the last thing I am when it comes to relationships...” Tails chuckled a little, before his expression became more melancholic again.
“So... you see my dilemma now. I don't know if he's into guys, he thinks of me as his kid brother, and even if by some miracle he is into guys, and can see past the 'little brother' thing... there's no way that he would be the... the receiver in bed! Especially to an 'adorable' guy like me...” Rouge was quiet, but a contemplative expression came over her face.
“You know... you could always just ask him which way he swings.” Tails gave her an incredulous look. “Use that big brain of yours fox boy! You don't have to admit your feelings for him, you've just gotta find out if he's into girls or guys! Like... a reconnaissance mission. Play it off like it's just brotherly curiosity, that shouldn't bring up any suspicion of your real agenda. In fact, I'm surprised you haven't tried that yet... a smart guy like you.” Tails looked away for a moment.
“I... I have thought of doing that. It's... it's just... if he isn't into boys at all... it would hurt a lot. I've become very good at hiding my feelings for him, and I honestly never expected to actually be with him... but finding out that there isn't ANY chance of him reciprocating... he would be able to see that I was crushed, and even HE could put two and two together, and realize why I felt that way.”
“So you think that the risk outweighs the reward? I can understand... but if you never even try to discover if he would be open to being with a male, you'll just have to deal with your feelings for the rest of your life... sure, you could get your heart broken if you find out he isn't into guys. But what if you never try, and somewhere down the line he ends up getting with someone else? Hell, take it a step further and think about if he gets with a male! Your heart will be even more broken, because you'll realize that you blew your chance when you had it!” Tails had a conflicted expression on his face at the bat's words. “Even if he isn't into males... wouldn't you rather find out now, so that you would have a chance to recover from the hurt, and find someone else, instead of holding a torch for him forever?” Tails sighed as Rouge stopped talking.
“You're forgetting something. Sure, I could always try to find out if he likes girls or boys. But even IF he likes guys, how am I supposed to confess my feelings? He still sees me as his little brother... we grew up together! I don't think he can see me in a romantic light, not with that hanging over us!” Rouge drummed her fingers on the counter, as she considered something... before a small smirk came over her face.
“How about this, fox boy... if you can find out if he's alright with a male love interest... “ The bat bent forward so that she could whisper to the curious Tails. “...Then I'll teach you how to get his attention... how to make him see you in a completely different light...” Tails gulped at that... but his curiosity had been teased.
“What... what exactly are you offering me?” Rouge's smirk got a little bigger.
“Lessons in seduction, from yours truly. Being a spy, I've had plenty of experience in that particular field... with a little help from me, you'll be able to get him all hot and bothered with just a glance... trust me, 'little brother' will be the last thing he'll want you to be once I teach you how to flaunt what you've got.” Tails chuckled nervously at that.
“You do realize that that last part you mentioned could be taken in a totally different way right? What if he... what if this completely backfires, and I end up disgusting him?” Rouge scoffed at that.
“Tails... you don't honestly believe that Sonic could ever hate you, do you?” Tails slowly shook his head. “You're nervous, I understand... but if you never take a chance, you'll always look back, wondering what could have been...” Tails took a shaky sip of his drink, before speaking again.
“R-Rouge... n-no offense, but this is Sonic. He's so... h-how... how am I supposed to make him want... to... to want to be t-taken? And by ME no less?” Rouge pulled back a little, taking a sip of her own drink.
“There are a lot of different ways to make a guy feel, Tails... it's possible to make even the most dominant guys dance on your strings, if you know how to work them... and if Sonic is attracted to boys, then I can teach you how to make him want to feel you taking control... to make him want to submit to your desires... all of his own volition.” Tails gulped again. He felt so warm at the thought, and he was sure that he was blushing. Could... could Rouge really help him to seduce the hedgehog he'd wanted for so long? To finally kiss him, hold him, to finally take him... he let out a shaky breath. But... but what if Sonic wasn't interested in males? All of these hopes would be shot down for good... he closed his eyes. Was it worth it? Was it worth it to take a leap of faith this big? It would either end with a broken heart, or the happiest moment of his life... all riding on whether Sonic was attracted to males at all. He could feel the doubt and fear, warring with the want, and the desire... he glanced over his shoulder at Sonic, and saw the blue hedgehog smiling and laughing with Knuckles and Shadow. That beautiful smile... it made his heart chime. He took a breath. N-no... i-it wasn't worth the risk... he couldn't risk ruining his friendship-
It was at that moment that Sonic accidentally dropped a casino chip... and he bent over to pick it up, giving Tails a superb view of his backside. The warmth in Tails' chest suddenly dimmed in comparison to the heat that shot to other regions of his body, and, blushing furiously, he spun back to face an amused looking Rouge, giving his answer.
“You've got a deal.”
