Chapter 2: Acclimating
As unremarkable as the chicken nuggets were, I was definitely upset when they were gone. Not because I wanted more; I’m not some baby after all. But because that meant it was time to deal with my diaper. And if it wasn’t absolutely disgusting to be in it and constantly reminding me that I peed myself at some point, I would never let this Lucario have the satisfaction of cleaning me up. But as it was, it was getting cold, and clammy, and I just had to be in a dry diaper! I mean, uh… I need to not be wearing this wet one anymore. Okay, that thought isn’t any better.
Auran picked me up under my armpits again, and I once more felt a surge of weird energy through me but it wasn’t as strong as it was before. I could still move, but everything felt slow and sluggish. Maybe this is what he meant to do the first time? How could he have messed that up? Isn’t this place, like, his whole job?
This time I did pay attention to the journey, because at least I knew this jerk wasn’t gonna hurt me. Oh good, at least I can say that still… Um, anyway, the cafeteria opens out into another hallway, where he turns right and then goes through another door back into that small foyer. It seems like the front door is probably over there, in front of the stairs next to us. The same stairs I think we came down before… That’s not so far from the room they’re keeping me in, if it’s the same room. I hope it is…
There were pictures on the wall going up. Graduates, maybe? A bunch of adult Pokemon posing in each one with a bunch of happy looking baby Pokemon. But how could they be happy? If they were brought here like me, shouldn’t they be furious? He said he wasn’t going to mess with my head, but how could he not if this is the desired outcome? I refuse to believe I will ever go along with whatever it is they’re trying to do to me.
Oh no, that’s right, I didn’t actually get a whole lot of the details! I forgot to ask. What are they going to do to me here? “Um, Auran?” Ugh, why did I sound like that. That was so timid, hardly befitting the great champion I was. Is it part of his aura control he has over me? It better be. Wish he’d stay out of my head like he promised!
“What are they gonna do to me here?”
“That’s a good question, little guy. You can think of this like, um, pre-preschool, I guess. It’s like a daycare in that it deals with all kinds of baby Pokemon, but also like a preschool in that it has plenty of structure and activities to it.”
“But, why? How will any of that make me…better?”
Somehow Auran knew what I meant by that. Can he read my mind, too? “I know you don’t think you actually did anything wrong so there’s nothing to improve, but the goal of this program is to help you see where you went wrong. So trust me, we’ll get to that soon enough. While we may not be messing with your heads directly, we want to try and whittle you down into the babies you are, so that we can build you back up into good boys and girls. We have a 100% success rate. So don’t you worry your little head.”
Thanks. Wasn’t really worried about that. And it didn’t really answer my question…
Back in the- eugh, nursery, Auran closed the door and it seemed to lock automatically with a click. That could be an issue later. He carries me over to the table I first woke up on and sets me on it, prompting me to try and distract myself. So I start scanning the room again, even while he’s actively turning me and laying me onto my back, where my poor wings used to be… And before long, I could hear the ripping of the diaper’s tapes, like bells tolling for my fate. Wait, I wanted to make a different analogy there, something about gu-COLD!
He hasn’t even touched me yet, but there was instantly a cold wind that shot through the second the diaper was pulled open. It’s so much colder than the diaper itself was! How is that even possible? I squirm and try to cross my legs, but he stops me.
“Who there, little firehose. Don’t wriggle too much, you’re fine. You’ll get used to it fast. This happens to all the fire types when we take their used diapers off. It’s not so bad if they’re clean.” Could he stop it with the cute nicknames? Little guy was bad enough, but now making up cutesy language for me like this is just humiliating. Regardless, I do as he says and settle down, and it starts to cool off pretty quickly. But it kinda felt like it was tingling some…
I look down to see him actually tugging the front of the diaper up at an angle some. He doesn’t cover me back up, that would probably defeat the purpose of letting me get used to the temperature difference in the air, but it’s kinda like he’s…catching something? What is he doing?
“I hope all your changes are as easy as this. Most babies pee when their diapers are removed after they’ve been wearing them a while, but fire types are the worst. And boys worst of all! But you hardly even dribbled. Guess you must’ve been all empty, huh?”
Ggk! That was definitely not what I wanted to hear at all! Okay, nope, no no. I have to ignore this entire interaction. Nothing good can come of listening to all this babyish chatter. I quickly turn my head back to the nursery at paw and study every little thing I can about it, even as I feel another cold thing touching me. It’s less cold than it could be…maybe he had some way of warming the wipes?
No! Why am I thinking about it still?! Gotta focus. I stare out into the room, taking note that the toys definitely look played with, so the room wasn’t always empty then. There’s even a bag here… Wait, no, isn’t that my bag? Those straps were widened specifically for my wings so it could sit between them on my back. It was always annoying because I had to take it off to get anything from it. Not like side bags. But those limited my motion too much. Quadrupeds were lucky they got to just have saddle bags and could get everything with their teeth.
Woop, gravity’s shifting as my butt is being lifted in the air! I get a fast peak of myself, not that there’d even be anything to see on a reptilian Pokemon like me, but it was hard not to look at what the Lucario was doing! The area my diaper was shined just a little with what was probably the wipes, but definitely didn’t look visibly wet at all. Either he was quick, or my distraction was working! I hoped the latter…
He removes the old diaper and lets me back down. The mat was a little bit cold, but not too bad. Guess my body heat was helping with that by now, even though I am a lot smaller than I used to be. And now he’s shuffling around under the table… So I get back to looking at my bag.
It seems like it came out of the fight worse for wear. It was covered in burns and both straps were broken by cuts. Suddenly I get a flash of memory, followed by a mild headache. A sword had cut across my chest… I could still feel where it had stung my scales. But I was a powerful Charizard, I could take it. It was hardly the worst of my injuries.
Back to the present, I gently put my paw where the gash had been. There’s no pain…not even a scar. Auran must’ve caught me looking, or maybe thinking about it. “Like I said. All gone. All better. You’re in a safe place now. Maybe you’ll choose to be a fighter again when you grow up, but hopefully for good this time! And you’ve got a really long time before you have to worry about any of that again.” He already had a new diaper out, and was actually showing it to me! It was like the other one, but this one had eggs populating it all over with the fire types, and a volcano where the Charizard face had been. It might be the same brand, but something was clearly different. -Gah! Why do I even care?! It’s just a dumb diaper.
He smiles at me, making me realize I’m smiling too, and I quickly turn my head away in shame as a frown takes its place. “Don’t be like that, buddy. The more you just go along with everything, the smoother it’ll go. Maybe you could even learn to like it all.”
Like being treated like a baby? As if. I just cross my arms, feeling all pouty. This is babyish, too, but it’s the first thing I thought of… And I just wanted to get it across to this stupid Lucario how upset I clearly was!
He just gives me a pat on my belly, and lifts my legs again to put the new diaper under me. Once in place, he applies a bunch of that powder I saw earlier, making the air all sweet smelling. It smelled kinda nice, in spite of everything. And then the diaper was being lifted up between my legs and taped closed, signalling the end of my- Of a diaper change.
So that’s what was different… This diaper is thinner. Is there a reason for that? It’s been two lifetimes since I was an actual baby, so I can’t seem to put my finger on why they’d want this one to be thinner.
He sits me up and helps me down, not fully picking me up but transferring me from one surface to another. Did he have to sit me on my butt, though? “There you go! Now, you go on and explore and think about what you’ll wanna do. I’ll be around. But if I catch you moping and doing nothing, I will decide what you’re going to do today. You hear? I want you to get used to things on your own terms, but I won’t have any depressed babies on my watch. So get scooting.”
He heads over to a rocking chair by a little bookshelf and takes a seat, watching me expectantly. I groan inwardly, realizing I have to make some kind of a show for him or else he’ll take me off to do something humiliating to me. That was truly diabolical.
Trying to take my mind off how creepy it was that he was staring at me, I went over to investigate my bag first. This made Auran react, of course… “Oh, oops. I forgot I left that in here. It was all the belongings you had on you when we took you in. I was going through it… You didn’t carry any weapons, did you? So I guess there’s no harm in you checking it out. I’ll put it in storage with the rest for when you grow up a bit more, after.”
Rolling my eyes, I open the flap where the buckle had been crushed, maybe by my own weight if I had crashed onto it in the fight, I don’t remember. Of course I didn’t carry weapons, I didn’t need them! I was a weapon. I didn’t need to rely on swords, bows, or daggers like some of those other losers. I had my sorcery, which is what moves were called most often in this world, and was different from spells that more of the brainy Pokemon would study and learn. This world really was nothing like I expected it might be from the video games about it my world had. Nothing like it at all… If I hadn’t been here so long, I might’ve still thought this was some kind of fever dream while I lay in a hospital bed in a coma. But I simply never woke up from it, so this all has to be real as far as I’m concerned.
After fishing around for a while, my paw latches onto a strip of fabric and I begin pulling it out. It was a fuschia colored scarf, one of my most prized possessions and a gift to me from a fellow Pokemon, back when I used to fight on a team with my trainer. My trainer… What a joke he turned out to be. I’d rather just think about the Pokemon that gave this to me. Finn… He was a Totodile when we met, and we evolved together at nearly the same rate. He fought using sorcery like me. Fighting that way just felt better, he’d say, like every move and action had to be planned out and executed perfectly by you. No gear or weapons to fall back on. He’s the only thing I miss from those days.
Pulling the scarf all the way out while I reminisced, and even let myself smile a little again, a weight fell into the depths of my stomach as my breath chilled my core. The scarf was in tatters.
Tears immediately welled up in my eyes as my mouth dropped open. The scarf was torn in several places, and blackened at the end where it had been burned. Had I been wearing it the night when I fell? Or did this damage happen earlier? I…really can’t remember. But seeing it like this while thinking about my best friend in the whole world definitely made me want to ball my eyes out like the baby I now appeared to be. But I still had control of myself and wouldn’t let that happen. At least, that’s what I told myself, and it took several seconds of my vision getting blurrier and blurrier, before a blink informed me I was, in fact, crying. Silently, thank Arceus, but I couldn’t control my sniffles as my nose became watery in tandem.
Either my lip must’ve been quivering, or this Lucario was more observant than a bird Pokemon, because the next thing I knew I was feeling his arms around me as he picked me up. He didn’t paralyze me this time, but I still felt his aura creeping into me. It felt…warm, actually. It was like a hug for my soul I didn’t know I needed. I could feel care and warmth and love pouring from him as I looked up through teary eyes and my sniffles settled down some.
“That item must mean a lot to you. I’m sorry I didn’t know sooner, but I promise I’ll get the best ‘mon to take care of it. They’ll do their best and restore it so I can bring it back to you, okay? It may never be quite the same as it was, and might have a few leftover scars, but it’s worth it to see you smile again.”
I’m not sure I believed him. I’m not sure I wanted to believe him. He was using his aura to manipulate me, after all! But right now, I just didn’t care. It felt good, and that’s what I wanted, no… What I needed right now. So I buried myself into his embrace and my tears soaked into his fur where my face went. And we just stayed like that for a while.
After some time had allowed me to settle down, he returned me to the floor and asked for the scarf, promising it’ll be okay and that I’ll see it again some day soon. I relinquished it, and he put it back in the bag before taking that, too. The door opened to his touch and I swear I saw a momentary pink glow coming from the pads of his paw. That was a sign of magic, and meant the caster had a pink aura… That didn’t help me much, since I can’t see aura like Lucarios can, so I wouldn’t know who cast it unless I saw them cast another spell personally. He left through the door and closed it, allowing it to automatically lock again, and I was alone…
I sat there for maybe a minute, before snapping myself out of my stupor by shaking my head and slapping my cheeks a few times. “What is wrong with you…” I mutter to myself as I look down at my paws. The paws of a Charmander… I had to find my way out of here. Once I become strong again, I can come back here and take back my things by force. I don’t need to be so darn sentimental! …Guess I can’t invoke Arceus’ name in expletives, either.
I stand up, dust myself off, get reminded I’m still in a diaper, grumble to myself, and head over to the cribs with the window. He said my moves won’t work, and my muscle memories are all gone. Surely that couldn’t have included climbing… Before I had wings, I had to get very good at that. It’s one of the first things I learned in my new body. Maybe if I just try, it’ll come back to me again.
So, I grab onto the bed frame, which was around chin height for me, and start to pull my body up. It was difficult, very difficult. But I actually was able to get one of my feet onto the edge of the frame at the bottom of the bars. It was basically a pull-up that I had to do to get started… But Pokemon are stronger than humans, even as babies, so as long as I can keep my focus and coordination, I should be able to master this.
I stood with one leg dangling in the air for I don’t even want to know how many minutes before I realized I really should figure out how to get the other foot up before I ran out of stamina. For some reason I couldn’t visualize the motion in my head, so instead I just try to tackle it practically. Right now, my right leg is up and making me lean heavily to my left. So the left leg has to go up to my left to straighten me out… Yea, that made sense.
I begin putting my plan into motion. I could feel my muscles protesting my action the entire time as I had to tug my entire body weight up now instead of only half of it, but with grit and determination, I was able to pull it off! And now I’m standing on the side of a crib with nothing but bars above me. Now what?
I look up at them. I think I’m about half the height of these bars, so it shouldn’t be too hard to climb before I got tired. But how do you climb bars? Maybe it’s like climbing a rope. …If only I knew how to do that, either. I guess knowledge has got to be messed up in some way by whatever that machine was that changed me. That’s a serious side effect, so maybe that’s one of the reasons it wasn’t so widely adopted yet. Not that I could ever think this as an alternative to aging…
I guess I am kinda lucky, though, with a Charizard’s life span. Technically I never actually grew out of my adolescent or teenage years according to Charizard society, even if I had managed to evolve. What I did would have been considered harmful or dangerous by my peers. I pushed my body hard. To my absolute limits and beyond them. Often I tore muscles from training so hard. And I got rewarded by evolving, but I was still short. Still young… Stunted, they’d tell me. I made up for that in raw power alone; my training was worth it. But I wouldn’t have had to worry about old age for maybe a few centuries, almost like a true dragon type. And I was pretty sure I could still grow to be as big as my peers, evolved early or not. I was only two heads smaller than them, after all! Easily still double my height as a Charmeleon.
But back on the missing knowledge. My memories are still there; the ones before my last battle are actually much clearer. I could remember the training I went through to make sure I was in top shape for my team, and how Finn would often coach me on moving around in a Pokemon’s body. I can even remember how I learned to climb cliffs. But the knowledge I learned there is…it’s like someone drew all over it with black ink. How did that even work?
Wait. Cliff climbing? Shouldn’t this be more like ropes? Was there a reason my brain thought of that? Is it trying to help me work it out even if the knowledge is truly gone? I have to focus on that. What was special about cliffs that made it similar to this situation? I stared up at the bars, trying to imagine a cliff was sitting before me. How would I get to the top?
There was this crack right where I was standing, going all the way up the rock wall. It was thinner than me, maybe half of my size. I could wedge myself in there… Oh! I think I know what I need to do. I do need to wedge myself in, but in a way that I can still move. So I cross my arms and grab the bars on opposite sides of them, bracing my feet against the correct sides. My hands can’t actually fit all the way around the bars so I can still keep my grip tight even with this reverse-grip brace. That’s actually kinda a lucky break that only happened because I’m smaller now. Only my arms are crossed, so my feet have enough dexterity to keep my balance. Then, gripping as hard as I can with my paws on the in-sides of the bars and braced tightly against them, I shuffle up. First my left side, with my right arm, and then the opposite. I was actually starting to make progress!
I keep shimmying this way until I make it all the way to the top and rest my stomach on the top bar. At least I don’t weigh too much, so this doesn’t hurt. And it’s padded up here with a blue cushion, like the top of the table, which makes perfect sense given what I just did as an apparently baby Pokemon! But regardless, I can finally see out the window. But what I see…makes absolutely no sense.
It looks like there’s a huge park out there, and the building surrounds it like a giant cube with an open hole to the sky in the middle. There’s some shaded areas under groupings of trees, with paths and benches… And all the way on the opposite side from me is the promised play ground, so the fatter section of the building behind it must be the daycare. This is all normal… Sometimes private schools can be built like this.
Except that it makes no sense. I’ve seen the layout of the interior. The cafeteria and the hallway connecting to it should be right below this window! How is that even possible? Could I be mistaken? …No. Nothing in my head feels broken. The memories aren’t fuzzy or anything. Just the two layouts don’t line up with each other at all. There must be some kind of trickery here. Some magic or sorcery I’m not seeing; I guess I never was really adept at picking up on either tricks. But what’s the purpose?
Oh. To make escape attempts harder. Why did I think this was helpful first instead of trying the door? I wasn’t even thinking about leaving. I just wanted to see out the window. Is this another side effect?
Before I can follow that train of thought, I had turned my head while making my realization to look at the door in question, and found Auran standing behind me just as I finished the final word in my head. Startled, my whole body jumps…and I end up tipping right over the rail and into the crib proper! Gosh that was a comfortable surface to land on. So squishy…
“Oh, sorry if I spooked ya little fella. Feeling ready for a nap already? You know, you could have just asked. The only time we won’t take you away for naps or quiet time by yourself is during scheduled activities. After all, this is a rehabilitation program, so you simply must attend your classes.” It feels like there’s another reason there he’s not telling me… “But you don’t have any of those today! So if you’re feeling sleepy…”
“No!” I cut him off. His resulting scowl at my admittedly way too loud outburst actually made me gulp like a toddler who knows he did something wrong. “Wh-what I mean is, I’m not sleepy.” What, was “tired” too hard for me to say? I’ve really gotta stop speaking before I think or else he’s gonna think I’m a real baby!
“Please try not to shout when we’re indoors, Koda,” he admonishes like I actually am a toddler. So, great, he’s definitely thinking it, too. “You wanna play some more, then? You didn’t even really get started before. Maybe you could have fun with the train set. Lots of kids that swear they’re big boys find it’s just easier to build things because ‘that’s not quite as babyish’.” That explanation left a sour taste in my mouth. It doesn’t sound very grown up at all; just a way to try and pretend you still are. Desperation like that just makes you look younger. But even still, some small part of me found the idea of building a train track…appealing. Did I have a thing for trains I didn’t know about? That’s definitely a much better explanation than simply “that looks fun”.
I nodded, unable to find the right words that didn’t confirm his suspicions about me, but somehow staying quiet also made him think I’m a baby! There’s a click and the crib bars are lowered… That would have made climbing so much easier, and he was already grabbing me under my armpits again and carrying me over to where the track pieces were. Why am I already getting used to moving around like this?
Once set down, I dared not look back at him, only able to think about that dang fatherly smile he’s probably giving me. I just focus on the task at paw and drown out the world around me just like when I was climbing. I guess that’s one benefit to a baby body. If I distract myself properly, everything else really does stop existing. That’s the only way he could have snuck up on me. I’m a trained fighter… No one gets the drop on me like that.
It was pretty easy to settle in. I had all the pieces I wanted here, just strewn around randomly. Maybe it had been played with by real babies last. …Ow. Why the heck would I injure my own pride like that? Maybe it had just been torn up at some point so everything was scattered!
The track and trains were made of wood, and even had the Brio name like I remembered from my first childhood. I did notice a lot of odd brand similarities between our worlds. There were only minor differences. Like sometimes a Pokemon themed brand name would replace one I used to know and only sounded similar to the original, and other times the brands didn’t even exist. Either because they went out of business, or because they never got thought up in the first place. Sometimes, but maybe it’s because the names just didn’t sound similar, this world would have a brand that didn’t exist in mine. Like Pelipper Mail.
Every time I thought about what piece should go next, it only took a few seconds of looking around to spot something that works. It’s not like it was always the exact piece I wanted, but something about playing with this train set woke up the builder in me I guess because I could make just about anything work. Sometimes I’d find something that worked better and it would change the whole direction of the build!
Unfortunately, fun must always be such a fleeting feeling in my life. I don’t know how long I was building for, but I had what felt like miles of track laid out already. At least to the trains themselves… It was much less impressive from my vantage point. But I felt a sudden pain right around where I knew my bladder should be.
I guess pain might be too strong a word, but I didn’t know how to describe it. Moreover, it took me a second to realize what it must mean. And that’s not because I knew what it meant, either! That knowledge, just like climbing, was also a void. I just kinda put a couple of things together. …Too bad it took me a minute, because I’m just now finishing warming up my diaper as I think these words.
When the pain had struck, I froze in place feeling very uncertain with my paw outstretched to grab a little wooden mountain piece shaped like a wedge not much wider than the track going up it; but I straightened up my body some from my crouching position. Just not all the way. Maybe it had been instinct? It makes sense those wouldn’t have disappeared. But while I thought about what I should do, an intrusive thought suggested I call out to Auran for help. Embarrassed by even the idea of that, I focused inward, and then my diaper started to feel warm. I couldn’t really feel that pressure in my bladder area any more, focusing on it. Just a slow tingle like something might be moving through me.
Only after I put my paw to my diaper and connected the two tingling sensations between my paw and my bladder did I figure out I was peeing. But then I couldn’t even fathom what I was supposed to do about it. Just as he promised; my potty training is entirely gone. I’m clearly not incontinent, or else I wouldn’t have felt it. But there’s no control simply because I don’t know what I’m supposed to be controlling. It’s just gone from my mind, and probably won’t come back without being potty trained all over again. These diapers…are not for show.
Conflicted, I steel myself. I will not suffer the humiliation of telling him I want a new diaper. Suffering through the feeling of a wet one is vastly preferable than giving him the satisfaction of babying me further. I’ll just pretend like it never happened. Surely no baby before me ever thought of that plan, and maybe that’s what started their downfall to becoming real babies! They surrendered their control of the situation too soon. But when my diaper gets noticed can be my choice instead of his. That’s how I’ll win and keep my maturity intact.
I look back at him and see he’s moved to the rocking chair and is staring right at me, still with that fatherly grin I thought I only made up in my head! I cringe, quickly averting my gaze back to the toy that I now bend down and complete grabbing to pretend like nothing at all happened. Crud. I just came up with this plan and already I’m afraid I might’ve slipped up. How much did he know? Did he watch the whole thing? Am I already screwed?
No. I’ll just do better next time now that I know what the warning signal is. ”Hey, isn’t that the first step of potty training?” my unhelpful brain reminds me without asking!
Shutting that thought out, I just focus on my building. I can do that… So I do. I seem to have lost my ability to track time in my head so I don’t really know how long it took, but eventually my stomach did growl again and he’d take me back to the cafeteria. This time I tried to keep a mental map of the building’s layout, only to find it even more confusing since it somehow seemed like the cafeteria was across from my nursery this time. Confound it, I hate magic.
There was a clock in here, but I guess I can’t read those anymore because I have no flippin’ idea what hand means what. I know the terms; like hour, minute, seconds, but I can’t piece together how all that adds up to a time or which hand or number meant what. Come to think of it, the names of the numbers are gone, too, as I'm unable to assign the squiggly shapes to the number table in my head, so that was a complete waste of mental energy to focus on. I wonder if not knowing what time it was helped them control us… Possibly.
I’m given the feast of champions, being a bowl of macaroni and cheese easily as big as my face, and a sippy cup of milk. It was the same design, so maybe I have assigned cups. But while I’m eating it, I take notice of how it always looks, and smells, like this room was recently full of food and then cleaned both times I’ve come in here. Maybe my meals are staggered because I’m a new arrival? That might help keep me from interacting with the others. When do they intend on having me meet them? This high chair is always sitting and waiting for me, so I doubt Auran is the only adult that knows about me. Like it or not, I’m probably already on their schedule with my own activity chart and everything. Ugh.
The rest of the day was more of the same, only this time Auran had another suggestion I liked since I couldn’t think of what to add onto the train tracks now that there were no open routes I hadn’t completed and looped. He gave me the idea of playing with some Timburr logs. This world didn’t really have an America, or a Lincoln, so the name change made sense. But it’s a fun toy where I can build cabins. You’re supposed to match the pictures on the box, somehow without instructions, but I just decided to make my own little homestead with a cabin, a barn, and a cool fence. Wish I had some animals to put in there to complete the look…
I wet my diaper again, but I was able to play it cool. It didn’t stop happening no matter what I did, so as long as I didn’t think about it I could just keep playing while it slowly trickled out of me. I didn’t dare look at it to see how wet I was getting. Maybe if I leaked and he had to clean it up, that’d be another small victory!
The day pretty much went by like that until I noticed, after a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with no crusts for dinner, and I had sat down to listen to him read from a book, that I was feeling a lot slower for some reason.
All day, once my headache went away, I felt like I had the energy of a thousand suns behind me, that I could do anything all day forever and ever. I didn’t even realize the reason why I agreed to being read to was that I couldn’t motivate myself to do anything else. That was weird, because there were definitely more building activities I could do, but like just nothing at all sounded appealing. Kinda like the first time I was told to play with the toys. But I sat there on a pillow, hugging a blanket to myself because it had gotten colder and my small body couldn’t fight it off as easily. I listened to the story but can’t really remember anything that he was saying. My eyes kept drifting, and I promised myself they were just longer than usual blinks. But once, after one of them, I found myself back on the changing table. I finally admitted to myself that I might be sleepy.
Too sleepy to even complain about the childish language sneaking around in my head like I wouldn’t notice it. I was thankful I didn’t have to think about the diaper change because at some point, don’t even remember how much was completed already, I closed my eyes and didn’t open them again. Destined for my first night of sleep trapped in this place.
