"Hey, you! Underling! I'm bored..."
The voice carried the faintest trace of an accent that was difficult to place. It was not unpleasant to listen to, and yet carried a hint that it could become discordant and screechy if it were to rise in pitch. As in anger. Though its owner rarely become angry these days. In fact... he was rarely happy, either. Mostly, as he told the underling who stood in attendance beside the floating throne upon which he half sat, half lay, in a slouch of supreme disinterest, bare feet and segmented tail dangling, he was just bored.
"Oh, master, how may I be of service?" asked the underling. His voice, though nervous, carried a slight undertone of gravelly, almost electronic menace. Though he was never truly relaxed in his leader's presence, his voice was indicative of one who wielded enormous authority outside of his master's presence, which he wielded with sadistic joy, for indeed he was second only to the supreme ruler. His was a voice incapable of any emotion save fear - and then only of a loss of personal power - and joyful sadism.
He was tall. Taller than his master, the undisputed ruler of the universe. His skin was especially pale, with a high, fin-like protrusion atop his bald head, which, combined with his narrow, red eyes with their reptilian slitted pupils and mouth full of sharp teeth, gave him the appearance of a shark which had been granted semi-human form.
"Do something!" replied the unquestioned ruler of all he surveyed out the window of his highrise office in downtown Bellwood, as though his second in command's question of how he might serve him was the ignorant question of the lowest sort of simpleton.
Psyphon, as he was known, though no one quite knew why, for the reason for this nickname had long since ceased to matter since his original master Vilgax's humiliating defeat and demise, cleared his throat. An unpleasant sound in the quiet of the office. The only other sound was the gentle mechanical drone of the repulsor lift which kept his employer's throne elevated exactly three feet off the floor. He pondered for a moment, then an oily grin spread across his features.
"Perhaps your court jesters might come in and cavort and amuse you with jokes...?" he suggested.
At first, his master made no reply. Psyphon's grin faltered. Had he misspoke? Was he about to endure a thunderous outburst? No. Although his master's disappointing response nevertheless made him jerk backwards slightly, despite how boredly and quietly it was spoken. "If I wanted to amuse myself, I'd just chuck you across the room. You'd look pretty funny sliding down the wall. Try again."
Psyphon considered. He didn't like the idea of being humiliated for his employer's amusement. Besides. He didn't think the ruler of the universe was in the mood to laugh. Though he was generally easier to stand when amused. Though his master wasn't ordinarily the type to ponder the mysteries of the universe - both out of a general lack of curiosity about much of anything beyond his own personal gain and because there was little he didn't know or couldn't have explained to him - Psyphon considered the many experts who might debate with him. Experts carefully chosen to be the right amount of intelligent and stupid to be very smart, but not smart enough to outwit their employer.
"Perhaps your scientists and philosophers could present, um, all manner of logical arguments for your consideration, and for you to agree or refute...?"
The ruler of the universe rolled his unhealthy-looking yellow eyes, and the short black quills which comprised his upswept, almost punkish hairstyle twitched a bit. He was increasingly going from bored to agitated. Though when he responded with his usual seeming indifference, Psyphon detected in his voice that something about what he'd said had indeed started the gears inside his master's spiky-haired head turning. "I'm not in the mood for a bunch of know-nothing know-it-alls to explain a bunch of scientific mumbo-jumbo to me I don't have any practical use for."
Getting desperate now, Psyphon moved to stand directly before his floating master. Although even with the floating throne, the unusually short individual seated before him was at eye level with him, Psyphon made a point of hunching slightly so he was looking up at him with his eyes. "Would it not please you to hear your experts explain in great detail you magnificence? And why life is meaningless without your... benevolent rule?"
The figure in the floating throne considered this a moment. His mind was wandering. Something about scientific knowledge had triggered a memory. A vivid one. Though one long forgotten these past few years. He found some merit in what Psyphon said... but knew that having his ego stroked wasn't likely to improve his mood. Not this time. And he said as much. "Yes. It would please me. But I'd still be bored!"
His hand made a fist and slammed into the armrest of the chair. Psyphon frowned. He narrowed his eyes, then widened them, and his grin returned. "Perhaps... the testing of a civilization!"
Now that pleased his master. The seated figure shifted and sat up straighter, assuming a more kingly posture, one arm on the throne's armrest. The other, which featured a device on the wrist, was raised to stroke his chin on contemplation. "Yes... yes... that would be loads of fun!" He leaned forward. "But, Psyphon, ol' buddy, I've already tested every dang planet in this rotten universe at least once. Some twice." The throne moved forward, bringing him closer to the window. Psyphon delicately stepped aside as the ruler of the universe stopped at the window, gazing out at the nighttime skyline of Bellwood. And at the stars above and beyond. "But... something about what you said earlier reminded me of something I saw a little while ago."
"What, sire?"
"It doesn't matter right now." He glanced over his shoulder, the floating throne turning in midair slightly. "But I think I will talk to my experts. Get my smartypants science guys up here. Pronto. I wanna ask 'em what they know about... alternate dimensions."
"Alternate dimensions?" Psyphon was puzzled at first, but then understood what he master meant. He smiled, nodded, and bowed, then, with a curt, "As you command!" turned and scurried from the office like the rat his master resembled. The two brutish, armored warriors by the door watched him go impassively.
Argit watched him go, then smiled. Maybe his day wasn't going to be as boring as he'd feared after all. He did so enjoy testing civilizations. And the idea of testing an entire new universe's worth of civilizations greatly appealed to him. It had been several years since he'd won the Omnitrix (which he had since rechristened the "Argitrix" in honor of himself), and with it he had tested many civilizations through the universe. By conquering them one by one and looting them of their wealth, which now filled his impossibly vast treasure vaults, along with all the payments and tribute he'd demanded, and been given, in exchange for not destroying other worlds. And occasionally saving them. And to think his secret police commanders warned him that there were occasionally whispers of rebellion and resentment among the population. What a bunch of baloney! He was a man of the people! If the people were dissatisfied, clearly his propaganda experts weren't doing their jobs properly.
He was looking forward to the possibilities his scientific experts would present him with. Ever since he'd seen that meddling time traveler Professor Paradox briefly walk out of some kind of weird glowing portal in his treasure vault a few years ago, he'd been intrigued by the possibility of alternate universes as well as alternate pasts and futures. But at the time, he hadn't yet reached the level of boredom he had now. A boredom so complete that only an entirely new universe with its endless possibilities - endless potential similarities and differences - could alleviate it. Was he feeling--
Yes.
He smiled.
He was feeling suddenly very excited. And happy.
And not the least bit bored.
