Dirty deeds done at reasonable rates. Atrocious acts at affordable prices. Amoral acts at affordable cost. Egregious decisions with remarkably low down payments (it's the interest rate that gets you). Astoundingly diabolical wishes carried out at unlawfully low bargain prices (it's for the love of the game).
Now all I have to do is decide what I would be hiring her to do. Would summoning tentacles count as heinous acts?
Dirty deeds done at reasonable rates. Atrocious acts at affordable prices. Amoral acts at afforda