And, I've got to say. This game.... it really was an experience...
It's funny, I actually knew about this game for years but never actually got around to playing it until last year when I decided to finally give it a try and see what all the fuss was about.
In all honesty I actually hated the experience. The first in game day was incredibly boring, the lack of voice acting shocked me and, I really had a hard time grasping that this was the game so many people were making such a huge fuss over.
I was waiting for the game to get interesting but just didn't have the patience for it. After around an hour and a half I gave up, shelved the game and honestly forgot about it until recently.
I had completely forgot this even was supposed to be a horror game, I always just remembered it as that boring dating sim that was sitting in my back log of games I'll eventually get around to beating.
So fast forward to, well recently, and I've found myself with more free time and a more open mind and I wanted to give this game a second chance.
I wanted to go in open minded and really see if it was worth the hype surrounding it so I gave it another shot and booted it up, determined to get properly into it this time around and at least try to get sucked in.
I scoffed at the trigger warnings at the begining, just assuming this was a dating sim at heart with a few Sonic.EXE style jump scares thrown in, but... man, that really isn't the type of game this is...
The type of game this is... it really lulls you into a false sence of security and brings you in tight. It's... almost like if The Amityville Horror starts off as a rom com for two thirds of the entire movie and then out of nowhere just becomes a serious horror film where the characters you just got to know are out of nowhere suddenly dying.
It's like... if you're playing Animal Crossing for 2 years straight, building your town and falling in love with your village, and right out of nowhere a zombie apocalypse happens and you're forced to watch everything you love and care about get torn apart.
It's like that scene from 1408 when you see Jon Cusack finally leave that haunted room and go on and live a normal life, reconnect with his ex-wife, live by the beach and pick up the broken pieces of his former life. And then that post office scene happens... the wall come crashing down, and you're just sucked into the abyss... sucked into the demonic hold this game has on you...
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Doki Doki Literature Club, it makes the interesting choice to start the game as boring as possible.
That's why I originally didn't like it, it's intentionally as boring and formulaic as a dating sim could possibly be.
But that's kinda the charm of this game, it's designed that way on purpose to 'ironically' reel you in.
To reel you into a false sence of security.
And honesty it was working.
I really grew to love these characters and secretly hated how much I was secretly enjoying the high school drama.
Sayori is this ditzy airhead who's aggressively annoying but is so honest and selfless it's hard to fault her.
Yuri is so mousy and painfully shy it's almost frustrating but you know there's a brilliant mind hidden away behind the shyness just desperate for someone to open up to and share herself with.
Natsuki has thorns, she's not afraid to spit venom whenever she feels scorned but you know she has a soft exterior deep down.
You really do feel for these characters and their high school dilemmas.
I was actually really sucked in and by the forth in-game day was really looking forward to the festival.
And... that's when the game all of a sudden throws you a curve ball.
A curve ball that reminds you why this game came with a trigger warning, why this game is a little more than your average anime dating sim.
[Spoiler alert from here on out]
The day before the festival, you find out that your best friend since childhood, as annoying and ditzy as she is, secretly suffers from depression behind the scenes.
It comes out of nowhere but it hits you like a ton of bricks.
It... sucks the life out of the room. All of a sudden shit suddenly get's serious.
You feel for this person, you really do.
You hate how much you spent this entire time hating her and harbouring a low opinion of her, you feel overwhelmingly selfish for brushing her off as being an airhead with nothing going on upstairs other than sunshine and rainbows.
Discovering that she was putting on a brave face for you this entire time and that the reason she's always late is because she struggles to get out of bed in the morning... it cuts deep.
You wanna drop everything and be there for her, but then you remember you have that date with Yuri you was really looking forward to.
You're caught between a rock and a hard place.
You wanna be there for your friend, you desperately don't want to feel selfish, but you know how much the festival means to Yuri, how much she was looking forward to coming around and what this would do to her already fragile self esteem if you turn her away.
It's tough but you don't have it in you to turn Yuri away.
You tell Sayori you'll be there for her but can't leave Yuri hanging.
You invite her in and have an amazing day together. It couldn't be going better, you even completely forget about Sayori.
It's amazing how much thought Yuki actually put into the decorations. I thought it was just going to be some stupid banners and ribbons but she actually went into incredible detail over scented candles and aromatherapy to create the perfect mood and atmosphere for the festival. It's surprising how much knowledge and talents she has when she opens up to you, you can't help but feel proud in a way.
It is a bit odd that she insists on cutting the ribbons with a pocket knife rather than a pair of scissors like most people would, and that the paper is an intense deep red... and that she's... really precise with that pocket knife... really... really... precise...
But you try not to think about it. Just an odd quirk. I mean, some people even cut their meat with scissors rather than a knife. To each their own, right?
Anyway, the date goes perfectly and you hate that she has to leave. You almost wanna find an excuse to have her stay for dinner, offer to cook. Anything?
But why spoil a perfect date?
But that's when Sayori shows up, right out of nowhere, inviting herself into the conversation.
You know what she's doing, she knows you know what she's doing, but you can't bring yourself to hate her, knowing what she's going through behind the scenes.
She knows you know, she knows you don't wanna hurt her and she knows you don't wanna hurt Yuri either, but then out of nowhere she pretty much forces you to make a choice... her or Yuri.
You wanna be there for her as a friend. You wanna make it clear that you want to stay friends and see her as a friend... you hope that answer is enough... You think nothing more of it.
You've already forgotten this was supposed to be a horror game. It's completely so far out of your mind at this point you hadn't even begun to process where this could do.
The next day rolls around and you can't help but feel excited for the festival.
It's a bit strange Sayori hasn't shown up to greet you but you think little of it, decide to give her space and head off to school, assuming she might already be there.
You speak to Monika who claims she hadn't shown up and how unlike her it is... it's a bit odd but you decide to go back and check on her, realising it was wrong not to in her already fragile state.
And... that's when the cheerful, upbeat music stops...
Already you're fearing for the worse but you just assume, "Oh maybe she just overslept" or "Maybe she's still upset and didn't want to be at the festival".
You head up the stairs, you're calling to her, she's not answering. No one's home...
You keep on walking up the stairs and I'm thinking "No, no, no, no, no, no..." "They wouldn't..." "They wouldn't put this in the game, surely..."
You're hoping the developer isn't that cruel, you're hoping he's not jumped to the same conclusions you're about to...
You know that feeling? When... you just know something bads happened to someone you care about, even before you're told?
Do you ever have that? That sixth sence? Where you find out a family member or a close friend has died and, even before you're told, you just know? Like, you just know the next phone call you're about to receive is going to deliver that bad news?
No? Is that just me?
Maybe I just have a sixth sence about these things?
But... it cut like a knife.
I opened that door... and ... ...all the hairs just stood on end as I stared at disbelief at what happened. I was just numb, staring at the screen in shock and horror.
True horror, just... speechless...
I thought this was going to be some cheesy horror game, like Five Nights at Freddy's, or Sonic.EXE, Jeff the Killer... something!?
This... is as if an actual sibling committed suicide right in front of you. Someone you care about.
It cuts deep. Your mind goes through the same withdrawal.
And that's the thing, that's what gives this so much weight.
You actually bond with these characters, get to know them, fall for them, see them as family.
This isn't like Friday the 13th where Jason is hunting down some random councillors, it's a real horror that sticks with you because it's happening to genuine people you bond with and care about.
It's almost as if a close relative, a sibling, even a son or daughter committed suicide. You just stare in numbness while you go into withdrawal... It sticks with you so hard. Like a bath in ice cold water, it's an overwhelming sensation of a thousand knives. It's an assault on your very soul.
After that, the games takes a much harsher and sinister tone. Characters you grew to love become much more twisted and darker versions of themselves, the game takes a sinister turn and... you strangely become desensitized to the horror, till you find yourself in a room alone with Monika and can say with absolute comfort... all my life's choices have lead to this very moment...
THAT... is Doki Doki Literature Club.
