Okay. 15 minutes. I went down to the laundromat today. Had a lot of dirty clothes. Stains on my undies and such. I got a pocketful of quarters. Need to do my stuff as quickly as possible and get out. I go in and separate my clothes, putting them in and turning on the machines. There's not many other people around today. Slow day. There's a lady with a stroller and a baby. There's a man who has a blue baseball cap. And then there's me. Nobody special. I sit and wait for my laundry and think "I'm a bit famished" so I head over to the vending machine. An odd looking vending machine. Old with pull tabs, like the old cigarette machines. No matter, it takes quarters, so I plug four in and pull a tab. Out slides a candy bar. Not a candy bar I've ever seen before. It says "Chocolate covered Tuna Butter snack" on the wrapper. Gross. I'm not eating that. I stick four more quarters into the machine and pull another tab. A bag slides down the slot. I pick it up. "Crunchy Kiln-dried Grasshoppers." That's even worse! Alright last shot. Four more quarters and another tab. A can slides out. There appears to be no label on it, but it has a pop cap. I pop the top and smoke billows out of the can. It swirls and sparkles and great fanfare of horns plays. The sparkly smoke comes together and I find myself staring at a genie. "Holy crap! A real genie!" I say. The woman with the stroller glances at me with disinterest, and the man with the hat just glares at me before looking away. I guess they don't care. I say: "Hey, does this mean I get three wishes?" The genie frowns. "No, master. I can only grant one wish. Inflation, you see." Ah, yeah. That seems about right. Things are tight all around, I suppose. "I suppose I'll make my wish," I say, "Unless there are rules?" The genie shrugs. "Not many rules about wishes. Let's hear it and I'll let you know." I think for a moment, because I only have one wish. I have to make sure it's a good one. "I wish for a million dollars." The genie waves his hand. "Done, you now have a million hollers." Wait, what? That's not what I asked for.
Turns out it takes a long time to holler a million times.
