I find myself very moved by the goal of Mahayana Buddhism - to become a Bodhisattva, a being who attains enlightenment and then shares it with other beings, to help free all beings - people, animals and everything - from suffering. I've always wanted to save the world but because of my severe sensory disabilities I don't have much power to do anything about that, so the idea of saving the world in a spiritual way appeals a lot to me.
The idea of Pure Lands from Mahayana Buddhism also moves me a lot too. I think the notion of Heaven or Hell - including the Heaven and Hell realms in Buddhism - seem a bit silly and anthropocentric. Why would such a vast and unknowable cosmos care about rewarding or punishing tiny little humans? But the idea of a Pure Land - a world you can be reborn into where it's kind of like a monastery or an abbey, where you get to be tutored towards your enlightenment by a Bodhisattva, and you are free from distractions like intense pains, intense pleasures or worrying about survival needs - makes a lot of sense. A realm where we make ourselves more useful to the cosmos makes more sense to me, it's less centred around petty human desires like reward or punishment.
I have started practising a modified version of Mahayana Buddhism, with some influence from Daoism and IFS (internal family systems) therapy. I'm not doing a great job so far, I'm definitely not a role model to aspire to, I'm struggling a lot to live up to the ethics and practices. But I'm getting gradually - very gradually - better at it. And I do feel deeply moved by it, it makes sense to me.
This is my attempt at drawing an image I've been using as a focus of meditation. It's my "fursona", Scallop the otter, as a Bodhisattva. I meditate on this to practice focusing my mind on one singular thing, to practice being in control of my mind and actions, rather than them controlling me. But I also meditate on this to remind myself why I must keep going: because I know how awful suffering is, because I believe all beings have the capacity to escape it in this life or another, and because I am determined that I will escape it some day and bring other beings along with me. I want everyone to be okay, and happy, and that is why I must keep trying to live and trying to be a better person, even when I feel ashamed or hopeless or sad or scared.
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3 months ago
22 Jul 2025 23:21 CEST
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