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Chapter 9 : The Princess And The Knight

Chapter 10 : God and Man : Sun and Ground : Noble and Peasant

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by vavacung

Gallery

To love god - To love mortal [Complete]

« prev 45 in pool next »

To Love a Knight : Why won't you let me love you?

My knight.... Why won't you let me love you?
My Knight.... It's because I'm a Princess, I'm a goddess, I'm Immortal?
My Knight.... Or is it because I'm a liar? Because I lied to you for 8 years?
My knight....Why won't you let me love you?

Am I not good enough for you?

English Edit by : tori-rune tori-rune and his sister.

Keywords

mlp 69,837, magic 24,989, love 23,983, moon 7,288, filly 6,022, luna 3,197, celestia 1,904, paper 1,865, nightmare 1,735, royal 1,583, guard 1,166, immortal 394, origami 112, mortal 107, reincarnated 46, nmm 35

Details

Type: Picture/Pinup

Published: 11 years, 2 months ago

Rating: General

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3,273 views

85 favorites

16 comments

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16 Comments on this Submission

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milestails16

11 years, 2 months ago

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Was there even a beginning to this?

Gunblazer42

11 years, 2 months ago

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Edited 11 years, 2 months ago by Owner

@ milestails16

Yeah, from the very start of the pool.

Summary: Celestia loved someone in that someone's previous life, and that someone loved her back, and swore that she'd find them again when they reincarnated as a new pony because those mortals just don't live as long as goddesses. She then found that pony's new life, and vanished by pretending to be another pony, as she promised that pony that she would make that pony love her again. And then the story chronicled their growing up, etc, etc, while Luna searched frantically for her.

vavacung

11 years, 2 months ago

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@ Gunblazer42

So good Synopsis!

Alaskafox

11 years, 2 months ago

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Wait, paper is a girl? :O

oops

vavacung

11 years, 2 months ago

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@ Alaskafox

Yes. Always be girl all along. But she look so tomboy. that all!

Alaskafox

11 years, 2 months ago

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@ vavacung

i didnt realise ^^; hehe

Zanerus

11 years, 2 months ago

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@ Alaskafox

Honestly confused me too, though not a bad thing at all.

Alaskafox

11 years, 2 months ago

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@ Zanerus

Yeah I agree ^^ still very enjoyable if not more so

Torirune

11 years, 2 months ago

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It was a very nice comic.

shadowfox79

11 years, 2 months ago

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I was the same like the rest of the readers when i realized paper was a girl .. like What!?!?!? Paper is a girl ??
then i had to re read the whole thing to get my mind around it ..and there was no real mention of it .. but ok no worries :)

I do want to give some feedback on this page for sentence structure .. namely the first block top left..

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Celestia came back to Canterlot castle and became princess of the day again..
(No problems there since she physically left and came back..)

So luna came back to be princess of the night....... ( and then it feels like tripping over carpet in my mind )

(the term "came back" implies that she physically left her position as princess of the night while she did not ..)

A better phrase would be something like.

"While luna resumed her position as princess of the night, nightmare moon lost her title and still has to find a title to fit her talent."

===============

Although it is all about personal preference in the art community i do find a fluid narrative sentence structure to be a important detail in a story.

Also I got a Question..

Why the color change in Paper's mane ?
Sure i know about color schemes but changing it for her would just put her into the slot of
"Generic side character B with a back story" unless you follow the story from the start.

Keeping the mane color would make her stand out and would then give a bigger stepping stone in personality without the use of a dialog in my opinion.

vavacung

11 years, 2 months ago

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@ shadowfox79

About Paper is a girl Please read the Descriptions in this chapter => https://inkbunny.net/submissionview.php?id=458991

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Oh...I see...That phrase look better. I will fix it now! Thank you. (I'm not good with English since English isn't my homeland's language and my homeland's language don't base on English and I'm fool as English subject. =_=)

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Her mane still deep blue and bright blue line like always. sir....It's just mane of armor. when she wear armor. she will have mane color like that. But it will be her nature color when she don't wear it.

shadowfox79

11 years, 2 months ago

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@ vavacung

Thanks for the reply :)

English isn't my native language as well so i tend to go out of my way to help people when i can
simply because i know how hard writing can be and the only real good teacher that i have found for writing literotica
is reading literotica.. And i have read a Lot of them lol.

rautamiekka

10 years, 5 months ago

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@ vavacung

In the show the mane and tail aren't just part of the armor, they're the same even without it.

rautamiekka

10 years, 5 months ago

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@ shadowfox79

Better late than never: females have eyelashes whereas males have none. That's true even in the show, and I'm sure no artist creates female char without eyelashes, less so male with one :P You can see for yourself even in this page.

Torirune

11 years, 2 months ago

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^^