We follow Charlie to the school. He looks up every so often, smiling at us as he waves. I hear the school bell ring in the distance. It sounds like lunch has just started, just in time for Charlie to make it. I give one last skree as I see him head into the school, and he gives a final thumbs-up. I fluff my feathers while watching him go in, thinking again about how I am no longer part of that world. I still am not fully sure what I am, but I am getting closer to understanding.
Shiners looks over me as we circle one last time. He then suggests, <I know you long to be back with the others, but you're an eagle now. Those are things you may someday return to, but it may not be for a long time. Think less on what you've lost, and more on what you've gained.>
I give my head a small shake as if to get rid of the cobwebs. <Thanks. Just keep reminding me of that. I know you've told me a few times, but it's still something I need to internalize. So what should we do today? I think I should learn to accept my instincts more fully. Hunting might be good. I was disappointed, I was barely there for my first one.>
Shiners looks back one last time before he nods. <That works. Let's head back to the island from a few days ago and see about getting you to hunt and sharpen some of your other instincts. You will need to learn to trust them, but also when and how to override them. They can be your guide when you're unsure,> he says. He gives a little wing waggle, I remember from first seeing him. <You got this. I will be there to support and laugh at you.>
We fly back toward the island and soon are circling above it as he points down. <Do you see any food down there? You're going to want to hunt for small things until you get the hang of them. Don't want you to try to hunt a rabbit and end up with a foot to the beak,> he says with a chuckle.
I give a nod and look down at the island. At first, I don't see much, and then everything zooms in closer as I give a small head shake. <Gahh... I don't think I will ever get used to the zoom on these eyes.> I spot a couple of small things. <Okay, I see a couple of mice.>
Shiners tilts his head as he glides down to land in a tree. <I will watch you from down here. And zoom? What do you mean by that?> he asks curiously.
I give a small shrug as I try to explain. <It's like my eyes can sometimes zoom in and see things clearer and closer,> I say, thinking of an explanation. <In human terms, it's like looking through binoculars.>
I give a small nod and look back down. <Right, I got this. I'm the mighty and all-powerful eagle. I don't fear things... they fear me...> I say with a gulp.
I hear a mental chuckle from Shiners. <If you don't hunt soon, they will die from old age.>
I watch the mice until I spot one out in the open, away from the others. I give in to the instinct and dive straight down, talons outstretched. Okay, you got this. Just grab it, and it's yours. Just dive down. I hear and feel the wind against me as the mouse starts to run away. I twist to grab it, but I am too slow and miss completely, landing in the dirt awkwardly and losing my balance in a beak plant.
I give out a grunt and a puff of dirt as I manage to right myself. <Ouch... I thought I was supposed to follow instincts,> I say, as that hurt, especially my pride.
Shiners laughs. <Dude, I think your graceful landing was spotted,> he says, pointing a wing in the direction of where I can see one far on the shore watching me.
I give a small moan as I stand up, shaking myself and giving a full-body fluff. <Well, from what I've heard of birds, I've had my bath for the year,> I half-joke as I take back to the air and circle again, trying to be careful not to let my shadow go over the field. As I spot another mouse, <So what should I do? I caught the last rabbit through instinct,> I say.
He chuckles, giving a small groan. <Yes, but you weren't just going by instinct. You were still there, so you controlled your landing and how you went after it. Instinct knows what to do, but you still have to do it and react.>
I look back again toward the shore and see the hiker watching me; he has a pair of binoculars in his hands. I shake my head, embarrassed, my nares reddening as I hope he isn't close enough to see that. <Let's hope I don't get performance anxiety. At least he doesn't have a camera. I can imagine the news story now: ``Incompetent eagle crash lands into the ground. Is he too stupid for his own good?''>
Shiners laughs as he claws at the branch, shaking his feathers out. <Even at the best of times, people love eagles. Don't let it bother you too much. You're going to get famous around here eventually. If you turn into your wolf, you might help it by vanishing. Or you could always go into jaguar if you're able to. I bet that will take all the heat off your eagle. Weird eagle: cool. Wolf: ``Where did the eagle go?'' Jaguar: ``The world has gone mad, and we must all flee!''>
I groan at that. <We will need to figure it out. I am definitely not going to avoid being a jaguar. Too cool, and also it is part of me. Maybe I cannot turn into jaguar or dolphin, and it is easier to figure out. But for now, let us hunt.>
I hear the laughter coming through Shiners as he says, <Yeah, yeah, big mighty kitty. You are not going to be able to do much as a jaguar if you cannot hunt now. Get down there and get your lunch.>
I give my wings a few more strong flaps, trying to shake off the pain and embarrassment and get my head back in the game. <Okay, let's try this again.> I gaze down, looking for any sign of a good mouse, and then I see it.
A tiny movement in the grass. A head pops up. I bank and circle harder, and once I am sure it is time, I dive, the wind blotting out everything else except me and the mouse. This time, I get closer before it sees me, and then it bolts. But I do not rely entirely on instinct. I let my body move too and swerve at the last second, grabbing it as I pass. I tumble, landing on my back, but I keep my grip. I rest there a second, still feeling the slight movement as I hold my foot up in victory with the mouse in it.
I hear Shiners' laughter in my ears as I feel a little dizzy; the movement in my foot has stopped. Shiners finally gets his amusement under control. <Well, not the most graceful of catches. I think even bears rolling downhill would consider that barely a successful hunt, but at least you caught it.>
I struggle to get to my feet, with one of them still clenched around the mouse, not wanting to take any chances, it is only stunned or playing dead. I look in the direction of the hiker. <Did the hiker see that?> I ask, more concerned that he does not think I am a complete failure than the implications of being spotted.
I hear cheering and clapping from the shore as the hiker seems to be rather excited, if looking a little concerned. Shiners gives a mental chuckle. <Well, you are definitely creating a legend. Whether it is one to be proud of, or one to be embarrassed about, will remain to be seen,> he says.
I nod my head and quickly check on the mouse. He is definitely either dead or an Oscar-winning actor. I stare for a few moments at the strange glow from where I cut, trying to give my head a shake. <Oh, weird... some of it glows. Is that more UV?> I ask, as much to myself as to Shiners.
Shiners shakes his head in confusion. <How do you guys tell when there is blood if it doesn't glow?> he asks, completely baffled by such an idea.
I shrug a bit. <Well, red is pretty hard to miss for us even without the glowing. But this is definitely more noticeable,> I say as I eye the mouse, and then suddenly realize, <Umm... how do I eat this?> Eating a leg whole, while weird, was one thing, but a whole mouse?
Shiners gives out a small laugh that sounds strangely like a cough. <Dude, it's just food. You eat it just like the rabbit leg.>
I eye the mouse. <A whole mouse? Won't I end up with all the extra bones?> I feel a tiny bit uncomfortable about the idea. Oh, I want to eat it, but eating it whole goes against most things I've been taught.
Shiners gives a strange kaw at that. <I get that, but it's already dead. It's not going to jump out and attack you, just swallow. Or should I get you a knife and fork like you used to use?>
My nares redden a bit, but I can't help but snark. <Sure, and perhaps some red wine. Everyone always says red wine goes good with mice,> I say. I have never had any wine, but it always seems to be the way in movies.
I draw a deep breath and take one last look around. I do not see the hiker, so it is probably safe to look like an undignified eagle as I eat. I lift the mouse up to my beak as if it were asparagus, and Mom was saying, ``No dessert unless you eat it.''
I sigh and grab the mouse carefully with my beak as it feels so weird, the wiggling of my beak and foot almost making it seem alive. I quickly get it into my beak, and it tastes better than I want to admit, as I quickly gulp it down as I was told earlier to.
Shiners shakes his head, laughing so hard some snow falls down on me. <You are going to have to get used to this stuff. You are going to be an eagle for a while,> he says.
I feel it slide all the way into me as I lick my beak. <Okay, better than I was expecting... actually tastes better than any of the meat I have had the last few days, other than maybe the rabbit leg.>
Shiners looks at me while practically upside down. <Are you going to have another one?> he asks. <I doubt that will fill you up, but it might hold you over until you get more food.>
I think about it, and then a brilliant idea hits me, something that feels instinctive and something to be proud of. <Ohhh, how about I share it with Charlie or my parents? It might make it easier for them to accept me if I show I can hunt.>
Shiners just stares at me, perplexed, shaking his head. <I am sure your family will find it a rather nice gift,> he says sarcastically.
I just smile as I take back to the air once I feel the mouse settle and begin circling again. <That is exactly it. Nothing says ``I love you'' more than food.>
I give Shiners a small head bob, showing my confidence as I circle again, looking down at the mice below for the tastiest, plumpest one, and soon I spot it. I lick my beak and circle once more before I dive down toward it. This is for my family, to prove myself.
Once again, I let my instincts guide me, but I stay in control. I see the mouse flee to the side, so I bank hard and reach out with my feet, catching it. This time, I manage to land on both feet, the mouse slightly squished between them. I give a mental cheer, <GOT IT!!!> feeling so excited and proud.
I smile at this, so proud of myself. <Let us go find Charlie. It has to be close to school letting out by the time we return.>
Shiners shakes his head with amusement. <Oh, we definitely should go talk to Charlie. I am sure he will love this idea.>
I take to the air as we start to fly back. <I bet Charlie will be so proud,> I say, genuinely proud about it.
