The voice inside Zech had become much clearer for him. It was distinct, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get it to stop. He walked, stumbling up a mountain not far from the plains.
“You seem to hate me too…”
Zech replied audibly, as if talking to himself, which for anyone unlucky enough to spot him in his malnourished sickly form, he was. At the very top of the mountain lay a water-filled crater, and he could see a large cave entrance on the opposite end of it. The one that was calling him, why he was there at all. He sighed and with his head hanging low, he walked towards the cave. The voice spoke more, though incomprehensible. It echoed as if it was far away, though Zech knew it was inside.
“Why are we here…”
The young Llums spoke with a blank stare.
“You don’t need to understand.”
The voice laughed abnormally, a gesture that was also now expressed physically by the boy’s broken body. He smiled and coughed; his body moved on his own, walking deeper into the cave. Rosie stood close to Deon, looking at him then at the council. She wore an expression of deep sorrow and confusion.
“The voice…she says that there’s two of them. One with me, one with him. She says she can’t do anything right now, she needs more time...she told me that…we share a body now and that she loves me…and to wait a little longer”
She began trembling and sobbing, feeling light headed. The council looked wide eyed, Deon got close and gently nuzzled the side of her face. Without saying anything, he turned to look at the council, who whispered amongst themselves.
“Could it be…?”
One of them said loudly. Trying to keep his composure and his emotions in check, Deon spoke.
“Council of saints…the scripture…could this be? Blue and red have unified, and now the almighty spirit rests within this girl.”
One of the six growled.
“Blasphemy. How can this idea even cross your mind, Deon. Are you saying the child is some sort of saint? Bah.”
Deon shook his head.
“But sir… Just look at her Vie! And how her appearance has changed…The only way to know for sure then, is to wait like the voice instructed. With your permission, I’ll host young Rosie here at the temple, and we will observe.”
Lucian’s ears perked up hearing this, he quickly turned to look at the ones that sat above, showing enthusiasm.
“I’d very much like this too. There is so much to learn and observe here.”
Rosie’s mother and Hailey sat a small distance away from the altar, waiting.
“If it’s alright…I would like to spend this time with my family…”
Rosie said in a low tone, looking down at the floor. Deon and the council traded looks, then some whispers.
“If that is what you wish, Rosie. But we need to know anything and everything that happens now. In the centuries that Llums have lived below Aria, not once has a purple Vie ever been written about or seen. Some of our scouts will stay close.”
Rosie nodded lightly, before slowly walking away, not looking at any of the saints in the eyes. She reunited with her family, and they quietly walked away. Once they were gone, Lucian spoke.
“Deon. If your theory is true… The foretold return is upon us. Jolly news. But what about the other child? The twisted one?”
Without much thought, the priest scoffed.
“Aren’t you a council of saints? Don’t you know the prophecy? Aigaion will return, but before he takes our souls with him up to heaven, he must defeat the lord of darkness.”
The council looked quietly, then whispered amongst themselves once more.
“Holy ones, it’s clear to me that this is the beginning of the end. What has been foretold and written about, the faith we’ve carried for all of history... We shall pray and rejoice, the time is nigh.”
Deon’s smile returned to his face, as his Vie faded. Red Llums stopped in their tracks and silently stared whenever Rosie walked by, as her and her family returned home. That night, Hailey visited Rosie in her room.
“Sis! your fur is so pretty!”
Rosie sniffed and rubbed a tear away from her eye, looking down at the little one with a warm smile. “Thank you…I think it is, actually.”
“And you’ve become taller, too! And your light is all kinds of cool.”
Their mother stepped into the room. Suddenly, a wave of relief and inner peace washed over Rosie, who exhaled calmly and smiled.
“Hey mom. Are the scouts bugging you?”
The mother scoffed and shook her head.
“It’s alright. You are what worries me, love. How are you feeling? Has the voice said anything?” Rosie thought for a second.
“I…don’t think so. It’s kind of hard to tell…but she did ask us to wait so I suppose we do that, hm? I have this sense…that even though it’s scary and I can’t understand it yet…everything will be alright. She feels…warm.”
The family laid down together, and rested for the night. Aria and a single moon orbited the horizon, softly illuminating the night sky.
“Sister! Sister!”
Hailey yelled happily, pouncing Rosie and playfully biting her.
“Wake up! Quick!”
Rosie slowly opened her eyes. She yawned and tried to stretch, but she hit the ceiling with her head. Hailey looked with a big smile, hopping in place.
“W-what the…”
“Be not afraid.”
The voice spoke, much clearer, as if it was next to her. She looked at her room, everything seemed smaller.
“You…it wasn’t a dream, was it?”
Rosie spoke to nothingness.
“It was a dream, yes. But I was there. You saw me and I spoke. It was a real dream.”
Rosie shook her body, but she was bending over lightly in order to fit in her room.
“H-Hailey!”
The girl called. The little one replied with enthusiasm.
“Sis, you’re so pretty!”
“I-I need to see…”
She crawled through the hallway with difficulty, then reached the outside, standing up and stretching. Red Llums that walked by froze in place, looking at her in awe. As she erected herself, she could tell she was much taller now, even taller than some of the grown-ups. Her mother and Hailey quickly stepped out of the nest, and looked up. Rosie’s fur was pure white, and thicker. Longer strands of hair flowed from her head and the back of her neck, and her markings couldn’t be seen easily. She felt a strange itch on her back and sides; As she tried to stretch her shoulders, a pair of wings extended from her sides. These were not like the blue Llums’ wings; They were attached to her body and made of soft feathers. Some of the bystanders gasped, others just stared in silence. The sight was beautiful; Even the Llums that wanted to call her a demon were left speechless and didn’t find the heart to insult such a form. Rosie looked at her legs, then back at her body, and her wings. She breathed deeply, calmly.
“I saw this form in the dream…It’s true, I am her.”
Rosie’s breathing turned fast and heavy. Her eyes couldn’t focus and she seemed to stumble slightly.
“Love…I am with you. You are alright.”
The disembodied voice washed over her and she felt a wave of relief. She turned to look at seemingly nothing and caught her breath as the crowd stared. After a few seconds, she nodded and looked down at her family.
“We need to speak with Deon. We have to go to the temple, now.”
She spoke with a gentle voice, and began walking. Hailey walked next to her; due to her size she needed to trot to keep up with her big sister’s pace. She rubbed her face against one of Rosie’s legs.
“You’re so soft now!”
Hailey smiled brightly. As she walked through the town, everyone stood still, following her with their sight. Wherever she stepped, from her paw prints, sprouts began growing. It seemed as if small plant life followed her as she went. Tiny streams of water began flowing out of her shadow, and small flowers blossomed as she stepped. Seeing such a sight, the crowd began following her in awe. She looked down at them.
“Look at their faces…poor, broken creatures…”
The soft motherly voice spoke within her. As they approached the temple gates, they seemed to open by themselves. Deon and the council stepped out quickly. The priest looked in awe, with a big smile.
“I told you! Look!”
He exclaimed. Rosie sat down, two of the six members of the council stayed behind with faces of anger. Lucian followed closely behind Deon.
“Look, saints! How can you explain this glorious form? She’s been touched by the divine! Oh, Rosie, do you bring us news? Has the voice spoken again?”
Deon spoke with clear excitement. Rosie then extended her wings. Her Vie lit up slowly; the crowd gasped at the sight. Bright purple like before, but in swirling patterns along her body that no Llums had ever shown. With her light, flowers and leaves sprouted slowly amongst the crowd’s paws.
“Behold!”
One from the council spoke.
“Aigaion…! It’s Aigaion!”
Some from the crowd yelled. Llums blue and red, Bowed down. Deon did so as well.
“Rise. Do not worship me, my loves.”
Rosie no longer spoke like herself. Her voice was that of an older Llums, and though she whispered, everyone heard it within themselves. They slowly raised their heads.
“The news I bring are not joyful.”
Rosie said while looking directly at Deon, who struggled to look up at her in the eyes.
Zech laid on his side on the cold dirt floor of the cave. His body twitched, his joints cracked as he spasmed in place. He laid with a blank gaze, breathing heavily, choking and wheezing, speaking within himself.
“It hurts…why are you doing this?”
He squirmed harshly, trying to regain control of his limbs, whining as they seemed to fight him back. Over and over he tried to stand up, just for one of his paws to bend and make him trip.
“Oh child, stop fighting it. I’m here to bring pain. Calamity brings me such joy… and so much sorrow...”
The voice spoke clearly. Deep and powerful, echoing through his entire body. He twisted, letting out small whimpers as tears of blood dripped on the floor.
“You don’t make any sense. If it brought you sorrow you wouldn’t be doing this.”
Zech responded out loud.
“Am I the one doing it, really? Oh you filthy creature. I didn’t want any of this. This isn’t my doing. Maybe if you bow down and put your face to the dirt I can spare you.”
“What do you want? Get out of my head! Can you at least tell me who you are?”
The boy now spoke without moving his lips, as his Vie flashed and flickered uncontrollably.
“Oh I pity you, child. My name, or what you lot call me…is Aigaion.”
So they're both Aigaion? A very interesting chapter though, and I really feel bad for both of them to be honest.
If I may offer a slight critique, the story does feel rushed at times, and does kinda feel like it just jumps back and forth a bit too suddenly. It's not a deal breaker at all though, and I am excited to see where this story continues to go from here.
So they're both Aigaion? A very interesting chapter though, and I really feel bad for both of them t
I see others pointing towards it feeling rushed too. Though the intention has always been to keep the story short, it's not good if the pacing feels off. Dully noted, thanks~
Maybe! Happy you enjoyed. I see others pointing towards it feeling rushed too. Though the intention
I still like this, and I'm really curious to see where it's going. Keep it up!
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One thought from an avid reader of actual books regarding formatting (it's not even part of writing itself) is to separate the jumps in scene with a delineation like above.
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Or like that. Or whatever other style you prefer- books and the like use a ton of various styles, and it doesn't really matter. But something to tell the reader that there's been a jump in context helps it read more cleanly, since even if the jumps are supposed to happen very fast and be disorienting, it's so ubiquitous in books that lacking something more substantial than a new paragraph makes the reader reread the last line to be sure they didn't miss something.
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Don't take this as a major critique- people also break every rule and pattern out there on purpose, too, and I'm just guessing that it isn't that.
I still like this, and I'm really curious to see where it's going. Keep it up! --- One thought fro
Others have also pointed out how it feels rushed. It's true that the intent has always been to keep the story short and "to the point", but having it feel off isn't good. Thanks for the feedback!
I'm very happy that you're enjoying. Others have also pointed out how it feels rushed. It's true th
I intentionally didn't call it rushed- the pacing has actually been good in my view. Short stories aren't novels, and getting to the point faster is part of their charm (fun note, the serialized story is also very old form... people used to publish whole books one short chapter at a time in even in the 1800s).
I was just pointing out a convention of how the same words are formatted so they read more clearly, not implying anything more. I've heard that a lot of the time, it's not even the writer who initially picks things like that in professionally published fiction- it's the editor doing it, and the writer just signs off on it.
I intentionally didn't call it rushed- the pacing has actually been good in my view. Short stories a
