Check one! Check two! Sibilance! Sibilance! Is it on? Yeah? Okay then...Ranger Summer Knight, Omicron Unit, designation 11042013. This is my story of how I became a Rem Ranger.
My story begins in mid to late 1999 in my birth reality, Dimension Omicron-937. I grew up with a love of all things animation from its humble beginnings to the more recent stuff. I had just turned seventeen that summer when my dad took me on a road trip before I went to college to get my degree in animation. I was pulling an all-nighter studying for my entrance exam when I got snacky. I was getting something from the vending machines across the road from the motel we had stopped at that fateful night when suddenly, a loud, twinkling sound and a bright star caught me by surprise!
The bright object came crashing down in a patch of desert 20 feet behind the machines. I was uncertain whether it was curiosity or something else that drew me to that large crater, but I knew that whatever was in the center, I had to claim it before the government did. And what I found looked like a dreamcatcher with a pentagram-like pattern in it. The next morning, there was a knock on the door to my room. When I opened the door, I saw a large, bearded man in a black suit.
"Good morning, miss" the man said, "May I have a word with you?" At first, I didn't pay that close attention to what he said because I heard his voice Echo. What he just said in both Spanish and Japanese. "Miss?"
"I don't suppose this has something to do with a...B-broken water pipe, does it?" I gulped.
"Before we continue" the man started, "Try focusing on one language" He paused while I thought about the English language. "Better?" I nodded. "Now then, there IS no broken water pipe" he assured me, "In fact, there is no giant hole indicating that anything happened last night. Nothing but miles of desert. Furthermore, you picked up nothing of interest from said hole. Understood?"
"U-understood" I answered. I ran back to where the crater was after the man left, and sure enough, it was gone. I kept the dreamcatcher on my person ever since and spent the rest of the trip wondering what had happened that summer night. Did all of this really happen? Was it a dream? Who would believe me? All I knew was, it would make for a fantastic premise for my first show when I made a name for myself in the industry. What, you thought my birth name was Summer Knight? No, I was actually born under the name Diana B'Turly. Why did I change it? Well, I actually didn't. But, we're not at that part of the story yet.
When I returned home for Thanksgiving Weekend, we discovered that I had Terminal Pneumonia. This was distressing for me because I had finished the storyboard and Series Bible for my pilot thesis, and I didn't want to die before I could see Summer Knight, Dream Ranger come to life. Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be because after a long-fought battle, the pneumonia won by the stroke of midnight, New Year's Eve. When I opened my eyes, I saw a dishearteningly familiar face...or lack thereof. Black, hooded cloak, skeletal body, scythe, the whole thing. There was just one thing out of place; Instead of a chess board on a cloudy day at the beach like I would envision this encounter, we were sitting at a desk in what looked like an office cubicle.
"Ms. Diana B'Turly?" He said finally without looking away from his paperwork. He sounded like he was being voiced by Jim Cummings.
"Y-yes?" I replied, trying not to cry.
"Tragically ironic name, my dear" he added, "My name is Mike. I am...Your caseworker"
"Is this Purgatory?" I asked, recovering from the shock, "Because for some bizarre reason, I always pictured starting out in an ice cream shop" Mike simply chuckled at my claim. "So is this where you will decide my...Final Destination?" I continued, "I'm willing to admit I've done some things I'm not too proud of. Particularly in the form of flip-books"
"I have your permanent record right here, Ms. B'Turly" Mike answered, "I can assure you that it takes a lot more than this to land you in Hhhhhello. What have we here?" Mike looked me over. Curious, I looked down at myself to see what he was looking at. The first thing I noticed was that I was still wearing my pajamas. That made sense, considering I died in them, slippers and all. The second thing I realized was that my dream catcher was now seemingly grafted onto me where my navel should have been. I finally realized the biggest change in my appearance. My body was covered in pastel green fur from head to toe, I had a tail, big, round ears, and my hair was in a pair of ponytails...and pink! It couldn't have been. But it would explain the pink dot I was seeing bouncing up and down between my eyes.
"Do you have a mirror?" I asked visibly on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Mike shook his head, sporting a bewildered expression on his bony face. I reached behind myself, yelping when I actually gripped a mirror handle. I slowly pulled out the mirror and looked right into it silently freaking out and trembling as I met my own gaze. Upon finally seeing my new face, my arm forcibly jerked out in front of me as my eyes stretched out to its length, my slippers popped off my feet, my eight toes all spread out, my free arm bent to where the palm of my hand was atop my head, my hair stood out like two broom brushes, my nose and tail formed an exclamation point, a series of stock screams escaped my throat and finally, my tongue stretched out, spelling out "WHAT THE HEY!?" all before I reverted back to my previous state.
"Hmm" Mike hummed, "Word around the water cooler was that we were to receive a new Ranger from an Omicron Dimension, but from MY jurisdiction? What an honor!" He stood up and grabbed his scythe, preparing to leave the cubicle. "Come" he demanded, snapping me out of my new shock. I got up and followed him. As we walked through the office, I saw many other creatures, and many looked like Mike in many shapes and sizes.
"Don't dawdle, please" Mike said as we approached the elevator, "We must stay on pseudoschedule" I followed him into the elevator as he pulled a key out of his sleeve, turned it in a keyhole revealing some kind of special button and closed the doors.
"But, I don't understand!" I said, still trying to make sense of the situation, "What happened to me? Is this the form my soul took on by itself? You called me a Ranger earlier. Do you mean to tell me that there's such a thing as Dream Rangers!?"
"Patience, Ms. B'Turly" Mike replied, placing his fingers on my lips, "All shall be answered soon"
The elevator opened to a parking lot full of hearses of different colors and styles. Mike pressed a button on his car-finder, disarming the alarm on the nearest one to us. He gestured me to hop into the front seat. We drove into a nearby city that looked incredibly cartoonish. Living objects and buildings, animalistic-looking people like me, a plethora of other creatures. It almost reminded me of Cool World, except brighter-colored, cleaner, more modern-looking, more pleasant, and not as noirish in appearance.
"This place" I murmured, "It's..."
"Almost similar to a film you once saw?" Mike asked, "That's because the man who made the film and those who altered it to what you have seen had a strong signal to the reality it is based in"
"Signal?" I asked.
"You see, Ms. B'Turly," Mike explained, "What you call 'imagination' is in truth a series of different signals to other realities, accessed by the subconscious mind through the Ethereal Plaines. The more coherent of which are broadcasted here in Remland and become works such as television shows, comic books, novels, video games and other such things"
"And...Fan Labor?" I asked out of curiosity.
"As you could surmise, those are the byproducts of signals from alternate versions of those worlds. From ones have additional aspects to their 'lore' to those where their inhabitants are a little more promiscuous. True imagination is something those like you have experienced. For you see, there is no record of the being you have become existing anywhere in the omniverse...Ah, here we are" Mike pulled up to a building that seemed to be a police station. We entered the lobby and met the chief, who looked like a short, stout, squat balding frog with a mustache, insect features, bull horns, boils dotting his body, and what looked like a golden trinket in the shape of the Star Of David stuck to his forehead just like my dreamcatcher was stuck to my belly.
"You the new kid?" he asked in a gruff voice.
"I...Guess so?" I said, unsure of what was going on.
"Newly reborn and already, you've given me a mountain of paperwork" he grumbled, "Do you know that your ice cream shop idea leaked to every Seth McFarlane in the omiverse!?"
"Obviously, her Badge hasn't properly capped her power yet" Mike theorized.
"My Badge?" I asked.
"These ain't fancy piercings we got" the Chief said, pointing to the trinket.
After looking between the trinket and my dreamcatcher, I finally asked, "So, what do we do here, Mister...?"
"Kareem" he answered, "And, it's Chief to you and YOUR name?"
"Oh, uh, Diana B'Turly" I replied.
"Not anymore, it ain't" the Chief refuted, "There ain't no Diana B'Turly no more. All records of her down to every version of her who had ever existed were erased when she became you. Now, how's about another try?"
"...Summer Knight?"
"There ya go" the Chief said, handing me the following, "This is your handbook. The pages with the red spot in the corner are the ones you need to really memorize. This is the key to your quarters. Look for the door whose number matches. There, you'll find your welcome package, which includes a map. New Remlanders often get lost their first few Remdays. Your first Remday at the academy starts in 3 Remhours and you'll get your first assignment upon graduation. Welcome to your new life, kid"
As the Chief left, I looked at all of the important stuff in my possession and then, back to Mike.
"Are you absolutely SURE this isn't-?"
[Entry #5152025 concluded]
