Mr. Salem Izmir Wednesday, February 29, 2012 Personal Proposition/Notification
My most esteemed compatriot, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you placed TajLabs 'business collaboration partners. By your recent announcement, I assume you're in the market for a gadget with a bonding agent as it ammunition. Now, such utilities are usually frowned upon by Research and Development sector, but I managed to gather a small team who hadn't obliterated there inner child to work on something for you. We tried to develop something convenient, yet avant-garde. Something that didn't require the use of a holster or sling – all in aid of alleviating weight of the gear you're forced to lug about on a daily basis. As such, our small alliance came to the conclusion that the best route to take would be some sort of gauntlet or glove. The latter trounced the former and from there we initiation Project: Gorilla Gloves – ancient, esoteric reference, most definitely, but let me refrain from breaking into asides.
I'll keep the production as succinct as possible – but you and I both know that brevity is far from my strong suit. In the germinal stages of the project, we worked around the clock to find a way to synthesize the same hydro-carbonic secretions most conifers expel naturally. It was strenuous and criminally tedious, but with what started as an industrial piece of hardware, we reduced to the size and approximate weight of a dime. Quite the feat, no? Unfortunately, we couldn't find any svelte or sylphlike with enough padding to properly store each mechanism, or resin generator, so we had to go with something far more Harley Davison than intended, much to the group's chagrin. After hours of scouring the net for ergonomic gloves (in your size, mind you) we stumbled upon something by First Racing that met our stringent specifications. [See: http://bit.ly/zZHSV4 and http://bit.ly/wRETy8 ] Granted, they are a tad bulbous in select areas, but they do have ample protection and the materials used are top notch [Sure, it could do with Corinthian leather, but oh well] Plus, the carbon fiber weave above the knuckles was able to serve both as a storage area for emergency ammunition and as general 'dusters' should your encounters degrade into a hand-to-hand physical altercation. A short series of punches thrown by our most feeble member managed to crack a vanadium workstation, so take that as you will. We took the resin generators and placed one within each finger and one on the inverse of the hand on the off-chance your hands are pinned palm down.
Speaking of which, we also added a flexible stabilizer to the palm, acting as a sort of central processing unit, rigged to the generators and monitoring production of resin between all ten on each hand to ensure equilibrium is reached. It also plays another vital role which we'll touch on later. Once all that was squared away, we needed to sort out the power source and the aesthetics. Believe it or not, the gloves use about as much power as a solar powered graphing calculator, so we nabbed that design, placing the panel on the wrist and the disk batteries adjacent to the radius. As for the design, half the team wanted the circuitry to be visible on the outside and the other desired mauve stitching in lieu of black. In order to appease both groups and continue progress on the item, we ended up going with amethyst faux-circuitry interlocking the generators and the stabilizer.
Then came the infamous beta testing...which meant your product had to be circulated through Research and Development, whether they liked it or not. Since there are dealings down there I'm not aware of and individuals out of my jurisdiction, there may have been a few minute changes to the gloves to boost efficiency ((Hint: This is a contrivance to ensure that you can put your own spin on these, if need be.)) Regardless, it was rather chaotic for the first week. At first they showed promise of being relatively perfect right out of the gate, but then those little impish generators kept manufacturing resin, even while at rest – meaning the office was flooded with amberesque mires when first shift came in. After the second week of testing, R&D grew more and more irate about some of the issues with the gloves. The leaking was rectified, sure – but the resin produced needed to be able to form into a spherical projectile and it also needed to levitate about a centimeter or three away from the palm or else it'd just fall around the crevices of the fingers and serve no 'practical' purposes as an armament. This is where the third function of the stabilizer comes in. Utilizing a derivative of quantum locking, any agglutinant substance ejected by the generators was now suspended above the hand. Surface tension tended to turn the blobs into proper orbs. Subsequent testing necessitated coating the gloves in a hydrophobic gossamer so that viscoelastic particulates wouldn't hamper mobility and a temperature mitigation system to diffuse the heat each generator pruduced. We were rapidly approaching the finalization stages until an intern rushed us and mentioned the fact that we hadn't established a method of launching the resin beyond dislodging it from the QL field.
This brought about another debacle between the romantics and the conservatives. One wanted versatility and the other demanded that there only be one was to both weaponize and hurl the orbs. Being the head of the project [and knowing how you'd be using these gloves], I sided with the former – meaning a good chunk of the crew went back to their 'main' projects, all but abandoning this one. Thank the Matrix we were already in the last stage or we would have been royally screwed at that point. Pulling a page from Akira Toriyama's 'Book of Offensive Techniques' – a chimerical concept, of course, the team gathered a collection of common bellicose hand gestures and ascribed a synthetic resin/adhesive to each:
One Finger (Index; Pointing) – Epoxy Two Fingers (Handgun) – Amberlite Four Fingers (Knifehand) - Nitrocellulose Open Palm (Ki Blast) – Cyanoacrylate Closed Hand (Fist) – Urea-formaldehyde Middle Finger ('Dat Bird) – Thermoplastic All of these permit 'charging'. The longer it's held, the stronger it becomes – thought that doesn't necessarily mean BIGGER.
There are also 'tosses' that invoke their own special resins, most of them correlating with sports Baseball Pitch – BT-Epoxy Volleyball Serve – Polyvinyl Discus Throw – Time-Thinning Vinyl
There are also a range of resins that can be synthesized with both hands, one of which being pitch tar – widely considered one of the most mucilaginous substances on the planet with a shearing rate 230 billion times that of water. Now, I did mention to the group that imagination is nice and all, but some level of pragmatism had to be enacted for this to actually...work, otherwise you'd be traipsing around with your hands low to the ground, so many ideas were either incinerated by yours truly or by sheer common sense. As much as they wanted to jot down a 'move list', I pushed against it. The gloves are highly extensible by themselves and making any sort of list as to their functions beyond the instruction manual would be counter-intuitive. When I say 'this weapon is limited by your imagination', I do mean it. You can create a field of innocuous marbles that then detonate into transparent bogs of translucent resin or freeze someone in carboni-... I mean AMBER. You can fire off pellets of capsulized thermoplastics with all the vigor of a Gatling gun [through, the refractionary period after this is quite long). You could even transmute a shearing resin aegis against assailment, a fake silhouette that twines the target in arabesques of viscid tendrils, or coat the ceiling in liquid stalactites. The possibilities are, indeed, endless.
The catch is that the cooling system can only handle so much abuse, and extensive use will increase the glove's internal heat substantially. Never fear, however! I had the boys down in neuroscience augment the wrist with contact nerve stimuli (meaning there's no invasive surgery going along with this) to alert you of overheating with light soupçons well before it happens. Now, would you believe that with all this attached to these gloves, the overall weight only increased by about seven grams? Yeah, I know – preposterous, but it's true! So, we finally came to the end of the trek, had the gloves compiled and your name emblazoned on the Velcro strap, followed by our own branding in a much smaller font. All that was missing was the name. I thought 'Well, since his pseudonym on the net is Gluepaw, let's capitalize on that' Last second adjustments were made to the generators to make them look like pawpads rather than intended coins and the stabilizer was separated into two 'palmpads'. With that, the nebulous gloves finally had a designation: PlasterPaws.
You should be receiving your set within eight to ten business days. I placed the tracking number on the visual attachment. Let me know if there's any complications with the logistics. Oh, and payment? Waved. Put a dent in my paycheck, but ah well~.
Sock it to her! - Tahajin Grandville Imagineering Lead @ TajLabs Inc.
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