Welcome to a journey inside the mind of a young man who’s lost his way. Or maybe never had one, and is only gaining one now. Either way it goes, it was time for him to finally learn his way. He didn’t have to travel far, however. In fact, staying in place was the easiest way to actually learn. It was because he needed to travel into his own mind, to meet the one person in the world that truly does know him better than he knows himself.
Inside his inner world…there existed nothing much but a room. Quiet, peaceful, serene, ambient music playing in the background, and of course, a chair, and long chair for the therapist and client. First things first. The young male, nervous, walked in and took his seat, putting his hands in his lap, and just looking toward the other, who had been there since the adult’s arrival.
There was a young fox. Couldn’t have been that old, and quite obviously, too young to be a therapist. However, the boy sat there, suit on, glasses that did nothing resting on the bridge of his muzzle, and legs crossed, a gentle smile, eyes locked on the other male. They didn’t need to exchange pleasantries, either, so the fox just cut right to the chase. “So, tell me who you are, starting with your whole name please.”
The other looked back at the fox, staring him dead in the eyes, although, and his eyes did waver an uncertain air about him. “Uh, Nicholas. But why are you asking when you already know. I didn’t just make you; you and I are one and the same.”
The young vulpine flicked that two-toned tail of his once at hearing that last part and eyebrow raised up. He knew it was out of character for him to spend so much time being serious, but he knew that this situation called for as much honesty as he could muster. “No, we aren’t. That’s why you’re sitting here, talking to me. Because I’m more of you than you are. I know more about you than you do, and that’s why you’re here. So you can know more about you, too. Now c’mon man, let’s stick to my schedule. Now that we got the name out of the way, I want you to hear this…That name of yours, Nick, is a huge part of you that you tend not to think about. A part of you that you forget sometimes…Your name validates you. It doesn’t define who you are, but it’s the beginning. Your name in and of itself proves that you have existence here. It means you are. It means that you are here, and that you can be.”
Nick seemed quite shocked at hearing that. He hated knowing when people saw right though him, even if it was himself. Part of the reason he never truly had a conversation with himself. “Yeah…I know but…” He started.
That’s when the fox gave him a reassuring smile, gently cutting off the other, seeing as he seemed to be quite unsure. “Don’t worry about doing all the time and just try to learn how to be, first. You got an interesting start with that Calm.com thing. Keep rolling that way. You started; I don’t wanna see you fall off. Anyways, onto question number two. Who am I?” His next question, although it seemed easy, would continue on the program.
“…That’s a tough one. You are Maverick Skye. Initially…you were a creation in my old story series. But you’ve become much more than that. A personification…not just of who I am, but who I was…and want to be. This is why there are two of you. A kid and a young adult.” He explained.
Maverick actually began to ponder on his own origins a bit. Of course he knew, but he wanted to hear more about it. “Yes…now why is it that you split me up as a 10 year old, and a 19 year old? Couldn’t you have made two different characters entirely?”
“Yeah. But it wouldn’t be right. You’re still me, no matter which way you go. I mean…I take a lot of time realizing that I haven’t truly grown up. Yet I feel like I haven’t had a chance to be a kid either. In the end, it makes me feel kinda…mixed up about where I am.” Nick replied.
Mavy nodded, putting a finger to his chin. “Go on.”
“I mean…I still feel like I’m a kid. I’m stuck in the 90’s, ya know? I talked to Kaleigh quite a bit about it. Heh…I still whine about how Pringles are over a buck a canister, fruit pies are over 50 cents, and Kool-Aid ain’t a quarter a piece anymore. Why’d I pick 10 years old for you? Because it was among the last times I felt happy and free. I just miss those times. Ever since then my life has been nothing but stress, babysitting, and loss of control of my own life, but instead, control by my family, making me do everything I didn’t want to, despite repressing how much I knew it was not good for me. It’s…frustrating.”
He took some time to think on what Nick had just told him, growing more interested as he spoke. “I see. So I’m basically the personification of the time you wanna go back to. Yet you made me more mature than other kids. Why? And why default me as a kid?”
The black male grinned, and even let off a chuckle at the question, as well as taking in the perspective he heard from the other. “Because, as you know, I was always more mature than other kids. It’s just simply like that. I decided to keep to being a kid because inside, that’s still what I feel. I long for that time so much it’s hard to let go. You’re still part of that life for me. You see how obsessed with nostalgia trips that I am. Still listen to songs from the 90’s and earlier 2000’s. Video Game music and all that. And…as for the unbalanced appearance between you two…it’s mostly because I feel like, in my heart, that I want to be more of a kid than an adult. But I know there are still some parts of me that call FOR being an adult. But I more identify with young you, rather than adult. But I know that adult me still has a place in this world.”
At this point, it was time for Maverick to evaluate, since time was running low. So he stood up, those silver and blue hues looking right back to the young man’s brown orbs, giving his final thoughts on him, just for the introduction phase. Gathering from what he was told, along with what he already knew of Nick, it was time to give it all to him. “Got it. So I’m assessing a bit more about you then. Good thing too since you’re figuring a bit more yourself. You NEED to let go of the past. You get so immersed in it. I mean, Nick…you spend more time on TV Tropes than you do almost ANYTHING else. You whine about Kaleigh being on Imgur so much but you’re just as bad. Sure, you pay attention but the almost obsession has got to STOP. You don’t realize it, but the more you spend in the past, the more you lose the present. The more you lose who you are. The more you lose you, the more you lose me and everybody else you love. At the same time, dude, listen to some of the lyrics that you love listening to so much. Pay closer attention to them.”
It was at that point, he just started to grin, humming out a beat to something familiar to the man, and Nick immediately recognized it as Ryu’s theme song from Street Fighter, one of the first video game music he ever listened to when he was a child. Recently, he had found the song that the music was based off of, and it was a tribute song to Ryu, just the opening lines.
“I want to know how tough it's.
I want to know the place where my soul is burned out.
In order to draw two and the simple answer which is not I continue following an endless way.”
The boy finished singing those lines; he turned back to the adult. “Nick, your soul IS burning out. Take some time. Realize how much you DO, and how little you actually take time to BE. Think about me. Think about you. Think about who you are. Kaleigh’s right. That amazing flame that you once had…it’s burned down to a spark and it’s affected you in one of the nastiest ways.
It’s time for you to go, so this will wrap up our first attempt. I hope it helps you man. I still wanna know more about you though. So I’ll have more questions for our next session. Take more time to talk to me…you’ve avoided me…and avoided yourself for so long. When you get some free time…stop fapping. Stop jamming to your music. Stop drowning me out. I’ve wanted to talk to you for years…I missed you Nick.” He gave the other a melancholy smile right after, walking up to the human to put a paw to his shoulder. “Come back to me soon. Remember…I love you. I think it’s time for you to start loving you, too.” And with those parting words, Nick’s eyes welled up a little, hugging onto the young boy.
“Thank you Maverick…I will. Count on it.” And with that, he rose to his feet, leaving his own inner world and back to his own real one…now even just a little stronger than he found himself before.