After noticing a new brand of protein on the shelves, and having totally forgotten about the incident a few years ago, I decided to purchase a six-pack and invite my friend Blake to the stadium to join me on the field at the Eagles vs. Cowboys game! For a little extra fun, I supplied him a spare Cowboys uniform so he could join their Defense and try to block or intercept any passes thrown my way.
After he donned his uniform, I invited him to down a can of the new energy drink, so we both clanged the cans together and chugged the concoction quickly and enthusiastically! The drink had promised us that we'd gain muscle instantly, so it was no surprise when our uniforms appeared to be getting tighter and tighter...but where we were gaining mass wasn't where we expected it!
Tails shot through our compression shorts and hooves burst through our cleats, as our chests widened and shredded our jerseys! Our faces pushed outward into bovine muzzles, and my helmet broke into several pieces as two large, ivory horns pushed through the top. Four large, pink teats pushed out of our bodies below the chest as we made fun of how each of us looked, our jeers turning into cow moos! I remained almost completely oblivious to the changes, instead completely amazed at how much stronger and bulkier I was becoming, but Blake seemed to notice something was a bit off... Both of us dropped our empty cans in surprise, stomping them as we started to go quadrupedal and lose balance. My helmet, now destroyed, fell to the floor, but I couldn't care less. Despite not knowing I was a cow, I was well aware that my uniform was completely destroyed...and yet I was completely fine with that! Blake thought being naked was a bit embarrassing, but neither of us wanted to keep the public waiting any longer, so we both marched out onto the field, where we proceeded to munch on the grass! Everyone sitting up in the stands was expecting a football game, but instead, they were treated to a show of two large Holsteins ingesting bits of the field!
Both teams might have to reschedule the game, because it doesn't look like any football's gonna be happening tonight!
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