Love is Blind by Chi Mangetsu
Chapter 1
Hello. My name is Matilda Kanuki and I am a sixteen year old mole rat and I was born blind. I’d be able to see slight variations in light but merely as insubstantial shadows. I use my hearing and acute sense of smell to figure out what is going on. My parents abandoned me at an orphanage when I was just a baby.
It was a cold and rainy night the day they left me. I had caught pneumonia and nearly died. Lucky for me, the car behind my… progenitors, as it were, was being driven by Jenevive and Gotoh Kanuki, a tanuki couple of several years: my then soon-to-be saviors, parents, and practically the only people I would ever meet… for the next seven years. They waited in the hospital room for days watching me as they tell it. Sometimes they would bring their son, Brodie. He was only two at the time. Not that I remember any of it; I was less than a month old. He was always cautious around me, over-protective, though I never knew why.
I didn’t get out much. Yes, I’d sit on the patio and drink tea with mother, but I never left the house. Sometimes mother would bring her friends over. They generally regarded me with a mixture of fear, revulsion and contempt, though mother never realized it. They probably didn’t either. On rare occasions mother would take me to the market with her, but that scared me. Many of the emotions I felt were nice, kind, but some of the scents of people scared me. And some of them terrified me.
After the first panic attack when I was five, she didn’t take me shopping with her anymore. Nothing continued to happen for a long time until mother began to speak of what she referred to as a “tutor.” Daddy was a salaryman and wasn’t around often but I remember their conversation well:
“Mattie needs schooling. She can’t stay inside this house the rest of her life.”
“I know that,” my father replied, flustered, “it’s just that a tutor… you know how she gets around new people.”
“Yes, sweetheart, she stays in her room—by herself. If she’s lucky, Brodie will keep her company. She needs more interaction with people.”
“What about private school?”
“It’s too soon, she’s not ready.”
“It’d be cheaper than a tutor.”
“That won’t be a problem, dear. I know someone perfect for the position. An old friend.”
“Who-Shit! I’m going to miss the train! Take care of it, hun. Set up an interview or something. Love you.”
Then my mother sighed. She did that a lot when daddy left for work, it seemed. It wasn’t that she didn’t love daddy, but she didn’t always seem… happy exactly. Whenever daddy came home late from work or a business trip he’d smell like soap and smoke and money. Mother never seemed to notice and I never said anything because it wasn’t my place. She made a phone call after daddy left. She smelled anxious as it rang and rang and kept on ringing until a male voice said:
“Hi! This is Yamaneko Sougi!” And she smelled full of energy and joy and started to reply, then: “I’m sorry I’m not here to take your call but…” at which she whispered a melancholy, “Dammit, Neko,” and there was a small click from the receiver on the other line.
“Sorry, just got in the door. What can I do for you?”
Mother paused. “How is everything… Neko?”
“Jeni? Jenivive Henderson, oh excuse me, Kanuki. My apologies. My God, how long has it been?”
“Too long.” I could hear mother’s pulse quicken a few beats from the other room. She smelled very different, too, but—at the time—I couldn’t place why. She was just… different.
“How’s Brodie?”
“Good. He’s at school.”
The voice on the other line was hard to place but overall it sounded congenial. “Studies going well then I suppose? Forgive me if I surmised that you didn’t call to reminisce. Did he need help with anything?”
“It’s not Brodie, it’s our daughter, Matilda.”
The voice was silent for a few moments. “Who?”
“Gotoh and I, we adopted a girl six years ago. She was abandoned. And in traffic no less. The parents just dumped her at the steps of an orphanage while stopped at a red light and then blazed right through the intersection.”
“That’s terrible. Some people… Well at least she has you and Gotoh, yeah? Is she in school yet?”
“No, not yet, that’s why I called you. I was hoping you could teach her the things she’ll need for school.”
“Oh sure. It’d be my pleasure. Does she do much reading?”
“… No.”
“Well at least she knows her alphabet and her numbers, right?”
“… She’s blind, Neko.”
There was a long silence. “I-I’m sorry. How long since she’s been…?”
“Since birth. It’s hereditary. Transplants are a possibility, but finding a donor is almost impossible, and the cost… I’d pay anything to let her see. Anything.”
This man, Neko, was quiet as mother sobbed. Softly he asked, “You okay?”
She sniffed. “I will be. It’s funny. Everyone made fun of you for taking Braille in high school. Even me. You told me that ‘You never know when God might strike you blind.’ I just laughed. Look who’s laughing now, huh?” She tried to choke back her tears and failed.
“I’ll be there. How soon do you need me?”
“As soon as you’re able to, Neko.”
“Let me wrap up this subbing job. The original teacher gets off maternity leave in about two, three weeks. So good timing, I suppose.”
“Thank you so much, Neko. You don’t know how much this means to me. To us. Thank you.”
“Hey, don’t mention it, Jeni. It’ll be great to catch up. Well, looks like my lunch break is over. I’ll see you in a few weeks.”
“I-…okay. See you.” Pain. Loss. “Take care.”
Click.
Mother looked at the phone for a few seconds before returning the receiver and slipping into a nearby chair, he hands folding over her face and sweeping back her hair. I couldn’t see it, not even in shadows, but I could smell her tears. I made my way back to my bed before she saw that I’d been listening in, and as she came in to check up on me, I was breathing softly and rhythmically. The last thing I remember then, she kissed my forehead, tucked me in and I found myself wondering just who this Neko person was and that I was feeling very sleepy.
