Code Drop Promo - Golden in the Shell Or: How to Survive an Anime Convention
Tempe O'Kun
Erik the golden retriever attends an anime convention in cosplay with his jackal girlfriend.
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The Erikoma plowed forward, scattering a patrol of surly, Cheetos-stained stormtroopers onto their armored tails.
"Excuse me! I beg your pardon! Multiped tank coming through. Watch your paws!"
Behind him, the buzzing whine of rotors overwhelmed all other noises. A jigabachi attack chopper roared after its prey.
And opened fire.
Erik yipped in panic as projectiles cracked against the Pocky-filled storage pod of his suit, wheeling and weaving his way though the courtyard. Various otaku stood stunned, watching the retriever-tank cruise past. He ducked inside the hotel, tipping on one wheel as he blazed past the front desk. A razor-thin moment of near-tipping, then he clattered back to both wheels and fled down the hall.
The helicopter wasted no time and zoomed inside after him, hovering over the check-in counter. Trotting into the lobby, a black Lab in full High Summoner garb howled a maniacal laugh, clutching her remote controls. "I have you now, Erikoma! Accept your doom!"
"Never!" The floppy-eared tank spared a glance at the craft shredding air after him. Six limbs splaying, he leaped over a planter of plastic plants with great dexterity.
TIP #1: Being a very dexterous cosplayer is like being a very dexterous shopping cart.
More shots ripped from the wasp-tail of the chopper, pelting the false ferns like a hailstorm.
The Erikoma raced ahead, clutching his prized katamari. Early on a Friday, the crowds were light. If I can just get somewhere I won’t be seen--
A candygoth cat girl glittered her way into his path with the traditional cry of her people: "Oh-em-gee, you guys! A tachikoma!"
Sensing the impending flying-tackle tachi-glomp, the Erikoma turned and blasted the entire area with silly string. Direct hit! Surrounded with so many colorful and bat-worthy strands, the cat girl's attention flickered out long enough for him to escape.
TIP #2: Know the weaknesses of fangirls.
The chopper swept in, scattering loose paper from tables nearby. Its pilot hopped onto a bench for a better vantage point. Banking the aircraft inches from the ceiling, she gave chase, firing neon plastic beads after him.
Erik flailed into the dealer's room, scampering toward the yaoi section for salvation. "Tessie! Save meeeeeeeee!"
TIP #3: Know your friends' interests.
The jackal spun out from a booth, shifting her swag bag to one wrist to raise her C-30. A torrent of Nerf darts pelted the helicopter. Most the blades shredded in an instant, but one stuck fast to the front dome of the craft. It careened forward, undeterred by its new foam horn.
Confronted with a withering barrage of plastic beads, Erik grabbed his girlfriend by the arm and dragged her into the bazaar of nerdly delights. Rows of booths sprawled out before him, a labyrinth of memes and memorabilia. They took shelter behind a stand selling commemorative plush leeks, balanced for ease of spinning.
Tess panted, purple hair disheveled. "What is that thing?"
I have a really pretty girlfriend. "RC helicopter with some sort of doom-cannon. Hanna made it."
"She's as bad as you!"
"What did you expect when we told her about my tachikoma cosplay?" He wagged his pod. "I mean, we are best friends."
"Don't think that means I won't destroy you, Erik." Hanna appeared in a swirl of robes beside them, thumbs a blur over the controls. Before the couple could respond, the chopper swooped in, driving them out.
The chopper dove in to harry them once more. Skittering, trundling as only a retriever-mecha can, the golden spun around. Erikoma turrets splattered it with silly string, but the foam spray exploded from the blades in a blizzard of neon slime.
The Lab gave a black-hearted laugh, bringing her chopper in for the kill. A gaggle of curious teenagers had gathered around to watch this finishing move.
"Erik! Use the secret weapon!" She pulled the safety pin from his secondary gun, snatching off the cover.
The dog wrung his purple katamari with a whine. "But that'll break her helicopter!" And who knows what else!
The jackal cocked back the firing mechanism, leveling the tennis cannon. "We're not aiming for the helicopter."
She fired.
SPR-OOOONG!
The ball rocketed past Hanna, bouncing through the cluster of canines around her.
She missed?!
Hanna barked a laugh. "You mi--!"
"Oh boy! A ball!"
Hanna yelped in confusion as the ensuing canine stampede carried her away.
TIP #4: Know when to best use your weapons of mass distraction.
Tess snapped the cannon cover back in place before con security could notice. Wagging his pod, Erik had sung only half of the Final Fantasy victory song when his floppy ears perked. The helicopter’s waspish whine waned, suggesting an imminent crash landing. He jumped. Erikoma paws grazed the chopper skids, then curled around its underbelly, breaking the fall.
And fell he backward on his pod.
"Eeeeeeeeeee!" The Erikoma's six limbs flailed like a inverted, hyperactive turtle. The copter skidded to a stop beside him, the ring around its blades whirring against the side of a booth.
TIP #5: Make sure your costume enables you to get up again.
Tess doubled over with laughter.
Onlookers collected around him, cheering, thinking this to be a planned performance.
"Hey, don't just stand there!" Ears dangling back, he wriggled, but to no avail. "Help me up!"
His girlfriend only let them pose for a few pictures with him before helping him back up.
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I hope you enjoyed today's kemono adventure of kawaii mecha, even if it doesn't contain any ecchi moments. *bows*
For years, thefunkyone's been one of my favorite artists, so you can image how excited I was when he mentioned he liked my stories! ^_^ I am delighted to present to you the culmination of a lot of brainstorming between the two of us, and hard work on his part.
vendettaleopard
