Inkbunny

No, it's just that the artist has kicked himself over missing that detail before.

kitsuneyoukai

11 years ago

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@ nomercy745

i could of added crotch tits, but i felt the page wouldn't of been taken as serious then. =T

TwilightMarluxia

11 years, 1 month ago

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They're totally gonna have sex, calling it now. She's jealous that she couldn't satisfy him. So she's gonna try and make up for that as "punishment" I'm sure.

RainbowDash09

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ TwilightMarluxia

Dat :3

RainbowDash09

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ RainbowDash09

That would be messed up tho .. xD

Coop

11 years, 1 month ago

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Uh oh spikes gonna get it.

Chrysolithos

11 years, 1 month ago

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Come for the porn, but stay for the real-life messiness. It's uncomfortable, but it makes everybody seem that much more alive and real.

barney22

11 years, 1 month ago

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So is there more porn, or...?

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ barney22

yes! one more scene starting on page 59. then the alternate endings will be pretty much all porn.

CodieCub

11 years, 1 month ago

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Jeeze TS why not just announce it to the world that you think that the only reason is because you can't satisfy him >.>;;
She seemed kind of, high school drama loving girl-ish to me right there.....

passingthrough

11 years, 1 month ago

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Edited 11 years, 1 month ago by Owner

if find it hypocritical for any of the mane six to be pissed at spike. for what he did. but not be pissed at him for basically have sex with pinkie while she gave him a lap dance. in fact he came because during said lap dance. his dick went inside

normal sex with other ponies = no no
somewhat penetration during a lap dance and also cumming because of said lap dance = OK

the mane six encourage the lap dance

care to explain the logic in this

i wouldn't mind so much if this was just a mindless sex comic. but clearly you want us to empathize with the characters. but how are we supposed to when both are in the wrong

CeekingKammie

11 years, 1 month ago

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A lap dance and sex is different. Pinkie is not mad at spike and she's the one who consented to this, so i don't understand your logic.

passingthrough

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ CeekingKammie

go look at the so called "lap dance" that's not a lap dance that's sex. g-rated sex. but still sex

CeekingKammie

11 years, 1 month ago

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I know what a lap dance is. It is not Twilight's fault that Spike cheated on her just cause she let a friend, (who she trusts) to give her in this comic.. partner (who she also trusts) a lap dance. Spike decided not to have self control. That's like saying that any woman who has taken her husband to a club that gives lap dances and let's him receive one from a dancer, that it is her fault if he decides to cheat on her with that dancer. That is illogical. She didn't say: GO AHEAD AND HAVE SEX WITH THEM! no..it was more like.. here's a bit of fun for you but I trust you to not do anything that could affect our relationship. She didn't make him do anything, he decided not to have self control over his actions.

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ CeekingKammie

no one said... well... i didn't say twilight was at fault for spike cheating on her. that's totally spike's bad. and it's his bad for losing control. but every single mare is at fault for something too.

passingthrough

11 years, 1 month ago

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"	twilightstormshi wrote:
	no one said... well... i didn't say twilight was at fault for spike cheating on her. that's totally spike's bad. and it's his bad for losing control. but every single mare is at fault for something too.

of course we all know who's really to blame for spikes actions. you and anyone who was involved in making this. you had ful control over what went on in the comic. but if we want to go to the source of the problem. blame hasbro.

btw, do you make any money off of this comic? trafficking or adds and what not? if so, i'm pretty sure that calls ground for a lawsuit. in fact your using a IP with out permission. so, yeah it still calls ground for a lawsuit. huh. well good luck with that

"	twilightstormshi wrote:
	i didn't think things through :I sorry, i thought it was obvious i meant that =P

ok now your just being a prick.

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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heh. is it a popular thing to do to troll me cuz i take some things seriously? =P like, is there an underground troll-twilight club? XD

CeekingKammie

11 years, 1 month ago

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the person above me was implying this

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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oh, they're being very hypocritical. it's an attempted comment on the misandry of the show. pinkie "gave" the present/lapdance to him, so it's fine with everyone; but spike "took" the rest of the sex, so it's not fine. plus part of why they're all arguing is that they all want him! for example, the only way he hurt RD was by not mating her, and the only way he hurt Pinkie was by leaving the next morning.

this comic... i'm not sure. it's got a lot of good ideas, i think, but i'm failing at getting most of them across. i'm putting most of the characters in self denial on purpose, for example, but it's just coming across as them being out of character! i'm really inexperienced as a comic writer... but people are still sticking to it because they're interested to see how it turns out, so i guess that's a start! i do want people to sympathize... it sucks that we have to release pages one at a time. if this were a finished story being released all at once, the reader would get the big payoff of sympathizing much sooner...

passingthrough

11 years, 1 month ago

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Edited 11 years, 1 month ago by Owner

why can't people just say something like "oh, i didn't think things through" when the mess up while telling a story

also

PP: i'm not mad
RD: grr, i'm still mad that you didn't cheat on twilight with me
AJ: you fucked my sister
BM: eyup you fucked my sister
R: such nasty thoughts(even though i'm sure her thoughts are worse)
T: i can't believe you had sex with other ponies(even though she introduced sex to a dagon. a greedy race by nature)
F: you jacked off to me
derpy: muffin

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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i didn't think things through :I sorry, i thought it was obvious i meant that =P

FlorpFlorble

11 years, 1 month ago

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Don't worry; You're getting this across perfectly to me. Your problem is that you're trying to mix sex with story when an awful lot of the viewership you seem to have doesn't understand that those things are not mutually exclusive.

Honest to god, this frustrates me more than anything else.

We're in a society that constantly reinforces sex as a be-all end-all, or as something questionably ethical to enjoy, and as an end result anything that sex's influence touches, particularly if it's graphic, is just seen as 'porn logic' and not as a story in its own right.

It can't be, porn logic, the pizza man doesn't go home and have dramas with his girlfriend because he accepts blowjobs instead of tips, he's not someone with a backstory as to how he got a dead end job. No, he's just there to stick his dick into an attractive receptacle repeatedly, like a plumber unclogging a sink.

Only, in porn, I've yet to see a plumber unclog a sink.

It... You're doing well as a writer, but unfortunately, it's the pervading stigma that stops people allowing themselves to enjoy this as an audience because they see everything as a buildup for the sex, as opposed to the sex as a buildup for the story.

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ FlorpFlorble

i agree with you 100% about the stigma. people are also way more willing to criticize writing than art :P

i DO have lots of improving to do still, and i'm happy that people can treat me as one of the audience in terms of discussing the story with me. it helps me get useful information.

...but yeah, i do feel like i have to meet higher standards with this story than i would with stories that are either all porn or all drama due to people's expectations. i'm not sure whether that's a good or bad thing.

CeekingKammie

11 years, 1 month ago

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I agree with Rarity.

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ CeekingKammie

i remembered what you and others were saying about the ponies not acting realistically when i wrote her dialogue. thanks for the insight ^^

KonaNosune

11 years, 1 month ago

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Ohh here comes the final yiff scene.

KonaNosune

11 years, 1 month ago

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Edited 11 years, 1 month ago by Owner

Hey stormshi is this going to return after the possible banjo and kazooie or is it just mlp that should be a poll for the next comic. Yes/No? I would like MOAR mlp but that's for you to choose

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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after B-K, we're doing a Shippo-Kirara comic : )

KonaNosune

11 years ago

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Well after this is over ill poke my head in on kits page now and then to see what's up

elderflowerpudding

11 years ago

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Edited 11 years ago by Owner

just to remind you, we're going to be doing two alternate endings to dyo as soon as we get funded on kitchan

ruink

11 years, 1 month ago

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I sense a chick....

SilverSpectre

11 years, 1 month ago

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*Dumbledore voice* SILENNNNNNNCE!!!!

PoC

11 years, 1 month ago

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The only real issue I have is that Rarity goes from why are you telling me this to OMG even thinking about having sex with other mares is wrong.

Come on harem ending!

Despair

11 years, 1 month ago

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Just deal with it... Well?

lunchmoney

11 years, 1 month ago

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So much talking now. Let's either get back to the sex or jump to where serial rapist Spike gets fatally anally impaled on a flagpole as karmic punishment and everypony else realizes they have much more fun experimenting without him.

puppydemon20

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ lunchmoney

This comic is made to be more realistic and allows you to sympathize with the characters in it. You don't seem to care much about the non-sex scenes.

lunchmoney

11 years ago

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@ puppydemon20

Of course not. For one thing it's a dragon and a a bunch of talking cartoon horses. Where I come from that's already unrealistic. For another thing Spike is going around being a serial rapist, humping anything that moves. You know what realistically happens to people like that? Not the calm conversation that seems to be taking place now, I'll tell you that much. And who am I supposed to sympathize with? The guy force feeding his wiener to whoever he wants or the girls with the "I don't like that it happened, but I'm not going to do anything about it other than be grumpy now" attitudes?

Like I said, throw more graphic sex at us (cause people generally don't seek out porn for the plot. Romance, maybe, but porn, no) or show the part where Spike is graphically murdered and his 232 pieces are fed to birds (cause after everything that's gone on, if this comic has a "we all forgive you" ending it will be the stupidest piece of fiction ever) but all this jibba jabba is unwanted.

FoxFoxplz

11 years, 1 month ago

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lol fluttershy sorta just sits this one out. hahahahah!

puppydemon20

11 years, 1 month ago

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Very well done, I'm sad I didn't get to see the livestream.

Also what was said in the description, confuses me slightly.
"1 day late because power outages and lost energy"
Does this mean you lost energy to your computer or you were tired??? I assume exhaustion because you guys pointed out power outages, but I would like some clarification.

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ puppydemon20

i assumed it was an intended double meaning =P

datcatty

11 years, 1 month ago

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I dunno. I think that everyone is acting really weird to this whole ordeal. It's like the plot dragged a big elephant into the room and everyone is like, "oh, look. A mouse."

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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Edited 11 years, 1 month ago by Owner

@ datcatty

i... definitely see where you're coming from.

not to excuse myself but just to explain what i was thinking: everyone was in heat yesterday and did things they weren't proud of... and with someone much younger than they were too... not to mention someone else's mate. it was an inherently shameful act, and today, when their sex drives are lower, they're starting to realize what they did. them trying to cover up for that is part of why it seems downplayed.

some of them are doing it on purpose. notice that rarity, fluttershy, and twilight, who didn't do anything shameful with spike (on purpose), are having the normal, strong reactions because they feel violated. pinkie and rd are trying to ignore it, subconsciously hoping it'll just go away. because they realize they're partially at fault. but their anger is starting to come out now that they're in a situation where they can't ignore it.

and AJ's just in a weird position where she doesn't know how to act. she's mostly angry because spike got to her sister, but she also doesn't have the same kind of personal stake in it that the rest do. i really tried to write the perfect storm.

DrMadfox

11 years, 1 month ago

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If I can interject (even though I hardly ever comment), I think there might be a case of massive mood whiplash. You went from a light hearted porn comic to a serious, though somewhat poorly mapped out, story about cheating, sexual abuse, etc. It seems a bit jarring to go from a party with everyone cheering as Pinkie essentially rides Spike to everyone hating him despite the fact they know already Dragons by nature have poor self control instincts. There was also nothing establishing they were in heat that day to justify it, so the reader doesn't get the sense of that. Meanwhile you have Rarity immediately turning on Spike for having sexual thoughts about her when the show has made it clear she knows he has feelings for her, not to mention Fluttershy going into rage mode because Spike jacked off to her and seemingly psychically knowing not only that it was Spike but that he was growing due to greed (or lust in this case, though again she had no way on knowing it in that scene). Twilight meanwhile is spreading the news about this while she should fully know dragon physiology. But you have her spreading it in a manner seemingly more because it hurt her pride than any attempt at spreading the knowledge, which would help other ponies understand why this happened and why they're as much to blame as Spike. Something that would mroe fit her character. In general you wound up writing the Mane 6, save for Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie, as catty high school cheerleaders who got their friend drunk, convinced him to cheat on his girlfriend, then proceeded help said girlfriend shame him while ostracizing him from the group. It makes it really hard to feel bad for any of them save for Big Macintosh, who had the reaction any older brother would have in that situation, Spike, whose friends are acting like complete assholes to him for things literally outside of his control, and Apple Bloom who did nothing wrong and handled it more maturely than the adults. Just my perspective, sorry if I offended.

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ DrMadfox

a couple facts in your criticism are off, but i don't feel the need to correct them since your point makes sense. it's a product of my inexperience writing comics and the way this plot was cobbled together out of a few pictures with no real direction until the start of the birthday celebration. we learned our lesson and will do hardcore planning for comics from now on. i really don't know what to say. =P i'm glad some people can enjoy it for what it is.

okamifox

11 years, 1 month ago

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Edited 11 years, 1 month ago by Owner

Honestly as much as I'd hate to say it, this needs Help from Celestia...Although I know from the magical Mystery Cure that the whole time Shes been watching twilight.. But I think as royalty she should of stepped in by now and put a stop to this. To be honest this probably shouldn't end in porn but instead a good talking to for everyone involved including those like Pinkie Pie and RD who didn't help the situation by their actions.. No one is truly innocent in this case for the exception of Flutters, Rarity and little Apple Bloom who... Wanted spike all along and okay NEVERMIND SHES AS GUILTY AS THE REST! >.< And no I'm not protecting the little dragon's tight butt either... He was just as much a part of this as the rest although the only difference is that yes hes a "baby" dragon and he doesn't know any better... Well for one that's BS cause he already went through "Secret of my excess" and somehow still had issues with the problem when in a later episode he conned the mane 6 to let him take care of their pets... FOR GEMS! And two if it is a baby dragon then Who are they to be giving him a birthday present of sex and then later be the ones bashing him for wanting more! It's like bashing someone for being an alcoholic but not before getting him completely drunk first.. He's a baby dragon.. He's not 21 and ready for "My first Strip club" So for the exception of the ones i mentioned before SHAME ON YOOOOOOU! even you AJ, you should of explained the birds and the bees better then that to your little sister and she would of never got with the sex crazed dragon! I'm Okamifox, I review it so you don't have to! [ lol had to put that last part there sorry xD]

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ okamifox

this is pretty much what i've been thinking, yeah :3

zd001

11 years, 1 month ago

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i hope spike is gonna (grow up) soon

BossHoss1

11 years, 1 month ago

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Edited 11 years, 1 month ago by Owner

This is almost as entertaining as Xenophilia on FimFiction. :)

LoreBat

11 years, 1 month ago

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I think a tasty alternate ending would be having each of the mares use that transformation spell from earlier and spike mating them each producing eggs.

Magaso

11 years, 1 month ago

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It's not his fault, he's suffering from the disease of sex addiction, given to him by an alien wizard.

(Also, horses are known for having a harem type of breeding style.)

thps48

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ Magaso

Ooh, didn't know horses had a harem-style breeding ritual among other mammals. :o

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ Magaso

but the -my little- ponies don't, sadly :/ they marry in canon.

byter

11 years, 1 month ago

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If I may weigh in.
I think some of the problems could come from the lack of focus or clarity...

We have 7 main characters, all going through different arcs, and stories; (simultaneously!). This page has all 7 of our cast doing stuff, weighing in on things and revealing more on what's going on internally (about their characters).

There's no clear 'side'/person for the audience to empathise with or root for. Because everyone's kinda in the wrong atm... Or in other words, we're unsure as to what the story is 'going for' atm (other than a perfect storm).

And whilst I love the depth it's going for (having read the authors comments). I think that in the end, there's too much going on each panel, to many voices, to much to process, and an unclear direction too all this (at this point in time).

I will say that the format of the comic, also means that we're sorta left on a cliffhanger every page, and this page is where the shit hits the fan. We're sorta left in the middle of a very crazy and dramatic scene...
When the whole thing (comic) is said & done. Then this won't be such a abrupt stop to the story, and we'll just turn to the next page to see what conclusion the story will make of this whole mess (mess in terms of what's going on, in universe (not the writing)).

Still, I'm glad that this comic makes a bold and competent step, towards mixing of porn and narrative, and using porn to contextualise the narrative. When they are normally so distinct.

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ byter

i'm really tryin! =p and yeah, points taken. no excuse; just a comment. doing good art is hard! =P (so i don't manage it very often)

Qwazzy

11 years, 1 month ago

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Those ponies seem to get bitchier with every page.

wolfwcarab

11 years, 1 month ago

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... is it a bit Ironic that 2 of the ones that still seem most angry at him are the bearers Kindness and Generosity?

elderflowerpudding

11 years, 1 month ago

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@ wolfwcarab

YES SOMEONE NOTICED

XanderShadow

11 years, 1 month ago

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I personally just hope he gets slapped silly for being such a self centered little dick.

midnight66

11 years, 1 month ago

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there's the reason why i notice there's a black speech bubble, swearing.

kztxl7

11 years, 1 month ago

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I'm truly hope all of them wise up in the next few pages and understand that Spike isn't the only one at fault here. Last time I checked they all knew that he, as a dragon, has this potential problem and that they indulged him in this. I'm not saying he's absolved of fault, but still they need to accept responsibilities for the events they played a part in leading up to this.

frostcat

11 years, 1 month ago

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Twi and Shy are complete bitches. If AJ, Mac, and Bloom were able to forgive Spike of this whole ordeal, why can't they. They even brought Rarity into the mix and she wasn't even involved.

Makes me fear if THIS Twilight becomes a princess later.

DerpinDerg

11 years, 1 month ago

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Tbh I'm having trouble seeing how spike is at fault for most of this. The fact that he's obviously the youngest of all of them and therefore will follow by example is enough for me to be on his side. The fact that he went on a rampage is his fault, yes, but EVERYONE ELSE instigated it. So basically he's a scapegoat for all of them. Well, except pinkie.

DarkTailskp

11 years ago

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Edited 11 years ago by Owner

Did somepony...cursed!? 0_o....Also why tell Rarity?? Aw well this'll blow up in everyone's faces soon I'll bet.

EDIT:Also why is those thoughts a "bad thing" to Rarity? Wha did Twilight say "oh btw if he didn't pass out he may have raped you" or something? Their just thoughts that I'm sure everyone gets, so why the big anger while some pages ago she was OK with him talking about/being sexual? Rarity you confuse me. XD

KonaNosune

11 years ago

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YAY 6 days again (sarcastic and not be mean)

elderflowerpudding

11 years ago

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kit's hand was hurting something awful from coloring it last night :P

kitsuneyoukai

11 years ago

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