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by Rukamae

Gallery

The future seemed so bright... (I Love the Way You Lie by Skylar Grey)

VENT VENT VENT

I created this way back when, I was having a lot of issues back then and this picture still applies for me today. I'm quite the starving artist, and facing lots of debt issues right now. As I'm trying to bring myself up, I just continuously keep being brought down by the whole snowball effect that has started happening ever since I've started college and work. School has sucked me dry of how little income I've made even while I was working at McD's (but thank goodness I quit the job...), and I've done my very best to be a freelance artist to make money to pay back the school... Unfortunately, I haven't made too much money lately...scrounging for every little dollar because I'm so afraid of being sent to collections. Because I wanted to take a short break from school, I go to try to re-register for classes, and I've never been able to come back because I accrued close to $9,000 in school tuition I simply was not able to pay while in school. They couldn't let me back in unless I've paid up to half, and expect me to pay it right off the bat. To be perfectly honest, I've never ever seen even a thousand dollars in my account. Ever. And being poked and prodded for information about my money situation, how I should go around it, where my money is coming from, where my money is going, what the heck I'm doing with it, and etc. has really demoralized me. There have been days I sit and cry because people ask questions I can't simply answer. I don't know everything about finances, taxes, and whatever else adults do. I may be an adult, but I surely have no clue what to do. I'm just a lost soul, feeling like I have a lost cause, and trying to find happiness in little things and doing my best to keep myself occupied with things I know make me happy. I wish I have the knowledge others do because I simply don't get the gobbledegook others say to try to help me. I don't know extremely technical terms... I just need straight forward instructions without all those hidden messages underneath...if...that makes sense lol.

Ai is an extremely expensive place. I'm no doubt never wanting to go back. Especially with how much money I'm truly making and how much they are trying to leech off of somebody who barely has the experience of the real world. Unfortunately, because I don't want to go back to Ai (and most likely no where else), loans I had will start kicking in soon and pester me for money as well. $12,000 there and $8,000 for paying back Ai (I've been slowly trying to pay them back bit by bit), I'm more broke than I thought I'd ever be, only really able to see just a couple dollars, if that, every time I make the payment I worked extremely hard to get to. Making little profit sucks, and I wish and hope someday I'll be able to sustain myself through my art somehow...Somehow....I'm done starving and I want to start living my life for a change without living in constant fear about where the next few dollars will come from...

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